# Convince me why I should go out with nerd girl. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 11, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607 "2004-05-11T12:00:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/121 "2004-05-12T10:39:08Z")
Apparently \*\*duffer’s \*\* Michelle is a bit more randy 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sisyphus\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sisyphus\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sisyphus_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/122 "2004-05-12T10:42:55Z")
I think you’ve all been too tough on **SHAKES**. Bloody 'ell, he’s only trying to socialise the **Nerdgirl** and he’s doimg her a big favour by introducing her to a real social life. Give the bloke a break. And all you desperate types looking to hook up with nerd-sorts via this thread - whatta-buncha-psuedo-pffisters you are! ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/123 "2004-05-12T10:58:35Z")
Anyone else think that Nerdgirl and Drunken bi-girls would do a whole lot better loosing **Shakes** and having a party of their own. He has already told us he can’t get girls who aren’t drunk. I am guessing he is one of those people who has to feel superior to someone to have any self-esteem. Nerdgirl should stay far far away. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/124 "2004-05-12T11:16:35Z")
Oh, I don’t know. One reason I don’t care for dating guys who’s idea of a good time is it weeds out the riff-raff. **Shakes** , keep something in mind. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance isn’t. Learn the difference between the two, choose which side of the line you want to stay on, and don’t whine about the consequences of it. For the rest of you, shyness can also be rather sexy. If a shy guy gets up the confidence to talk to me or ask me out, it tells me he must think I’m something rather special. **Sisyphus’ Stone** , I have a real social life, and I enjoy it a lot more than I would the one you recommend. It suits me. Besides, I’m rather amused by the idea of someone with your handle putting down nerds. 😉 CJ ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/125 "2004-05-12T11:31:56Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > duffer, Michelle played the flute. shit, I was gonna say flute. Got it wrong. Not the first time :smack: Oh, and a quick reminder, the OP was talking about a “girl” not a “grrl” Fuck, I hate when people take a word and try to be cute by making up a new spelling when it’s the same word. And pronounced the same. And means the same. Thayt’s allll. No more wrnnntting on “grrl” spllng. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/126 "2004-05-12T11:35:52Z")
SHAKES, renting out “Drunken Bi Barfly girls, Vol. I-IV” does not constitute a date. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/127 "2004-05-12T11:40:52Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > I’m another nerd girl and I’ve got the papers and glasses to prove it. I’ve also know how the gentlemen who are interested in doing so can meet more nerd girls. > > **SHAKES** , your description fits me pretty acurately or at least the impression I’ve been known to give, so let me tell you something honestly, not insultingly. Your plan on inviting the girl to hang out with others after work may not work and if it does, it may not be a good sign. You see, if it were me, while I might appreciate the offer, I woudn’t enjoy the evening. I don’t hang out in bars because I don’t like hanging out in bars. It’s usually too loud and too boring for my taste. It’s difficult getting to know a person if you have to shout to be heard. Also, if the girl’s as insecure as you make her out to be, putting her in an environment where she isn’t comfortable will just make things worse. If you’re serious about getting to know her better, try something different and fun. Maybe a movie you can talk about after, maybe a comedy club, maybe a concert. The morning news is talking about Robert Ballard’s visit to Pittsburgh to talk about the _Titanic_. I can see your eyes rolling at the idea of a lecture as fun, but I’d think it was fun and I’d be thrilled if a fellow asked me to it. One thing to watch out for. I can pick up on charitable vibes a mile away, and I don’t find them attractive. > > The other advice I’ll give you is don’t overestimate her loneliness. I don’t date much, and I have very little conventional social life. I have a great unconventional one. I hang out with other nerds (the papers I referred to in the first paragraph include my Mensa membership among other things). The only men I’ve had sex with have been nerds, and it has been _gooood!_ I’ve also enjoyed backrubs, hugs, good conversations, bad puns and double entendres which would make hard-core Dopers blush, and loved it. I hate hanging out in bars. On the other hand, this Saturday night, I’ll be at a Games Night, having a blast and enjoying every minute of it. **Taran** , if you’re serious about meeting nerd girls in Pittsburgh, send me an e-mail and I’ll give you more information. **Catsix** , and any other nerd-lovers around here, same goes for you. > > I was shy, lonely, and insecure, and then I met and started to hang out with other nerdy, shy types and found them to be some of the best, most interesting, and most _fun_ people I’ve known! As it happens, I do have some conventional attributes, including a love of football and baseball, the latter despite the Pirates. I also love singing beautiful, intricate music with my choir on Sunday mornings and playing with swords with the SCA on Sunday afternoons. I’m a nerd, and proud of it. As a date, I may not be conventional, but if you’re worth my time to date, I assure you, I will be fun. If I’m not, we’re better off without each other. > > CJ **Siege** , thank you. This was EXACTLY the kind of insight I was looking for when I started this thread. And yes I’ll admit to those of you still holding your torches that I could have articulated it little better than I did. Sorry for that; that’s just the way I fuck’n talk. Anyway, the jist of the whole thing is, Nerd girl is a really nice girl and I only comtemplate doing ANY of this because I DO like her. Just not in a romantic sense. Also in closing for those of you wondering how do I know she doesn’t have a social life. It’s because she carpools with some other folks at work thus I get my info from them kind of thing. And yes they could have her story totally wrong but I doubt it. I’m still gonna ask her out for a social gathering though, I don’t care what y’all say. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/128 "2004-05-12T11:45:50Z")
