# Conventions/parodies in film/television that should never, EVER be done again. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689 "2005-09-02T02:51:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/1 "2005-09-02T02:51:49Z")
It’s a commercial or a television show; the character (either of the show or for the commercial) is sitting behind a desk like Sam Spade in Maltese Falcon, it’s b/w, and a woman walks in, and we hear narration talking about how she’s a bad dame who looks _so_ angelic or some sh\*t. I never, _ever_ wanna see a ‘funny’ sketch/commercial w/ this crap again. It’s been done too damn much. And now they have that drug commercial with it in it, and it just irks me- the tired gag should, along with any further parody of the monkeys-viewing-monolith scene in 2001 w/ the classical song (to be named by a later poster 😃 ) and any further parody of kung-fu films done by people talking out of sync w/ their own mouths and doing stupid jerky movements when fighting stupidly, be locked up in a box and launched into space. Without the proper tiles, if you know what I mean. Also- horror/slasher film parodies: OUT. We all saw Scream, that movie was clever, your sh\*\* AINT. Stop making fun of it, it’s not funny anymore. Again, space box. Alright, now for some joke conventions: [ul] [li]Mixing up ‘ESPN’ with ‘ESP’- Mean Girls was the last offender I know of[/li][li]when a character goes on a long speech supporting something, then when his/her support is questioned, he shoots it down contradictorily (me: “Beating people up is wrong blah blah…” you: “What if someone joked your favorite sports team?” me: “Then I’d kick his a\*\*!”)[/li][/ul] That’s all I got OTTOMH. How about you media-saturated guys? What conventions/parodies do you feel like never seeing again? ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/2 "2005-09-02T02:53:16Z")
Saying “your anus” when talking about the planets. Not just on television… ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/3 "2005-09-02T02:56:06Z")
OMG CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS ONE THIS IS THE WORST ONE OF ALL TIME: A character asks for sympathy from another character in a little speech, saying 'can’t you just let me go this one time? think about what it means to the children? They look up to us adults, they believe in us, they love us. If not for me, do it for them. Can you find it inside yourself to let me go, just this once?" Pause for 2 seconds on the gruff character, thinking Cut to him slamming that character down, tossing that character out the door, or arresting that character, etc. etc. Last known offender: Desperate Housewives ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/4 "2005-09-02T03:01:06Z")
STAR WARS PARODIES- the Vader breathing, ‘luke i am your father’, ‘the force is with you’- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/5 "2005-09-02T03:05:16Z")
I could go for a few decades (the rst of my life, in fact) without seeing another spiral Matrix hover-cam effect. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/6 "2005-09-02T03:47:35Z")
“It’s a Wonderful Life”, “A Christmas Carol”, and “Santa is in jail/in traction/in his cups so we must save Christmas!” plots. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/7 "2005-09-02T04:26:16Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > STAR WARS PARODIES- the Vader breathing, ‘luke i am your father’, ‘the force is with you’- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO Don’t you mean NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/8 "2005-09-02T04:41:58Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > Mixing up ‘ESPN’ with ‘ESP’- Mean Girls was the last offender I know of Believe it or not, I had somebody do this while talking with me, in real life. It was a person who I had just called on the phone, and she said, “I was just about to call you! I must have ESPN.” I know what you’re thinking… “Yeah yeah, she was probably making a joke”. No, she wasn’t (tone of voice, reaction when I pointed out the mistake, and also she’s just not the type who would intentionally make that sort of joke). ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/9 "2005-09-02T04:45:45Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > monkeys-viewing-monolith scene in 2001 w/ the classical song (to be named by a later poster 😃 ) _Also Sprach Zarathustra_ by Richard Strauss ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/10 "2005-09-02T05:25:35Z")
Once again I’m posting outside of the technical topic of my own OP, but: “I’m Rick James bitch.” Space. Box. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/11 "2005-09-02T07:02:46Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > locked up in a box and launched into space. Without the proper tiles, if you know what I mean. What, like the tiles would _help?_ Ow! Ow! Stop hitting! ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/12 "2005-09-02T07:58:42Z")
