# Conversational minutiae thT makes you want to punch your SO **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489 "2011-08-21T01:52:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/61 "2011-08-23T00:53:32Z")
These are absolutely hilarious, because although I don’t deal with them all the time, I’ve definitely experienced most of them. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/62 "2011-08-23T01:29:16Z")
Yeah, it reminds me of my mom, of whom if she says “So I was in the grocery store yesterday and I ran into Jane… you remember Jane, right?” **SAY YES**. Thank me later. But I still love my mama. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/63 "2011-08-23T02:14:50Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > **Me:** How did the shopping go for our patio party on Friday? > > **Mrs. Spiff:** I went to the grocery store and I got the salad fixings, the cheese, the wine and beer, the crackers, everything I need to make the spinach dip, the bread, the cold cuts and all the paper plates and plastic utensils we’ll need. But can you believe it, they were totally out of [mumble, mumble] > > **Me:** They were totally out of what? > > **Mrs. Spiff:** I went to the grocery store and I got the salad fixings, the cheese, the wine and beer, the crackers, everything I need to make the spinach dip, the bread, the cold cuts and all the paper plates and plastic utensils we’ll need. But can you believe it, they were totally out of paper napkins. > > I exaggerate, but only slightly. Similar, but with a subtle difference: Her: “Don’t forget, tomorrow I have to mumble mumble mumble” Me: “What was that?” Her (slightly louder): “I said, Don’t forget, tomorrow I have to mumble mumble mumble” [I search for a length of sturdy rope and a stool] mmm ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/64 "2011-08-23T02:27:29Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > And the proper response to a spouse who won’t look for things before asking for your help, is to say; ‘That’s why they’re called _ **your** _ keys!’ Or: “I don’t know. Where have you looked so far?”. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/65 "2011-08-23T04:29:18Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > My spouse will start telling me about something that happened at work, and invariably he will get to the part that goes something like this: “So I said to the day-shift guy, I said–his name is Marvin. No wait, not Marvin. That’s the guy in Supply, Marvin Fields. He was in Korea during the war. It wasn’t Marvin. Oh, that’s right, it was Melvin, Melvin Wickerbelly. Yeah! I told you about him once. He’s the guy whose wife thinks she’s possessed, but no…” > > Usually by this time blood starts dripping from my eyes due to the effort of holding back my screams. Heeee…my mom does this. So it was Thursday morning and we were getting ready to go to the horse show…No, it must have been Friday, because that’s the same day the farrier came, but no…we had him twice that month, so it must have been Wednesday because I ran out of gas…wait, no it was Thursday after all… Anyway we were going to the horse show and we had to load Izzy on the trailer …no wait, Izzy was lame that day, it must have been.. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, who went to the HORSE show? And what HAPPENED There??? eeeeeeeegads!!! But that’s only what happened on the inside, on the outside I’m all “mm hummm…Hmmmm…Oh, well did you use the other car? hmmmm…”. Eventually I’ll gently prod…so what happened at the horse show? ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/66 "2011-08-23T15:41:00Z")
Me: Could you remind me to pick milk up at the store later? SO: Pick milk up at the store later! He does this every time I ask him something like this. And every time I am forced to bludgeon him to death for being so incredibly not-funny. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/67 "2011-08-23T16:15:29Z")
> [@TheMerchandise](#): > > Me: Could you remind me to pick milk up at the store later? > SO: Pick milk up at the store later! > > He does this every time I ask him something like this. And every time I am forced to bludgeon him to death for being so incredibly not-funny. Hahahaaaaaaa! I do this to my wife every time! However, I also actually remember to remind her at the correct time, so not so much with the bludgeoning. Just say, “Later, could you remind me to pick up milk at the store?” He’ll trip over his tongue trying to figure out how to make a joke without looking like a moron… Joe ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/68 "2011-08-23T16:21:01Z")
> [@Hero\_From\_Sector\_7G](#): > > “Hey love, where did you leave your car keys” > > “In my purse” > > “Okay… where is your purse” > > “In the bedroom” > > “Where in the bedroom?” > > “Under my dresser” > > “Okay there are like four purses in here, which one?” > > “The black one” > > “I am going to kill myself now” I don’t understand what’s frustrating here. It looks to me as though she is answering exactly the questions you asked. If you want her to go get her keys for you, why don’t you ask her that? I am mindreading. Because I can’t tell what you want… I don’t understand what’s wrong with her responses… ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/69 "2011-08-23T16:22:42Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I don’t understand what’s frustrating here. It looks to me as though she is answering exactly the questions you asked. If you want her to go get her keys for you, why don’t you ask her that? I am mindreading. Because I can’t tell what you want… I don’t understand what’s wrong with her responses… “Where did you leave your car key?” “It’s in my small black alligator skin purse with the silver clasp under my dresser in the bedroom.” ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/70 "2011-08-23T16:26:31Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > A past SO was prone to say, ‘I _knew_ you were going to say that’, always with a rather smug, triumphant air as if I to suggest that (a) I am sadly predictable and (b) the very fact of my being so predictable meant that she was right and my point was flawed. > > \ I do this to demonstrate, “See how well I know you? We are bread & butter, peas & carrots. I can read your mind, anticipate your needs, and I’m comfortable and happy in that security.” Now I find out that could be taken as “you think I’m predictable” which must translate to “you think I’m boring.” I will either refrain from doing this to my SO, ask if it bothers him, or rephrase it in a way so that my meaning is more clear. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/71 "2011-08-23T16:30:05Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > “Where did you leave your car key?” > > “It’s in my small black alligator skin purse with the silver clasp under my dresser in the bedroom.” Oh, okay, so it’s specificity we’re after? That makes sense. Why not lead with a more specific question then? “_Exactly_ where can I find your car keys? I know they’re in your purse, but which one and where is it? Are they in the main pocket or one of the little compartments?” Think that would help? I find when I give really detailed specific answers to men, they tend to tune me out because they want to here something really simple, like “On the hook by the front door.” So perhaps we should be cutting each other a break. Ask a vague question, you will get a vague answer. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/72 "2011-08-23T16:30:12Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > I do this to demonstrate, “See how well I know you? We are bread & butter, peas & carrots. I can read your mind, anticipate your needs, and I’m comfortable and happy in that security.” > > Now I find out that could be taken as “you think I’m predictable” which must translate to “you think I’m boring.” I will either refrain from doing this to my SO, ask if it bothers him, or rephrase it in a way so that my meaning is more clear. I think these are two different situations. I take Ianzin to mean that in the midst of a dispute, his girlfriend would use “I knew you were going to say that” as a way to discount the validity of the argument that Ianzin was making. “I knew you were going to say that; therefore, I win the argument.” ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/73 "2011-08-23T16:49:02Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > Oh, okay, so it’s specificity we’re after? That makes sense. Why not lead with a more specific question then? :dubious: Saying “In my purse” when the purse is not in view is only slightly more informative than saying “on the planet Earth.” And since the husband is probably not doing a pop quiz to test the wife’s memory, just giving the detailed answer even in the absence of the more detailed question should be assumed. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/74 "2011-08-23T17:20:42Z")
> [@TheMerchandise](#): > > Me: Could you remind me to pick milk up at the store later? > SO: Pick milk up at the store later! > > He does this every time I ask him something like this. And every time I am forced to bludgeon him to death for being so incredibly not-funny. I do this to my husband and my mother. I keep them from doing it to me (if I remember), by saying - When this happens, remind me to pick up milk. e.g. when we get home, before you leave, after lunch, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/75 "2011-08-23T17:44:14Z")
> [@TheMerchandise](#): > > Me: Could you remind me to pick milk up at the store later? > SO: Pick milk up at the store later! > > He does this every time I ask him something like this. And every time I am forced to bludgeon him to death for being so incredibly not-funny. That’s similar to something my husband likes to do - I’ll ask what he wants for supper, and his answer frequently is, “Food.” I’d say that isn’t funny anymore, except that has never been funny. He’s going to get a big plate of cat food for dinner one day. It’s Friskies Surprise! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/76 "2011-08-23T17:48:22Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > “Where did you leave your car key?” > > “It’s in my small black alligator skin purse with the silver clasp under my dresser in the bedroom.” Then ask, “Where _are_ your car keys, I need to get them”. Granted, that may be implied, but since she isn’t picking up on what you need, letting her know _why_ you want to know where her keys are will let her frame her response so as to give you the information you are really asking for. Why are you asking about a past event, when what you really want is the present location? ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/77 "2011-08-23T18:04:46Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > Hahahaaaaaaa! I do this to my wife every time! However, I also actually remember to remind her at the correct time, so not so much with the bludgeoning. > > Just say, “Later, could you remind me to pick up milk at the store?” He’ll trip over his tongue trying to figure out how to make a joke without looking like a moron… > > Joe > [@Zyada](#): > > I do this to my husband and my mother. I keep them from doing it to me (if I remember), by saying - When this happens, remind me to pick up milk. e.g. when we get home, before you leave, after lunch, etc. I don’t even really know you guys, and I’m already reaching for the bludgeoning stick! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/78 "2011-08-23T18:39:18Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I think these are two different situations. I take Ianzin to mean that in the midst of a dispute, his girlfriend would use “I knew you were going to say that” as a way to discount the validity of the argument that Ianzin was making. “I knew you were going to say that; therefore, I win the argument.” Exactamundo. The comment was offered with a smug, triumphant, point-scoring tone, not an affectionate ‘Aw, see how close we are’ tone. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/79 "2011-08-23T18:51:23Z")
> [@TheMerchandise](#): > > Me: Could you remind me to pick milk up at the store later? > SO: Pick milk up at the store later! > > He does this every time I ask him something like this. And every time I am forced to bludgeon him to death for being so incredibly not-funny. My solution is “Don’t let me forget to pick up milk!” Then if you forget, you can blame the other person 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489/80 "2011-08-23T18:51:42Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > :dubious: Saying “In my purse” when the purse is not in view is only slightly more informative than saying “on the planet Earth.” And since the husband is probably not doing a pop quiz to test the wife’s memory, just giving the detailed answer even in the absence of the more detailed question should be assumed. Now, see, there’s where we disagree. I think nothing should be assumed. Ever. I have no basis for assuming you need a more detailed answer than that which you asked for. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/conversational-minutiae-tht-makes-you-want-to-punch-your-so/593489.md?page=5)