# Contribute to another story... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284 "2000-08-06T00:50:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/41 "2000-08-07T16:46:35Z")
…which normally wouldn’t have bothered me. But this night was different. This night was… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/42 "2000-08-07T18:34:34Z")
my birthday. I had just turned 21 and been outed at my party by… ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/43 "2000-08-07T18:46:44Z")
the stripper who was sitting on my lap when i blew out the candles. She started with, “Attention everyone, I have something to say about the guest of honor…” ---
**Author:** ![Qixotica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Qixotica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qixotica)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/44 "2000-08-07T19:06:10Z")
she said, flipping her hair in my face. “I know that you have all been dying to know this but our birthday guest of honor is…” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/45 "2000-08-09T21:22:49Z")
“…better hung than any other man present, as I know from experience.” As the crowd reacted to this, she glanced at the calendfar on the opposite wall and remembered that the next day was… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/46 "2000-08-09T21:37:51Z")
…was the anniversary of her leaving home at the tender age of 15. suddenly the painful memories of her childhood, her first love, and the reason for her running away from home to join the stripper sisterhood. and just as glancing at the calendar had triggered all these memories they were forgotten in a flash as the door crashed down and… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/47 "2000-08-09T21:39:42Z")
woa sorry about that fragment there, got distracted it seems ---
**Author:** ![steeljaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@steeljaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steeljaw)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/48 "2000-08-09T21:43:14Z")
and a large wallaby materialized in front of her, saying nothing more than “if you build it, they will come.” ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/49 "2000-08-09T21:51:30Z")
She composed herself and shot back, “NO! I know that when _they_ [all the men present] got built up, they came! And so did I!” 😃 Even the women laughed heartily at this squelch. Then these same women, feeling that certain emotion welling up inside themselves, decided to coax their husbands home so that they could… ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/50 "2000-08-09T22:19:55Z")
…mow the lawn because the sheep had not been doing their job as they were too preoccupied with… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/51 "2000-08-09T22:28:30Z")
munching on mrs. baker’s flowers, kind mrs. old baker flys off the handle and scurries outside to beat them off when suddenly… ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/52 "2000-08-09T22:47:32Z")
Mr. old Baker pulled her back inside and demanded that she beat \*him]/i] off! 😉 😃 :o ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/53 "2000-08-10T01:43:34Z")
And somewhere in Russia-formerly-known-as-the-USSR, Carmen Sandiego stole the priceless toilet of Ivan the Terrible from the Generic Russian Museum. ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/54 "2000-08-10T03:52:01Z")
half way through siberia carmen realizes her folly, dragging his fricken toliet across russia was going to be some feat as it was damn heavy, but one the other hand it was quite handy to have, a very chic port-a-potty… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/55 "2000-08-10T04:04:14Z")
More important is Catherine The Great’s toilet, or was it a horse? ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/56 "2000-08-10T04:11:39Z")
hmmm can’t remember but let’s forgo the actual facts for now =)i think hauling ivan the terrible’s potty is great! ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/57 "2000-08-10T04:26:04Z")
When all of a sudden, Jimmy Hoffa sticks his head up from inside the toilet. “Man!” he says. “I knew I was tired, but that was overdoing it…!” Carmen looks at him… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/58 "2000-08-10T05:04:54Z")
and says no wonder this damn thing is so heavy get the _BEEP_ out of my _BEEPING_ toilet! ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/59 "2000-08-10T06:23:40Z")
And Hoffa cried, “Your toilet?? I was put in here first, back in 1967.” Then he went on a long story about mobsters, Ted Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Hilary Clinton, Guiliani, glasnost, generally how he was missing for 30 years. After an hour he said, “…and that’s how I wound up here.” ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2000, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284/60 "2000-08-10T09:16:04Z")
carmen sighs and bangs hoffa over the head with a branch, hoffa out cold is left in the snow, carmen once again begins her trek across cold siberia with a lighter historic potty. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-another-story/28284.md?page=4)