# Coolest sci-fi weapons?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 20, 2004, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763 "2004-12-20T08:38:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/21 "2004-12-20T14:39:17Z")
I’m a huge fan of the weapons they have on that quirky game advertised for PlayStation 2 (I can’t remember the game’s name!). You know, the Sheepinator (that turns your enemies into sheep) and the Chicken gun. Those are hysterical.
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### Author:  [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/22 "2004-12-20T15:07:08Z")
I’ve always liked the 1920’s style death rays.
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### Author:  [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/23 "2004-12-20T16:01:24Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#):
>
> The Culture’s Lazyguns… when fired, they didn’t directly kill the target. Instead, they _caused something to happen_ to obliterate the target. Or, as described…
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > If you had aimed at a person, a spear might suddenly materialise and pierce them through the chest, or some snake’s spit fang might graze their neck, or a ship’s anchor might appear falling above them, crushing them, or two enormous switch-electrodes would leap briefly into being on either side of the hapless target and vaporise him or her.
> >
> > If you had aimed the gun at something larger, like a tank or a house, then it might implode, explode, collapse in a pile of dust, be struck by a section of a tidal wave or a lava flow, be turned inside out or just disappear entirely, with or without a bang.
> >
> > Increasing scale seemed to rob a Lazy Gun of its eccentric poesy; turn it on a city or a mountain and it tended simply to drop an appropriately sized nuclear or thermonuclear fireball onto it. The only known exception had been when what was believed to have been a comet nucleus had destroyed a city-sized berg-barge on the water world of Trontsephori.
> >
> > Rumour had it that some of the earlier Lazy Guns, at least, had shown what looked suspiciously like humour when they had been used; criminals saved from firing squads so that they could be the subjects of experiments had died under a hail of bullets, all hitting their hearts at the same time; an obsolete submarine had been straddled by depth charges; a mad king obsessed with metals had been smothered under a deluge of mercury.
> >
> > The braver physicists - those who didn’t try to deny the existence of Lazy Guns altogether - ventured that the weapons somehow accessed different dimensions; they monitored other continua and dipped into one to pluck out their chosen method of destruction and transfer it to this universe, where it carried out its destructive task then promptly disappeared, only its effects remaining. Or they created whatever they desired to create from the ground-state of quantum fluctuation that invested the fabric of space. Or they were time machines.
>
> I doubt any other weapon could have a description that tickles me so merrily…
Those would be _great_ in a game of Paranoia!
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/24 "2004-12-20T16:09:35Z")
[ul]
[li]The Weather Dominator (comes apart into 3 pieces for easy air shipment)[/li][li]The M.A.S.S. Device[/li][li]The Pyramid Of Darkness[/li][li]Battle Android Troopers[/li][li]HISS Tanks[/li][li]Rattler VTOL Ground Attack Aircraft.[/li][/ul]
COOBRRAAAAAAAAAA!!
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### Author:  [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/25 "2004-12-20T17:38:05Z")
a mech. is that a weapon? a car? a plane? a tape recorder?!
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### Author:  [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/26 "2004-12-20T17:58:28Z")
Space 1999 stun guns [here](http://www.space1999.net/~moonbase99/tech2.htm) were very cool.
The monomolecular whip and needle gun from “Johny Mnemonic”.
Darth Maul’s Light Saber, even though it is completely impractical.
Aliens sentry gun.
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### Author:  [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/27 "2004-12-20T18:13:00Z")
I’ll go with the powered suits from _Starship Troopers._
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### Author:  [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/28 "2004-12-20T18:38:45Z")
Samus’s ice beam from the Metroid series. Nothing quite like freezing your enemies and then using them as platforms to reach a power-up.
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### Author:  [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/29 "2004-12-20T18:48:57Z")
The Supernova Bomb from HHGTTG, it’s a _very small_ bomb that just might have the ability to destroy the universe
the talking bomb from Adams’ Starship Titanic video game, the one that sounds suspiciously like John Cleese and doesn’t like to be touched…
“i don’t like being touched, please stop, recommencing countdown”
after you touch it a few times it almost loses it…
\ Excuse me, but saying “please don’t touch me” does _NOT_ mean “okay, do it again!!” recommencing countdown…
and after you touch it one too many times…
LOOK, NO MEANS NO, GOT IT!! …recommencing countdown
another vote for John Crichton’s wormhole weapon, starts small but will grow to the point where it could engulf the universe
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/30 "2004-12-20T18:52:33Z")
> [@shijinn](#):
>
> a mech. is that a weapon? a car? a plane? a tape recorder?!
[THIS](http://www.monstersdirect.com/mas_assets/full/MADCAT.gif) is a Mech, short for BattleMech. The pilot rides in the head. king of the battlefield.