Oh, and **Siege** in case it wasn’t implied I’ll take your post to heart. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/129 "2004-05-12T11:46:38Z")
Thats beautiful **Siege**. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/130 "2004-05-12T11:57:25Z")
Oh, and this little gem from the other thread linked here: > [@SHAKES](#): > > Yeah, My name is **SHAKES** and I’m a real American bad ass. I’m looking for… > Awe, who am I kidding? I’m too cool for you guys… C ya! > > sorry, couldn’t help myself. I’ll go stand in the corner now,… Yeah, I bet you have LOTS of friends, with a shining personality like that. Haha, your humor is just wonderful Casablanca. HurHurHur. I bet that corner you are in is the dunce corner ya moronic drunk. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/131 "2004-05-12T12:22:41Z")
**SHAKES** , I think I get what you’re saying. If you want to take the girl out for dinner, great. Especially if she might need a little boost in the self-esteem department. Just don’t make her think it’s going anywhere if that isn’t your intent. You have to very careful though. You said she comes to you and blushes. This is a red flag if you’re not interested. She may see more into a casual date than you intend to offer. As far as going out with coworkers, it’s not bad to invite her, but she may see it as you asking her out on a “date”. If you have no interest in dating her, treat her as any other coworker. Don’t let the ego (yes, us men have egos, that’s why we are bad) lead you into being taken in by the interest of the opposite sex. It’s a boost to self-esteem to have a woman persue us, but it doesn’t mean it’s the path you want to take. That said, if you have an interest in her, go for it. You never know where love will come from, and you may be surprised. Just lose the superiority thing you express, realize there are better people than you, and always will be (includes all us on the SDMB) and try to find what makes you happy. 10 years ago I thought I knew what I wanted, then “fate” granted me time to find my wife. Just check the flute before buying the house. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RTA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTA)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/132 "2004-05-12T12:33:53Z")
Chicks dig assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/133 "2004-05-12T12:46:17Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > pssst, SHAKES, it’s the 21st century, join us… This made me laugh out loud. EXACTLY what I was thinking but didn’t quite know how to capture the sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/134 "2004-05-12T12:48:05Z")
> [@RTA](#): > > Chicks dig assholes. Yeah, sure we do. And we all just really want to be barefoot and pregnant all the time as well. :rolleyes: Grow the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/135 "2004-05-12T12:51:41Z")
> [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > This made me laugh out loud. EXACTLY what I was thinking but didn’t quite know how to capture the sentiment. Whoohooo! a reference to what year it is!! I remember hearing this from the crowd in audience of Jerry Springer and Rikki Lake. Great comeback! Typical JS or RL crowd: Trog in audience: Girl, this is 1991 and you don’t have to take that. Trog in audience: Girl, this is 1992 and you don’t have to take that repeat _ad nauseum_ ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/136 "2004-05-12T13:00:31Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > Whoohooo! a reference to what year it is!! I remember hearing this from the crowd in audience of Jerry Springer and Rikki Lake. Great comeback! > > Typical JS or RL crowd: > > Trog in audience: Girl, this is 1991 and you don’t have to take that. > Trog in audience: Girl, this is 1992 and you don’t have to take that > > repeat _ad nauseum_ I was going to write something snarky but it occurred to me that you just outed yourself as a Jerry Springer AND Rikki Lake watcher. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/137 "2004-05-12T13:06:29Z")
Oh, and just to be fair I figured I’d show [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=248579) to you all just to show that I used to be somewhat of a socially inept dork myself. That should give some of y’all a good chuckle at my expense. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/138 "2004-05-12T13:13:25Z")
> [@Sat on Cookie](#): > > I was going to write something snarky but it occurred to me that you just outed yourself as a Jerry Springer AND Rikki Lake watcher. Um, if you had been paying attention to _any_ of my posts, you’d know where I live. Neither are carried on any channels up here. I was going on what the format was 11 years ago in my old city and websites. Wait, why the hell am I explaining myself to you? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/139 "2004-05-12T13:14:31Z")
> [@xgxlx](#): > > Which, by the way, you can thank me for. > _waves around $200 check from [tshirthell.com](http://tshirthell.com)_ And now I must love you like I love the shirt. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sat\_on\_Cookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sat_on_Cookie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607/140 "2004-05-12T13:30:22Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > Um, if you had been paying attention to _any_ of my posts, you’d know where I live. Neither are carried on any channels up here. I was going on what the format was 11 years ago in my old city and websites. > > Wait, why the hell am I explaining myself to you? :smack: OK, you got me. I didn’t pay attention to any of your posts. I was busy recklessly responding to a single obnoxious reply from you out of left field. Sorry about that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convince-me-why-i-should-go-out-with-nerd-girl/244607.md?page=8)