# Cook or Archuleta: an AI Doper Dollars Gambling Game **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [May 18, 2008, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740 "2008-05-18T09:56:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/1 "2008-05-18T09:56:24Z")
Las Vegas casinos and other agencies are taking bets on which David will win American Idol. Most favor Archuleta is the favorite, paying roughly 6:5 if I figure percentages correctly, and Cook even money at 1:1. Others vary, with Archuleta being the dark horse at a couple of casinos. So for Doper Idol fans, let’s place our bets in **Doper Dollars**. For those not familiar, Doper Dollars are redeemable either for fried carbohydrates and lodging at Uncle Cecil’s Big Wampum Motor Court once the planned Doperland theme parks in [Old Wives, Saskatchewan](http://ca.epodunk.com/profiles/saskatchewan/old-wives/2004746.html) and [Sugar Tit, South Carolina](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/8239) , become reality, or can be redeemed in the real world for a self administered pat on the body part of your choosing. So what odds do you give and or what bets do you offer? I’ll place DD$1000 on Cook at 1:1 odds and offer the remaining DD$4000 on Archuleta at 2:1 odds. Any takers? Feel free to take my action or make your own. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/2 "2008-05-18T15:17:36Z")
I’ll play DD$3000 on Cook at the 1:1 odds, with the remaining DD$1500 on Archuleta with 2:1 odds. Is it corrupt if I speed dial for Cook then? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/3 "2008-05-18T17:01:38Z")
Oh hell, I’ll put it all on Cook. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/4 "2008-05-18T17:04:04Z")
I would spend 4000 on Cook and hope I could lure Syesha into another line of work with the other thousand. If I fail I will put it on the boring teen. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/5 "2008-05-18T18:20:55Z")
I just want to say David Cook is one of the creepiest-looking people I have ever seen on tv. The guy looks like uncle pee-pee toucher x1000. I am shocked he has made it this far. I still cannot imagine him winning, even though I’ve been proven wrong every week he has not been kicked off. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/6 "2008-05-18T19:44:34Z")
I’m putting all of my money (DD$25) on Sanjaya. ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/7 "2008-05-18T21:13:11Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] I just want to say David Cook is one of the creepiest-looking people I have ever seen on tv. The guy looks like uncle pee-pee toucher x1000. I am shocked he has made it this far. I still cannot imagine him winning, even though I’ve been proven wrong every week he has not been kicked off. [/QUOTE] You must have some fine uncles… seriously I think hes the better of the two and deserves the win. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/8 "2008-05-18T23:04:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] Oh hell, I’ll put it all on Cook. [/QUOTE] So will I. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2008, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/9 "2008-05-19T00:47:14Z")
[QUOTE=Delly] You must have some fine uncles… seriously I think hes the better of the two and deserves the win. [/QUOTE] I didn’t mean _my_ uncle; I meant the archetypal child molestor. Would you really want to be alone in a room with someone looking at you like [this](http://www.onedollarbet.com/files/2008/04/david-cook.jpg)? Or smiling at you like [this](http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/what-a-cook_420x350.jpg)? The guy looks hungry. For sex. With children. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2008, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/10 "2008-05-19T05:11:12Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] I didn’t mean _my_ uncle; I meant the archetypal child molestor. Would you really want to be alone in a room with someone looking at you like [this](http://www.onedollarbet.com/files/2008/04/david-cook.jpg)? Or smiling at you like [this](http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/what-a-cook_420x350.jpg)? The guy looks hungry. For sex. With children. [/QUOTE] An interesting point. Perhaps he’ll sing “My Wicked Uncle Ernie” at the finale. Please excuse me for a moment… [To the security eunuchs] Discreetly remove Cisco from the other guests and do rude things to him for his insults to my future consort… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/11 "2008-05-19T14:35:35Z")
Cook in a walk. I’ll put all my DoperBucks, plus a real-life sawbuck on him. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/12 "2008-05-19T17:39:03Z")
I’ll put all my money on Cook. Even though I wish he wouldn’t win, if he could get a better record deal. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/13 "2008-05-19T21:03:36Z")
Cook is definitely the more talented and more capable and more diverse, but I just don’t know if, ultimately, he is electable. Archuleta has the all important tween vote, but he also has the Mormon, Hispanic, and Basque-American vote as well as the all important “middle aged parents who want a role model and singing star that not only can they themselves enjoy but who would never take their daughter’s virginity until they had been legally married for three years” vote, and with Sanjaya’s endorsement he’ll only get hotter. Cook is too much of an elitist, never going with the actual original arrangement of the song but with the come-lately reworking by a more “artsy” artist. Archuleta’s subtle reminders in songs that Cook is from the midwest, an area of the country where the KKK gained its strongest political power in the 20th century, has been masterful, as is the fact that not only does he look like he _would_ consummate a relationship with your sons and daughters but he’d leave them scarred, demented, and pregnant. Then the new policy of letting Randy and Paula be “Super Idol Judges” who can reapply 1/3 of the phone and 1/4 of the texting vote as they see fit may be a bad thing since Randy Jackson has daughters and Paula has been spurned by one non virginal Idol too many. So I’m upping the odds: Cook now pays 3:1 and Archuleta is even money. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2008, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/14 "2008-05-19T23:52:22Z")
I would like for Cook to lose so he will have a shot at a decent career. However I will place my bet for Cook to win. I’m all in. DD$5000 on Cook. ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cook-or-archuleta-an-ai-doper-dollars-gambling-game/449740/15 "2008-05-20T15:36:01Z")
OK, I’m in. I’ve been trying to decide where Syesha’s voters will go, but I’m going to give up and split my DD$ evenly between Cook and Archuleta. I will, of course, be voting for Cook.