# Convincing others you are really, really sick \[and not just malingering\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940 "2014-10-29T22:59:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/21 "2014-10-30T20:48:57Z")
I’m with **Learjeff**. I get 26 days of PTO per year. I’m very rarely sick, and if I am I can work from home. So that means five weeks of vacation per year. I take one every couple months. There are co-workers I have who really seem to be off more than they’re there. Or they’ll be “working from home” but not be logged into the system. I know it has no bearing on me, but it’s annoying when I make a real effort to be at work and on time every day. StG ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/22 "2014-10-30T21:01:25Z")
I like that I can email my boss and two co-workers. Don’t have to wait till 8, I can just be done with it and go back to bed. The powers that be where kicking around the idea of starting from scratch and giving everyone a certain amount of PTO. Nearly caused a riot ;). As it is, we have very generous vacation and sick leave. And the thing is, the sick leave that is accrued never goes away. I myself have over 600 hours, and I used a LOT last year when my father passed away. I can use sick leave for Dentist, Doctor, or even taking my mom to the Dr. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/23 "2014-10-30T21:43:00Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > Now I merely send an e-mail to my boss saying “Taking a sick day today”. I’ve never been asked for more details. This is all I want from my employees. Please don’t give me details. I do my boss the same courtesy. If it’s so significant that you feel the need to give me details, I’m happy to pass you along to HR as a potential FMLA issue. (though if someone is clearly abusing sick leave, I will absolutely call them out on it). ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/24 "2014-10-31T02:48:06Z")
That’s a good policy. The last several jobs I worked at my immediate supervisors were men. If I needed time off, all I had to say was something along the lines of “Umm… it’s … er… a female problem,” and they would almost literally run away with their fingers in their ears, saying “Lalalallalalalal I can’t hear you!” ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/25 "2014-10-31T02:58:50Z")
> [@Lsura](#): > > This is all I want from my employees. Please don’t give me details. I do my boss the same courtesy. If it’s so significant that you feel the need to give me details, I’m happy to pass you along to HR as a potential FMLA issue. > > (though if someone is clearly abusing sick leave, I will absolutely call them out on it). How do you know when someone is abusing sick leave? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/26 "2014-10-31T06:50:17Z")
> [@Banksiaman](#): > > I felt it necessary to include an example of the painful and annoying sounds I have been emitting. > > I then realised this is an area orthodox spelling has never tamed and creativity can still bloom. My best was ‘Urh, urh, hkerchchch, hkerchchch, … hkerch, gnrrur’. Make a noise that sounds something like > [@](#): > > I’m feeling really rundown and feverish since my weekend visit to West Africa. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/27 "2014-10-31T07:29:23Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > How do you know when someone is abusing sick leave? When I was a supervisor, you told them that if they called off through the pager service, instead of finding their own sub, they had to bring in a doctor’s note. And you knew they had pretty good health insurance, so you weren’t worried. After that chat, they stopped calling in sick through the pager entirely, and their call-offs with their own sub were reduced by about 60%, yet, no one noticed they were coming into work with symptoms of any illness. Basically, it puts a damper on whatever they planned to do that day, whether it was go to Earth Day, or sleep off a hang-over, if they have to spend time in a doctor’s waiting room. And a $5 copay is a gift when you are really sick, but no one wants to spend it for the privilege sitting in a waiting room for an hour on their “day off.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/28 "2014-10-31T09:45:51Z")
As mentioned, the ones who embellish during the call/email are the ones most likely abusing. “This is Mean Mr. Mustard, I’m going to be off sick today, thanks” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/29 "2014-10-31T10:16:13Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > How do you know when someone is abusing sick leave? Patterns of absence: Always out on Monday or Friday? Someone who tends to use vacation leave as soon as it accrues can lead to questions. Over 3 days out in a row requires a doctor note to return to work. I’m lucky: this is something that I rarely have do deal with. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/30 "2014-10-31T10:31:50Z")
On the other hand, a woman who is out on or around the same day every month is probably not abusing. She probably just gets the kind of cramps that don’t respond well to OTC meds. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/31 "2014-10-31T10:58:22Z")
When I call in sick, I have to assume it’s believable, because I do it so rarely. I think I’ve called in sick only two or three times over the past 18 years, when I was incapacitated with the flu. ---
**Author:** ![tellyworth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@tellyworth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tellyworth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/32 "2014-10-31T12:03:46Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > How do you know when someone is abusing sick leave? If paid sick days are limited, or lumped together with vacation time as PTO, you don’t have to. People will ration their own sick leave, or run out. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/33 "2014-10-31T12:07:23Z")
I’ve only missed a couple days in the past five years. One I did take off for was a kidney stone. I offered to show it to my boss when it finally came out, but he declined. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/34 "2014-10-31T19:14:23Z")
When I was growing up my parents, though they are absolutely wonderful people, never seemed to believe I was really sick when school was in unless I was puking non stop. Fast forward to adulthood. I used to get all paranoid whenever I called in sick to work. So when I called in I had the self added stress of wondering if my boss thought I was off screwing around instead of being at home sick. Then I thought about it a bit. I generally call in once a year. Maybe twice. I usually get sick in the spring and fall, with the fall being the worst. So I decided fuck it, if I am sick I am sick and worrying about what others think is stupid. My wife gets a little odd when I call in. She means well but does the ‘Your boss isn’t going to be upset?’ thing. We had a conversation which went “If I am sick I am sick, there is nothing I can do about it and my boss knows I do my job well.” So these days I just call in and don’t worry about it. I can work from home so if I am able I take care of things. Slee ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/35 "2014-10-31T19:23:20Z")
> [@Lsura](#): > > Patterns of absence: Always out on Monday or Friday? Someone who tends to use vacation leave as soon as it accrues can lead to questions. Over 3 days out in a row requires a doctor note to return to work. I had a boss once demand to know why 40% of my staffs’ leave time ocurred on a Monday or Friday. I answered “Perhaps because 40% of our work week occurs on a Monday or Friday”. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/36 "2014-10-31T21:30:32Z")
I just email my boss and a few key people with “I’m not feeling well and won’t be in today.” No extra info except for the time I had strep throat and wanted to give people a heads-up that I’d probably exposed all of them. I’m out sick maybe one or two days a year (knock on wood), and no one has ever said a thing about it besides asking if I’m feeling better when I come back. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/37 "2014-10-31T22:24:15Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > As mentioned, the ones who embellish during the call/email are the ones most likely abusing. > > “This is Mean Mr. Mustard, I’m going to be off sick today, thanks” > mmm Yep. Ironically, I remember one time I had to call in when my voice really was fucked up (Or non existant actually). That was the only time I ever felt self conscience about calling in because I knew the boss was going to think I was bullshiting him. /Shakes, who is no stranger to taking a “sickie”. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/38 "2014-10-31T22:27:19Z")
I had a boss not believe me the various times when I told her my back was out. Even when I had to drag myself to work and had to let her know I was there while propping myself against her doorway. Then she started having sciatica as well. That convinced her I wasn’t malingering. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/39 "2014-11-01T01:24:45Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I had a boss once demand to know why 40% of my staffs’ leave time ocurred on a Monday or Friday. I answered “Perhaps because 40% of our work week occurs on a Monday or Friday”. Is your boss pointy-haired? This was _exactly_ a Dilbert strip once. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940/40 "2014-11-01T03:17:10Z")
Once I proudly bragged to a co-worker that I had these little white pockets of pus on my throat. She snuck off to tell the boss and a few seconds later I was on my way home. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/convincing-others-you-are-really-really-sick-and-not-just-malingering/702940.md?page=3)