Convince me everything's going to be ok.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Economic meltdown – well, the main thing that ended the last one was a global war, so maybe we should just put up with it.

Global climate change – self-correcting; see below.

Mortality – if you live long enough, you’ll just get bored anyway.

Peak oil – running out will go a long way toward eliminating the human contribution to climate change…

Obesity – and the economic meltdown will do likewise for this one.

War – Hooah, what is it good for? Some rousing music, both pro- and anti, for one thing.

Water – I’d start taking shorter showers right about now, if I were you.

Pirates – c’mon, everybody secretly wishes they were one, don’t they?

22

Become an atheist and an existentialist, and if you don’t already have kids, don’t.

If you already have kids, you’re screwed. You kinda have to worry about the future for the sake of your kids.

But if you don’t… ah, bliss. No responsibilities to future generations, or “mankind” or “God”.

I’ve had a vasectomy, so I’m already guaranteed to be less of a drain on the world’s resources than the vast majority of folks, whose spawn will be gobbling kilowatts into the indefinite future. So I figure I can use a Humvee to power a toaster, guilt-free. :stuck_out_tongue:

23

Indeed! Ninjas don’t get wenches! :slight_smile:

24

You will die.

All your friends and family, including your children, will die.

All people you know, and the people they know, including unborn generations from thousands of centuries in the future, will ultimately grow old and die.

All memories of your existence will be forgotten, all evidence that you’ve ever existed will be destroyed, not just you but every person who is alive right now or has existed in the past – everyone will be forgotten. (Except for Elvis, maybe.)

The human race itself will go extinct, or evolve into another species entirely, where physical death may or may not remain an issue.

The sun will expend all its energy, first entering a red giant “nova” stage (which will destroy all remaining life on Earth) before condensing into a cold, lifeless white dwarf, rendering the entire solar system uninhabitable.

The Milky Way will expend all energy, scattering dark, entropic matter across the cosmos, or collapsing into a gigantic black hole.

Ultimately, The Universe itself will run out of energy, reaching a state of maximum entropy where no heat or life can exist, with random dead particles spread evenly throughout infinite space, or collapsing upon itself in The Big Crunch – either way, we’re fucked.

All of this is guaranteed to happen. So…why worry about something so trivial as the economy? :cool:

25

From Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road”:

  • Things will be better when everybody’s gone.
  • Better for who?
  • Everybody…We’ll all be better off. We’ll all breathe easier…When we’re all gone at last then there’ll be nobody here but death and his days will be numbered too. He’ll be out in the road there with nothing to do and nobody to do it to. He’ll say: Where did everybody go? And that’s how it will be. What’s wrong with that?

:slight_smile: