# Convienience foods you have invented. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2014, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456 "2014-07-18T14:44:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/21 "2014-07-19T17:02:51Z")
I invented (so far as I know…) a snack called Handful Of Parmesan. It works best with you-know-which-one, the green can of grated parmesan. With one hand, grasp the container and pour a goodly amount into your other hand. Open wide, and pop it all into your mouth in one motion. Repeat as necessary. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/22 "2014-07-19T17:09:49Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > I invented (so far as I know…) a snack called Handful Of Parmesan. It works best with you-know-which-one, the green can of grated parmesan. With one hand, grasp the container and pour a goodly amount into your other hand. Open wide, and pop it all into your mouth in one motion. Repeat as necessary. **KHAAAACK!** \*\*KHACK!\*\*KHAAACKKKK! **KHAAAAAAAAACCCKKKK!!!** Delicious! ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/23 "2014-07-19T17:13:11Z")
I forgot to mention: Do not inhale during the “pop it all into your mouth” stage. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Purin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Purin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/24 "2014-07-19T17:27:03Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > I invented (so far as I know…) a snack called Handful Of Parmesan. It works best with you-know-which-one, the green can of grated parmesan. With one hand, grasp the container and pour a goodly amount into your other hand. Open wide, and pop it all into your mouth in one motion. Repeat as necessary. I have had this snack on multiple occasions. ---
**Author:** ![Purin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Purin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/25 "2014-07-19T17:30:41Z")
Mine has probably been done before, but I call it … 5 Jolly Ranchers. In your mouth. At the same time. Good for when you need something sour but don’t have one. It makes my spit hurt, and I think my nose dripped like a leaky faucet for the entirety of the eating process. I also think my cheeks have stretch marks. Don’t eat “5 Jolly Ranchers In Your Mouth At The Same Time”. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/26 "2014-07-19T17:36:37Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > I invented (so far as I know…) a snack called Handful Of Parmesan. It works best with you-know-which-one, the green can of grated parmesan. With one hand, grasp the container and pour a goodly amount into your other hand. Open wide, and pop it all into your mouth in one motion. Repeat as necessary. I invented a variation of this called the Bottom of the Bag of Potato Chips and Parmesan. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/27 "2014-07-19T17:51:08Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > I invented a variation of this called the Bottom of the Bag of Potato Chips and Parmesan. Nice variation, that sounds really good! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/28 "2014-07-19T18:12:23Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > I invented a variation of this called the Bottom of the Bag of Potato Chips and Parmesan. That reminds me, I’ll sometimes buy a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and then mix them both into one giant bag. Which I then use to supply my work lunches. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/29 "2014-07-19T18:16:37Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > I invented (so far as I know…) a snack called Handful Of Parmesan. It works best with you-know-which-one, the green can of grated parmesan. With one hand, grasp the container and pour a goodly amount into your other hand. Open wide, and pop it all into your mouth in one motion. Repeat as necessary. If you really want to class it up a notch, you can make this recipe with the fancy Parmesan shreds (that also come in a pop top jar). As an added benefit, if you don’t chew right away, you have a delicious mouthful of cheesy, salty saliva, making this an extended release snack. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/30 "2014-07-19T21:12:16Z")
Pizza gun. Pizza ingredients in a disposable tube, like caulking, but with a larger opening. You keep the gun and refill the tube. You can have different tubes in the refrigerator, for different ingredients. Perfect for a pita or bread or crackers, etc. Or use the same tubes for things like peanut butter & jelly, or of course, frosting. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/31 "2014-07-19T22:09:02Z")
Cold spaghetti noodles with grated-in-a-green-can Parmesan cheese for flavor. “Invented” when I had some cooked noodles & Parmesan in the fridge, I was really hungry and it was way too hot to cook anything. I find it tasty, filling, and nicely cool on a hot day. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/32 "2014-07-20T02:45:53Z")
Many years ago when I was a kid, I invented the charmingly named “M&M water.” Take some M&Ms, put them in a cup, and pour in a goodly amount of ice-cold water. Wait for the candy coating to come off, stir, and eat (ideally with a spoonful of the water and three or four M&Ms in each bite). It’s a lazy substitute for sucking on the M&Ms until the covering comes off. And it’s pretty tasty. I still do it sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/33 "2014-07-20T03:13:42Z")
I was too lazy to add toppings to my vanilla ice cream as a kid, so I just sprinkled some chocolate-flavored Ovaltine on top. Actually, I still do this from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2014, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/34 "2014-07-20T05:43:17Z")
Out of tortilla chips for salsa snacking? Just use some crunched up taco shells. Out of taco shells? You’re screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/35 "2014-07-21T02:07:16Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > I was too lazy to add toppings to my vanilla ice cream as a kid, so I just sprinkled some chocolate-flavored Ovaltine on top. > > Actually, I still do this from time to time. That’s a basic variation on the old ‘When making Ovaltine (or whichever chocolate milk drink you prefer), make sure you use so much that it can’t all dissolve and you are left with a thick floating raft of chocolate particles’. The correct quantity of Ovaltine in a regular glass is ‘One spoonful, two spoonfuls, three spoonfuls, and one huge spoonful straight into the mouth’. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/36 "2014-07-21T02:24:07Z")
Ketchup on a slice of mature cheddar. Worcestershire sauce optional. It’s not even that good. I haven’t had it in a while. Chocolate ice cream with a lot of cornflakes in the bowl. Courtesy of a friend of mine: Take cheese and red jalapeno (from a jar) toasties. They should be sealed using one of those toastie maker things. Open up part of the toastie (you can bite a corner off) and stuff them with hot baked beans (from a can). Fucking tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/37 "2014-07-21T02:51:34Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Pizza in a cup! They sold Pizza in a Cup in _The Jerk_! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/38 "2014-07-21T03:34:07Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > . > > Courtesy of a friend of mine: Take cheese and red jalapeno (from a jar) toasties. They should be sealed using one of those toastie maker things. Open up part of the toastie (you can bite a corner off) and stuff them with hot baked beans (from a can). Fucking tasty. I’ve read this three times and still have no idea what you are talking about. OK…here’s mine: wheat germ, sprinkled on ice cream. Or yogurt. Or yogurt and banana. I love wheat germ and also put it on cereal or just a spoonful straight, washed down with a gulp of milk. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/39 "2014-07-21T14:12:10Z")
> [@susan](#): > > Folded egg. > > Fry an egg, breaking the yolk. Flip it and cook the other side. Let cool. Grab from pan, fold into a wad, jam into mouth while running to the bus. Two of those with some cheese is my breakfast almost every weekend. I go with the fork option though 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456/40 "2014-07-21T14:24:30Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > …Courtesy of a friend of mine: Take cheese and red jalapeno (from a jar) toasties. They should be sealed using one of those toastie maker things. Open up part of the toastie (you can bite a corner off) and stuff them with hot baked beans (from a can). Fucking tasty. > [@salinqmind](#): > > I’ve read this three times and still have no idea what you are talking about… It definitely loses something in the transatlantic crossing. I have no idea either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convienience-foods-you-have-invented/693456.md?page=3)