# contribute to this story.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473 "2000-07-30T20:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/61 "2000-08-01T00:50:31Z")
…were suddenly sidetracked by Richard Gere picking up a bar of soap and yelling “THIS WAY HAMSTERS!!” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/62 "2000-08-01T01:24:42Z")
“Wow”, thought Rover, “Who would think Richard Gere was so nice to bathe those filthy little hamsters! What a guy!” Hadn’t he read a thread about hamsters on the SD? He quickly ran home, vowing never again to venture out into the Big City. ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/63 "2000-08-01T06:01:03Z")
and at that very time in a place far far away,the handsome prince married the beautiful princess.And they lived happily ever after.(someones gotta find a way to end this thread) ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/64 "2000-08-01T15:07:43Z")
…until… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/65 "2000-08-01T15:11:33Z")
The Prince discovered that the Princess called Dr. Laura daily, talking about… ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/66 "2000-08-02T06:15:02Z")
royal heinies, which nobody could stand. so the porky prince decided to do away with all things sexual, and declared himself the bandit of the world. his mission was to… ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/67 "2000-08-04T02:22:09Z")
die. Slowly. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/68 "2000-08-04T02:33:58Z")
But the Prince could not help but ponder the Princess calling Dr. Laura so frequently…was she a good Jew? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/69 "2000-08-04T03:27:10Z")
So he listened in on the other line, and discovered to his horror that… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/70 "2000-08-04T04:03:52Z")
that was she not only a jew she was from the long lost tribe or judah who was helping president clinton at the peace talks… ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/71 "2000-08-04T04:14:16Z")
Ten thousand granny bikers from Cancun, Mexico. They often went down… ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/72 "2000-08-04T15:04:42Z")
…in flames - kinda like this thread has at this point, yet like us Doeprs, she insists on beating a dead… * * * Yer pal, Satan [sub]I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Three months, three weeks, five days, 13 hours, 4 minutes and 6 seconds. 4701 cigarettes not smoked, saving $587.72. Life saved: 2 weeks, 2 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes.[/sub] **_"Satan is not an unattractive person."_-Drain Bead** [sub]Thanks for the ringing endoresement, honey!\*[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/73 "2000-08-04T16:24:32Z")
rat for being naughty. meanwhile…there is a strange book resting in a lonely corner of a large public library.A guy wearing a black eyepatch,sporting a parrot on his shoulder walks into the library and… ---
**Author:** ![enilorac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@enilorac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enilorac)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/74 "2000-08-04T18:26:44Z")
is kindly told to either leave the bird outside, the man claims that its his seeing eye-parrot the first in thie country, he claims to have proof of this and while rummaging around in his wallet for said proof he… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/75 "2000-08-04T19:16:36Z")
drops a viscious looking hamster. ---
**Author:** ![Zeeshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c4cdca/32.png) [@Zeeshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeeshan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/76 "2000-08-04T19:38:16Z")
That scutters out of the door.Then the man takes out a gold coin and asks the librarian for permission to look around.The librarian obliges.After searching for an hour the pirate captain finds the mystical book after which… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/77 "2000-08-04T20:15:12Z")
he goes into a Krispy Kreme store and orders six dozen doughnuts and a chocolate milkshake. After eating everything, he… ---
**Author:** ![jjjfishe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jjjfishe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjjfishe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/78 "2000-08-04T20:20:04Z")
…starts to get a stomach ache and decides to… ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/79 "2000-08-04T20:24:30Z")
…die. * * * Yer pal, Satan [sub]I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Three months, three weeks, five days, 18 hours, 23 minutes and 53 seconds. 4710 cigarettes not smoked, saving $588.83. Life saved: 2 weeks, 2 days, 8 hours, 30 minutes.[/sub] **_"Satan is not an unattractive person."_-Drain Bead** [sub]Thanks for the ringing endoresement, honey!\*[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![labradorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@labradorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/labradorian)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473/80 "2000-08-04T22:47:04Z")
Reading his horoscope in the Enquirer, he decides it isn’t a great day to die, but rather to… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/contribute-to-this-story/27473.md?page=5)