And [HERE](http://www.mektek.net/Madhouse/build%20a%20mech_part2_files/image025.jpg) are two guys with _too much_ free time. But very, _very_ cool ideas.
🙂
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### Author:  [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/31 "2004-12-20T19:01:05Z")
> [@MacTech](#):
>
> The Supernova Bomb from HHGTTG,
> the talking bomb from Adams’ Starship Titanic video game,
Well, hell, if you’re into talking bombs, watch _Dark Star_ sometime (John Carpenter’s first movie, before he got infatuated with vampires and shit). [link](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/6300251616/104-4667961-9339915?v=glance&vi=quotes-trivia).
> [@](#):
>
> \*Doolittle convinces the bomb not to explode.\*Doolittle: Hello, Bomb? Are you with me?
> Bomb #20: Of course.
> Doolittle: Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?
> Bomb #20: I am always receptive to suggestions.
> Doolittle: Fine. Think about this then. How do you know you exist?
> Bomb #20: Well, of course I exist.
> Doolittle: But how do you know you exist?
> Bomb #20: It is intuitively obvious.
> Doolittle: Intuition is no proof. What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?
> Bomb #20: Hmmmm… well… I think, therefore I am.
> Doolittle: That’s good. That’s very good. But how do you know that anything else exists?
> Bomb #20: My sensory apparatus reveals it to me. This is fun.
>
> _Pinback wants the bomb to disarm._
> Pinback: All right, bomb. Prepare to receive new orders.
> Bomb#20: You are false data.
> Pinback: Hmmm?
> Bomb #20: Therefore I shall ignore you.
> Pinback: Hello… bomb?
> Bomb #20: False data can act only as a distraction. Therefore, I shall refuse to perceive.
> Pinback: Hey, bomb?
> Bomb #20: The only thing that exists is myself.
> Pinback: Snap out of it, bomb.
>
> _making video diary entry_
>
> Bomb#20: Let there be light.
>
> _to the alien_
>
> Doolittle: Don’t give me any of that intelligent life crap, just give me something I can blow up
>
> Boiler: What’s Talby’s first name?
> _Pause_
> Lt. Doolittle: What’s my first name?
>
> Lt. Doolittle: The bomb must have gone off inside the ship
> Talby: The ship blew up? What?
> Lt. Doolittle: Funny, I thought I had the damned thing convinced.
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/32 "2004-12-20T19:19:17Z")
If we’re talking video games, I’ll nominate the BFG 9000 from the original **Doom.** Intimidating size, neat effect, massively destructive, kewl sounds, and a really fun name, all in one package.
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor]
[li]Battle Android Troopers[/li][/quote]
Only the [first version](http://www.yojoe.com/action/86/bat.shtml) for me – the later ones all look like ass.
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### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/33 "2004-12-20T19:35:08Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#):
>
> There’s the “Dr. Device” from Ender’s Game. It was formally called the D-R Device, although I can’t remember what the letters stand for. It worked by suppressing the forces binding atoms together on a large scale, large enough to destroy planets.
IIRC it was “Molecular Disruption Device” = “MD Device” = “Dr Device.”
And it wasn’t the scale exactly, it was a chain reaction, so you can use it on anything which gets close enough together. Interesting tactics.
I don’t think anyone ever considered what’d happen if you aimed it at a sun, but perhaps you couldn’t get close enough, or perhaps it wouldn’t have any effect as the sun is _already_ a fusion explosion.
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### Author:  [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/34 "2004-12-20T19:46:33Z")
More of a defensive countermeasure than a weapon but:
> **[Somebody else's problem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SEP_field)**
>
> "Somebody else's problem" or "someone else's problem" is an issue which is dismissed by a person on the grounds that they consider somebody else to be responsible for it, or that it is "out of scope" in a particular context.\[failed verification\]
> Douglas Adams' 1982 novel Life, the Universe and Everything (in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy comedy science fiction series) introduces the idea of an "SEP field" as a kind of cloaking device. The character Ford Prefect says,
> An SEP is something ...
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### Author:  [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/35 "2004-12-20T19:58:58Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#):
>
> There’s the “Dr. Device” from Ender’s Game. It was formally called the D-R Device, although I can’t remember what the letters stand for. It worked by suppressing the forces binding atoms together on a large scale, large enough to destroy planets.
> [@Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card](#):
>
> “Then we aren’t using the nuclear missles from the First and Second Invasions?”
> “Dr. Device is much more powerful. Nuclear weapons, after all, were weak enough to be used on Earth at one time. The Little Doctor could never be used on a planet. Still, I wish I’d had on during the second invasion.”
> “How does it work?”
> “I don’t know, not well enough to build one. At the focal point of two beams, it sets up a field in which the molecules can’t hold together anymore. Electrons can’t be shared. How much physics do you know, at that level?”
> “We spent most of our time on astrophysics, but I know enough to get the idea.”