One I’ve hated for ages: Person 1: I have something super-important to tell you. I’ve thought about it, and I’ve analyzed my feelings, and you’re really important to me, and I want to tell you that I l… Person 2: Hang on a sec. I just wanted to quickly share the news with you that I’m now dating person 3. Now, what were you saying? Person 1: I, uhh, l-ike football. That’s right, I wanted to tell you that I like footaball. One that is STILL funny, and will always be funny: man getting hit in crotch by football. (Football in the groin had a football in the groin.) ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/13 "2005-09-02T08:07:47Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > Once again I’m posting outside of the technical topic of my own OP, but: “I’m Rick James bitch.” > > Space. Box. Oh God that’s so true. I love The Chapelle Show, but seriously… right after I’d been raving to my dad about how talented Dave Chapelle was, we sit down to watch TCS and…it’s the Rick James episode. I _wanted_ to laugh, but…just no. Never again. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/14 "2005-09-02T08:11:15Z")
Evildoer/serial killer/monster is strangled, bludgeoned or otherwise knocked down on the ground, presumably dead, by the heroine (ALWAYS a woman) - then, as soon as she turns her back, the villain rises from his supposed defeat and turns the tables on the woman. Every time I’m in a movie and a female character seems to have killed a bad guy, I always want to scream, “SHOOT HIM AGAIN! MAKE SURE HE’S DEAD!” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/15 "2005-09-02T08:23:59Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > Every time I’m in a movie and a female character seems to have killed a bad guy, I always want to scream, “SHOOT HIM AGAIN! MAKE SURE HE’S DEAD!” Also if you manage to overcome and kill the heavily-armed henchman, _STOP FOR A MOMENT AND PICK UP HIS WEAPONS!_ - don’t just run off into the labyrinthine underground tunnels, still armed with no more than a bent paperclip. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/16 "2005-09-02T14:24:13Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > STAR WARS PARODIES- the Vader breathing, ‘luke i am your father’, ‘the force is with you’- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO One of my coworkers STILL quotes that stupid “I am your father…your uncle?” Burger King commercial EVERY SINGLE DAY. She is so overdue for a BBQ thread, and not just for that. It was funny the first time, but the staredown between Darth and the King actually WAS funny. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/17 "2005-09-02T14:31:43Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > One that is STILL funny, and will always be funny: man getting hit in crotch by football. (Football in the groin had a football in the groin.) Gruff man: Ahh! My groin! 😃 Personally, I am sick and tired of the following in EVERY HORROR MOVIE EVER! Our Blond Bimbo goes to investigate a mysterious noise. Of course, she does so with jsut a small flashlight (if that) and does not turn on any lgihts. She creeps slowly towards the (attic/basemnt/garage/cemetary), shines the light where the noise came from and…AHHH! SOmething jumps out! Oh…it’s just a cute littly kitty-cat. Our Bimbo, now feeling safe, turns aorund and WHAM! Killer is right behind her. :mad: Note to Hollywood: Original ideas are NOT a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/18 "2005-09-02T14:31:52Z")
It’s been how many decades since _Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner_, and they still present a black man dating/married to a white woman as something daringly progressive? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/19 "2005-09-02T14:47:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Our Blond Bimbo goes to investigate a mysterious noise. Of course, she does so with jsut a small flashlight (if that) and does not turn on any lgihts. She creeps slowly towards the (attic/basemnt/garage/cemetary), shines the light where the noise came from and…AHHH! SOmething jumps out! Oh…it’s just a cute littly kitty-cat. Our Bimbo, now feeling safe, turns aorund and WHAM! Killer is right behind her. On the Jabootu website (and associated bad-film sites) tyhey have a set of common cliches to which they’ve given names. This one is the **Spring-Loaded Cat**. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689/20 "2005-09-02T15:36:44Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > Every time I’m in a movie and a female character seems to have killed a bad guy, I always want to scream, “SHOOT HIM AGAIN! MAKE SURE HE’S DEAD!” They did a good one on 24 with this. (massively paraphrased) Jack: Take the gun, point it at his chest, and shoot him. Kim: (screeches) Blam! Jack: Did you hit him? Kim: Yes. But he’s still breathing. Jack: Shoot him again. Kim: Blam! Ah…the heights that 24 used to reach. Sigh. -Joe [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conventions-parodies-in-film-television-that-should-never-ever-be-done-again-ever/319689.md?page=2)