# Cooking for a sex toy party **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 12, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731 "2004-05-12T04:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/41 "2004-05-13T03:54:42Z")
I’m sorry, but the idea of eating penis-shaped pasta has me totally skeeved. I’ve seen chocolate, well, vulvas in some store; on a stick even. Lolly-twat? I’m not sure what it’s called. Anyway, I like diving into the muff as much as anybody, but that sort of thing also gives me the skeeves. Eating genitalia in effigy just makes me kinda shudder. I propose you use some of the aforementioned dishes that, you know, _suggest_ sexual organs, rather than being graphic representations of them. Oysters and tacos, wieners and salamis - good poontang and tubesteak impersonators without being _too_ realistic. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/42 "2004-05-13T04:02:33Z")
Now, **BinaryDrone** , if the good Doctor were trying to impress one or more of the attending bachelorettes into not being a bachelorette, then your suggestion would certainly have merit. But seeing as the reason that he’s in this situation is that he’s already succeeded at said task, I’d say that the humor angle is appropriate. But if he absolutely must have patè, well, that can be molded into shape. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/43 "2004-05-13T15:50:43Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > I am going to suggest a departure from the general suggestions here. It may be that I have a genteel nature, but a lot of these suggestions seem rather, well, crass to me. > [@Binarydrone](#): > > For the main course, get a bunch of Snapper… Bwhaahaahaa! Mmmmm… snapper! ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/44 "2004-05-13T17:36:44Z")
Well, of course penis pasta salad and jello shooters is crass and inelegant **binarydrone**. We are, after all, a group of women who chase each other around the clinic with dead wildlife, tease each other about penis-extrusion skills, and harass one of the lesbians about the time she had carpet burn on her upper lip. Crass and inelegant suits us fine, especially on a night of getting drunk and buying sex toys. So far, our menu appears to consist of beer-can chicken (it’s dreadfully yummy, and the guest of honor is dying to try the recipe), roast corn on the cob, penis pasta salad, a tossed green salad, caramel-apple cheesecake (we luuuuuurrrrrves us some cheesecake), and booze. Lots of booze. We could use some more side dishes, and probably another dessert (a cheesecake or two will NOT hold this group for an entire evening). Simple recipes are better–this group is so domestically declined that **I** look like Martha frickin’ Stewart, and that’s just sad. (They’re impressed with my ability to put chopped romaine, red onion, cheese, almonds, and cranberries in a bowl, fercryinoutloud.) No fungus among us, please, and no asparagus. The former is just icky, and the latter tastes the way a liver failure dog’s pee smells. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/45 "2004-05-13T18:53:56Z")
What is beer can chicken? It seems that it should be totally obvious, but I can’t seem to figure it out. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/46 "2004-05-13T19:55:19Z")
amarinth: Take a chicken. Hold it neck up and tail down. Open a can of beer. Insert the can into the chicken’s cavity, so that you can set the can down and the chicken will “stand upright”. Place in oven. As the beer in the can boils, it marinates the chicken. Also, serves as the source of a lot of vulgar jokes. Back to the thread: A local chocolate shop used to sell molds for making “Dolly Partons”. Basically a chocolate-covered cherry, but with two cherrys. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/47 "2004-05-13T20:49:29Z")
I learned in a thread last week that a “fruit basket” isn’t quite as innocuous as I’d once believed. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/48 "2004-05-13T21:04:33Z")
I googled “Penis”, “mold”, and “Jell-O” and came up with the following. [http://www.bacheloretteparties.com/bacparplatan.html](http://www.bacheloretteparties.com/bacparplatan.html) Goodness! It seems that if it’s shaped like a dick, they have it! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/49 "2004-05-13T21:33:25Z")
I read the whole “Emily Post” posts to a co-worker, and he is now gasping for breath. What fun! [Martha Stewart voice] And for a added twist, melt some chocolate–both white and dark work, but melt them separately–and pour them into the penis-shaped ice cube molds to make an attractive, tasty food that also looks like a dick. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/50 "2004-05-14T03:04:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Take a chicken. Hold it neck up and tail down. Open a can of beer. Insert the can into the chicken’s cavity, so that you can set the can down and the chicken will “stand upright”. Place in oven. As the beer in the can boils, it marinates the chicken. Also, serves as the source of a lot of vulgar jokes. This is essentially correct, though I do it on the grill. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/51 "2004-05-14T03:22:08Z")
Y’all should be aware that at the sex toy parties I’ve been to, the presenter sells penis pasta, jello-dick molds and the like. And you don’t want to upstage. I recommend chocolate fondue. Alongside the bananas, strawberries, peaches and slices of pound cake, make a casual arrangement of paintbrushes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731/52 "2004-05-17T13:01:27Z")
If you’ve already ordered the penis-shaped cake, and decide to go “tasty and attractive,” you can turn it into a bunny by slicing it halfway down lengthwise, making bunny ears. I learned this on a episode of Friends from Ross. “Would it help if I scraped the baby’s face off the penis so you could put it on the bunny? God, that was a weird sentence.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cooking-for-a-sex-toy-party/244731.md?page=2)