# Convince me to say "n-word" rather than "nigger" when the latter is what I mean. **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 15, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756 "2010-11-15T17:47:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/1 "2010-11-15T17:47:19Z")
I am a 40-year-old black man. I’ve had the word _nigger_ used to me to my face in several contexts: as a racist insult from white persons, as a criticism (warning against certain irresponsible behaviors) from other black persons, and even as a term of affection from other black persons. I don’t throw the word around constantly, but if I have occasion to refer to the word in conversation, I refuse to say “n-word,” on account of finding it stupid. If I’m going to make the reference, I’m going to write and/or say _nigger_. Moreover, I don’t insist that non-black persons eschew the word either, so long as they are not using it as a racial slur against me. I know at least one person who is bothered by this. Convince me that my position is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/2 "2010-11-15T17:54:04Z")
FTR, I’ve known **white** kids who call each other “nigger” (and “dog”) affectionately. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/3 "2010-11-15T17:57:23Z")
You can freely use the word when referring to it in conversation, but you are required to do elaborate air quotes when doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/4 "2010-11-15T18:05:57Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I know at least one person who is bothered by this. Convince me that my position is wrong. I’m a white guy and while I’m bothered by the general use of the word nigger I don’t mind it within a certain context. Nigger, kike, and cunt are pretty much the three magical words I was brought up never to say. I don’t use it in casual conversation but I’ll use it in a paper or if I’m speaking I’ll quote it. For example I was reading through an old issue of the WCTU’s house organ _The White Ribbon_ and I came across an article about the importance of attracting Negro women to the cause. In that same issue I saw the phrase “nigger in the woodpile” in one of their articles. When I gave a presentation about the WCTU in the south during the early 20th century I mention the phrase in full. If you and I were having lunch and someone walked up and in a friendly manner said “What’s up, my nigga” I’d be a little uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/5 "2010-11-15T18:14:41Z")
I’d say as a black person you can use the term as you see fit. As a person of pasty ancestry, there is no context under which I can see myself using th’ n-word, save to discuss the word itself, hence the term ‘the n-word’. As a comparison, you might use with caution words that identify other ethnic groups. For instance, “cracker” and “redneck” might be inclusive terms of affection among certain groups, but I (and I suspect you) still use them with some degree of caution. However, neither term instantly represents ‘fighting words’ the way the n-word does when used by the pale peoples. > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > FTR, I’ve known **white** kids who call each other “nigger” (and “dog”) affectionately. Do they also call one another ‘moron’, 'cause that has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. > [@Odesio](#): > > If you and I were having lunch and someone walked up and in a friendly manner said “What’s up, my nigga” I’d be a little uncomfortable. Who are they saying it to, you or Skald? ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/6 "2010-11-15T18:21:37Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Who are they saying it to, you or Skald? It just so happens that a classmate I barely knew saw me one day and said “Sup, nigga” which elicited more of a puzzled expression from me than discomfort. 🙂 In this scenario let’s assume they’re talking to Skald. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/7 "2010-11-15T18:26:02Z")
N-word, _please._ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/8 "2010-11-15T18:28:12Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > N-word, _please._ Nigger, please. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/9 "2010-11-15T18:29:27Z")
I’m with you on this one, **Skald the Rhymer** , and I’ve posted about it at least a couple of times in various threads. I’m a white guy and I’ve never wanted to call anybody a nigger, but I don’t think we all need to bow to the most delicate of sensibilities. I don’t want to talk about _Huckleberry Finn_ and call Huck’s friend “N-word Jim,” then watch the nightly news and hear about how some Congressman “is in hot water for allegedly calling his opponent ‘the n word.’” Nor do I want to see headlines about “[the b word](http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20437838,00.html)” and “[the t word](http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/02/glaad-glee-shouldnt-have-used-tray/?hpt=Sbin).” All of this garbage speak to an elementary school mentality and I loathe it. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/10 "2010-11-15T18:31:40Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Do they also call one another ‘moron’, 'cause that has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. No, but they’re all fans of rap “music,” which is one of the dumbest things **I’ve** ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/11 "2010-11-15T18:32:41Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Nigger, please. Snigger, _please._ ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/12 "2010-11-15T18:44:41Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Snigger, _please._ Niggard_ly_. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/13 "2010-11-15T18:44:51Z")
White guy here. I don’t use it, ever. Even if I thought the context made it completely innocent and even if I thought I knew my audience well enough to be understood as such, the word carries with it _so_ much emotional and historical baggage that there’s too much of a chance somebody will react badly to its use. Whatever reason I might believe I have to say it, it’s not worth putting myself in a position to have to defend myself over it. That said, it’s not for me to convince you of anything. And your race does give you some latitude IMO. While I’d probably think less of any non-black person using the word in most contexts, I do understand the idea of black people “taking it back” so to speak. It sounds like you realize full well that it makes some people uncomfortable and if you’re OK with that, do as you like. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/14 "2010-11-15T18:48:17Z")
Side question: Is it okay for a white person to say, “What’s up mah, nigglets?” I think that it’s funny enough to be acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/15 "2010-11-15T18:49:04Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Nigger, please. In a really funny Daily Show interview; [QUOTE=Larry Wilmore] That’s just good manners. [/Quote] ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/16 "2010-11-15T18:49:10Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I am a 40-year-old black man. I’ve had the word _nigger_ used to me to my face in several contexts: I am a 50 year old white guy. Use the word all you like, but please not in front of my 16 year old son. He is sad when he hears anyone say the word after hearing from me how it was used during my youth. Same goes for “retard”. My son has taught me not to use the word, as it insults a classmate of his who is mentally challenged. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/17 "2010-11-15T18:49:14Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I’m with you on this one, **Skald the Rhymer** , and I’ve posted about it at least a couple of times in various threads. I’m a white guy and I’ve never wanted to call anybody a nigger, but I don’t think we all need to bow to the most delicate of sensibilities. I don’t want to talk about _Huckleberry Finn_ and call Huck’s friend “N-word Jim,” then watch the nightly news and hear about how some Congressman “is in hot water for allegedly calling his opponent ‘the n word.’” Nor do I want to see headlines about “[the b word](http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20437838,00.html)” and “[the t word](http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/02/glaad-glee-shouldnt-have-used-tray/?hpt=Sbin).” All of this garbage speak to an elementary school mentality and I loathe it. Agree. _ **N-word Jim** _ is ridiculous - was Tom also terrified of\*\*\* First Nations Joe\*\*\*? Plus, this -word shit is imprecise. I got the B-word that Oprah doesn’t like, but I was miles off on the T-word. Seriously, most T-words that they meant don’t even have the T-word that I thought they meant, if you know what I mean, and I’m doubtin’ that you do. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/18 "2010-11-15T18:50:59Z")
I’m a really white white guy and there’s no way I could get away with using the word “nigger” in casual speech. On the other hand, if I’m taking ABOUT racism, I don’t see any reason to sugar-coat things by resorting to a euphemism. And if black folks want to try to reclaim “nigger” the way the queers did “queer”, then more power to them. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/19 "2010-11-15T18:53:27Z")
Can’t argue with the OP. I can see why certain periodicals would prefer “the n-word” along with “the f-word”, etc. But if we’re talking amongst ourselves, it seems like overkill. I’m not talking about calling someone a nigger, maliciously, but just discussing the word itself. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756/20 "2010-11-15T19:00:31Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Agree. _ **N-word Jim** _ is ridiculous - was Tom also terrified of\*\*\* First Nations Joe\*\*\*? Plus, this -word shit is imprecise. I got the B-word that Oprah doesn’t like, but I was miles off on the T-word. Seriously, most T-words that they meant don’t even have the T-word that I thought they meant, if you know what I mean, and I’m doubtin’ that you do. The amazing part is I _do_ know what you mean. Aside from the fact that it’s infantile, you can’t go around declaring every insulting word “the \_ word” and expect everybody to instantly think of the same word you’re thinking of. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-to-say-n-word-rather-than-nigger-when-the-latter-is-what-i-mean/560756.md?page=2)