# contribute to this story.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473 "2000-07-30T20:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/21 "2000-07-31T06:41:44Z")
Meanwhile, in a distant part of the country, a small rock is knocked off a ledge and falls quietly down the hill. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/22 "2000-07-31T10:53:03Z")
With only the slightest of screams, the small rock hits a slightly larger rock, with groans as it slips down the hill, hitting a much larger rock, which bellows as it careens down a cliff, smashing Wile E. Coyote beneath it. The much larger rock burps, emitting a powerfully toxic gas into the atmosphere, causing the Bozone layer to decay, which, in turn, produces a rain of clowns all over the planet… And somewhere, in the distance, a dog barks… ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/23 "2000-07-31T11:00:11Z")
…out the theme song to _The Facts of Life_ and then… ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/24 "2000-07-31T11:23:14Z")
The dog mysteriously raises his back leg to take a piss. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/25 "2000-07-31T13:03:00Z")
Sadly, he was right next to an electric fence. This barbequed the dog immediately, creating the unique aroma of burned hair and … ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/26 "2000-07-31T13:07:43Z")
what should appear on the horizon, but a suspicious-looking man, holding a straw that’s seen hard use in the service of . . . ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/27 "2000-07-31T13:14:42Z")
a nice thick chocolate milkshake. After all, straws were created to worship at the altar of the grandest of drinks… ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/28 "2000-07-31T13:38:03Z")
…but that was the last thing on the man’s mind. On the horizon behind him could be seen a very ill-looking Rod Stewart, a pissed-off llama, and a woman with very sharp nipples waving a gigantic dildo. Everyone was running in front of a gigantic rockslide that seemed to appear out of nowhere. The man with the straw (call him Ed) ran up to the barbecued dog by the elctric fence and stopped. “Umm, lunch!” he said, and sat dow to enjoy his repast, ignoratn of the danger from the rockslide. Somewhere in China, a flower wilts… ---
**Author:** ![Pink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71c47a/32.png) [@Pink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pink)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/29 "2000-07-31T13:53:08Z")
But the milkshake tasted sour. It had been poisoned by… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/30 "2000-07-31T14:01:53Z")
Clive Anderson, from “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”. Of course, he had intended the poison to be taken by Drew Carey, who was currently out of country, studying a wilted flower in China. Unbeknownst to him… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/31 "2000-07-31T14:04:43Z")
The dog wasn’t dead, only mostly dead. “Hey!” he exclaimed. “Be carefull with that thing!” ---
**Author:** ![astrangefish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bbce88/32.png) [@astrangefish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astrangefish)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/32 "2000-07-31T14:08:45Z")
…Clive Anderson was the flower. Thanks to the marvels of genetic cloning scientists had found a way to convert the cells of a dead hamster into a Clive Anderson look alike. The only draw back was that someone had let some pollen fall into the petri-dish. But Drew was not worried, he knew he loved Clive and would… ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/33 "2000-07-31T14:30:27Z")
…bring his favorite straw to share their beloved intimate moments, punctuated with a passion rare in another man. “What kind of milkshake will it be this time, Drew?” Clive asks. Smiling coyly, Drew replies… ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/34 "2000-07-31T14:44:28Z")
…with a ghastly exhibition of flatulence. They both giggle like school girls and jump into… ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/35 "2000-07-31T17:04:15Z")
…a giant vat of… ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/36 "2000-07-31T17:11:32Z")
Hot quivering wombat flesh. mmmm refresing. They then exited the vat and… ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/37 "2000-07-31T17:20:39Z")
…a camper.It is shaking ferociously.God knows whats going on inside.Phew…This will take time. Then our very own Jebus meets the woman with sharp nipples and cuts himself after which he starts a thread on straightdope titled i don’t like small nipples.This brings about a revolution in… ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/38 "2000-07-31T17:21:18Z")
Check the SDMB, where they are getting flamed in the Pit by techchick68. She says… ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/39 "2000-07-31T17:22:48Z")
…Jumped into a camper.It is shaking ferociously.God knows whats going on inside.Phew…This will take time. Then our very own Jebus meets the woman with sharp nipples and cuts himself after which he starts a thread on straightdope titled i don’t like small nipples.This brings about a revolution in… ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/40 "2000-07-31T17:23:27Z")
“what the hell are you guys doing? Get back to the story!” And with that she lunges… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473.md?page=3)