> “The field spreads out in a sphere, but it gets weaker the further it spreads. Except where it actually runs into a lot of molecules, it gets stronger and starts over. The bigger the ship, the stronger the new field.”
> “So each time the field hits a ship, it sends out a new sphere–”
> “And if their ships are too close together, it can set up a chain that wipes them all out. Then the field dies down, the molecules come back together, and where you had a ship, you now have a lump of dirt with a lot of iron molecules in it. No radioactivity, no mess. Just dirt. We may be able to trap them close together on the first battle, but they learn fast. They’ll keep their distance from each other.”
> “So Dr. Device isn’t a missle-- I can’t shoot around corners.”
> “That’s right. Missles wouldn’t do any good now. We learned a lot from them in the First Invasion, but they also learned from us-- how to set up the Ecstatic Shield, for instance.”
> “The Little Doctor penetrates the shield?”
> “As if it weren’t there. You can’t _see_ through the shield to aim and focus the beams, but since the generator of the Ecstatic Shield is always in the exact center, it isn’t hard to figure it out.”
> “Why haven’t I ever been trained with this?”
> “You always have. We just let the computer tend to it for you. Your job is to get into a superior strategic position and choose a target. The shipboard computers are much better at aiming the Doctor than you are.”
> “Why is it called Dr. Device?”
> “When it was developed, it was called a Molecular Detachment Device. M.D. Device.”
> Ender still didn’t understand.
> “M.D. The initials stand for Medical Doctor, too. M.D. Device, therefore Dr. Device. It was a joke.” Ender didn’t see what was funny about it.
* * *
I’m going to have to vote for exosketeton armor, though.
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### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/36 "2004-12-20T20:03:32Z")
Yeah, much better than my answer 🙂 The annoying thing is that by the third or fourth book it _was_ a missle. But I forgive them because of the exchange after they abort a launch:
I’m glad to see you didn’t have any of that nonsense about pressing the buttons in the right order to turn it off…
No, it’s easy. There’s instructions on how to do it all over the thing. Now, turning it on, that’s hard.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/37 "2004-12-20T20:13:48Z")
> [@SPOOFE](#):
>
> The Culture’s Lazyguns…
Never heard of The Culture – what book, movie, comic or whatever is it from?
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/38 "2004-12-20T20:15:50Z")
Nitpicks: 1) the Lazy Guns are from _Against a Dark Background_, which isn’t a Culture novel … the Culture goes in for more pedestrian devices, like gridfire, intelligent knife missiles, electromagnetic effectors, and people who suddenly disassemble themselves into clouds of killer nanobots.
1. The guy who winds up inside his own lunchbox is in “Terror of the Autons”.
As for weapons … I want one of the Xeelee devices from the Stephen Baxter stories. Fired at a sun, it destabilizes it, rendering any habitable planets around it pretty much uninhabitable. What’s particularly cool about this particular device? It’s a _handgun_ …
Though for close-quarter fighting, and a great ominous hum, I’d have to go for a BH-209i plasma cannon.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/39 "2004-12-20T20:37:58Z")
All the Klingon blade weapons seem totally impractical to me. If the batleth were a practical weapon for humanoids, wouldn’t some human culture have invented something in roughly that shape by now? And that knife with short spring-loaded prongs on each side – what good is that? The prongs would just dissipate the force of the main blade’s thrust – and maybe make it harder to draw the knife back out. But they all **look** totally cool, which I guess is the point.
If we’re going by visual coolness, I remember some old SF movie or Japanese monster movie – or maybe it was some schlocky TV show like _Ultraman_ – with a weapon that emitted a series of light-rings, like angels’ haloes. That looked, you know, weird and otherwordly.
In _Logan’s Run_ (the book, not the movie or TV series), the Sandmen used a kind of handgun with six specialized rounds – one shot a wire-net that tangled up the target, one shot fire, the “Homer” was a missile that targeted body heat, and so on. In retrospect it seems too contrived and gimmicky, but it seemed really cool when I read the book as a teenager.
Slight hijack: What the fuck is the point of a _Star Wars_ lightsaber? I can see the Klingons fighting with batleths, just as people now practice fencing and kendo, as a cultural holdover from pre-firearms times. But, in a civilization that has the technology to make a lightsaber, why would anybody invent one? Swords became obsolete on Earth because firearms have so many advantages over them, including longer range, and ease of use with minimal training. And an ordinary lead-slug-throwing rifle or pistol, let alone a blaster, is superior in exactly the same respects to a caged-laser-beam (or whatever it is) weapon with a range of, at most, three feet.
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### Author:  [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/40 "2004-12-20T20:51:02Z")
I second Dr. Device from Ender’s Game. However, it was not originally D-R device. It was originally M D Device. M D stood for molecular disassociation.
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