# Coolest sci-fi weapons?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 20, 2004, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763 "2004-12-20T08:38:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/81 "2004-12-22T05:12:44Z")
Oooh! I’ve got it!
The nude bomb from the Get Smart movie.
Best. Weapon. Ever.
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### Author:  [@Trailer\_Park\_Casanova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trailer_Park_Casanova)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/82 "2004-12-22T05:13:58Z")
flame throwers still are the best in any ol sci fi movie.
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/83 "2004-12-22T08:00:53Z")
I dimly remember an old Judge Dredd villain called Madtooth who had his teeth rigged with explosive charges so when he bared his fangs, so to speak, he could shoot people with them - hardly ultimate, but kind of fun: course, Dredd just shot him.
Oh, and there was the Fletcher from **Neuromancer** , which fired explosive flechette darts: non-lethal on penetration, but they detonated ten seconds later - so, as Molly put it, “You get to think about it.”
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### Author:  [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/84 "2004-12-22T09:49:38Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#):
>
> Ooh! Another Trek weapon.
>
> Annorax’s weapon that erased civilizations from time. This was in a few Voyager episodes. It literally erased species from history.
>
> Thats a cool weapon.
Just don’t point it at any comets or else you’ll erase your wife.
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### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/85 "2004-12-22T13:17:45Z")
Two words: **Shark Gun**
from Armed and Dangerous (a quasi-sci-fi game), it was a gun that shot shak rounds, which swam through the ground and then bit your enemies to peices for you.
> [@](#):
>
> If the batleth were a practical weapon for humanoids, wouldn’t some human culture have invented something in roughly that shape by now?
Yep. And they didn’t. Of course, it may have been designed as a ritual weapon first. There’s still no reason why they should get it out in every fight.
> [@](#):
>
> Slight hijack: What the fuck is the point of a Star Wars lightsaber? I can see the Klingons fighting with batleths, just as people now practice fencing and kendo, as a cultural holdover from pre-firearms times. But, in a civilization that has the technology to make a lightsaber, why would anybody invent one? Swords became obsolete on Earth because firearms have so many advantages over them, including longer range, and ease of use with minimal training. And an ordinary lead-slug-throwing rifle or pistol, let alone a blaster, is superior in exactly the same respects to a caged-laser-beam (or whatever it is) weapon with a range of, at most, three feet.
In practical terms your right. The Jedi get to have magic powers, though.
> [@](#):
>
> And the most important point: it just looks damn cool! The silliest thing about light-sabers IMHO was \Knights of the Old Republic\'s revealation that everyone and their brother owned a melee weapon that could stand up to light-sabers. Necessary for game balance? Possibly. Still lame.
They _may_ have that fixed in KotOR 2, since attacking chests with weaponry often turns stuff in it to spare parts. I’m not sure. It was funny that a Tusken raider’s gaffi stick could stand up to lihtsabers, though.
> [@](#):
>
> The thing about lightsabers is, they are much more an extension of the user than practically any other weapon. A Jedi with a lightsaber is whirling death, but some shmoe with a lightsaber will quickly slice himself into seared chunks of meat.
People in SW say this a lot, but the lightsaber was not originaly a Jedi-only weapon. It dates back to days when people didn’t like using guns or blasters on ships; they kept inventing better melee weapons instead. The Jedi are simply the only ones who still use them.
Besides, I’m sure I can, if I wish, use a flashlight without shining the light directly on me. All I have to do is thrust the thing at the enemy and wave.
> [@](#):
>
> Like hell. The guy with the blaster would never come close to even touching a Jedi. Lightsabers can parry blaster bolts, and a talented enough Jedi can bounce them right back where they came from. A stormtrooper could get off maybe three shots before his first shot came back and pegged him 'tween the eyes.
Although good marksmen can bring down Jedi. Jango might well have killed Mace Windu if the jetpack didn’t break. He also killed at least one other Jedi quite handily.
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/86 "2004-12-22T13:19:09Z")
> [@Zebra](#):
>
> For me the coolest weapons are the phaser from TOS, the light saber, and that gun from the movie Looker that made hot chicks freeze.
**Zebra** , you read my mind!
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/87 "2004-12-22T15:56:22Z")
1. Another vote for the DS Gun (the Sandmen’s hand weapon from the book version of _Logan’s Run_). Each gun was coded to its user; anyone not recognized by the handgrip would likely get his arm blown off if he tried to use the thing.
Furthermore, it had six separate charges:
1. Vapor (either CS or sleep gas, not sure which)
2. Tangler (enmeshed the target in a monofilament web removable only by police with special equipment)
3. Ripper (not sure what this was, but tended to dice the target chunky style)
4. Nitro (explosive charge, useful when you need an exit, NOW)
5. Needler (standard projectile charge)
6. Homer (heat-seeking gyrojet-type charge with a white phosphorous explosive tip; it’d chase you in circles or around corners, and then you’d be toast, literally).
The downside of the Sandmen’s Guns were that when your palmflower went black, they’d begin howling an awful racket, to alert the populace that a Sandman had gone Runner…
1. I rather liked the 1920’s style death rays used by the brainskulled Martians in Tim Burton’s underrated _Mars Attacks_! These colorful weapons came in pistol and rifle versions, and fired standard flesh-disintegrating death rays, which left humans as brightly colored skeletons (red or green, depending on the color of the beam), and caused explosions when fired at inanimate objects. Handy, lethal, attractive, and left a very colorful battlefield! Downside: not very versatile, and apparently had no other setting than “Kill.”
2. The Ringworld Meteor Defense System. Basically, it used a gravity polarizer to warp the sun’s gravitational field into lenses, then aligned the lenses in such a way as to magnify solar energy into a laser beam big enough to assassinate God. Only drawback is the sheer scale of the thing, and the fact that the beam is limited to the speed of light…
3. The Jedi Lightsaber is a weapon requiring a great deal of skill and training to use; I suspect it requires no small sensitivity to the Force to be able to handle one very well. Its advantages over a blaster include the fact that you can’t swat your enemy’s blaster bolts away with a blaster, and it’s considerably more versatile. Depending on which fanfiction you read, it’s also way more energy-efficient. It’s a defensive weapon, not offensive, which suits the philosophy of the wielders.
If you want to start a party at a distance, turn the thing off, hook it on your belt, and get a grenade launcher. Simple, no?
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/88 "2004-12-22T16:41:34Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#):
>
> 1. The Jedi Lightsaber is a weapon requiring a great deal of skill and training to use; I suspect it requires no small sensitivity to the Force to be able to handle one very well. Its advantages over a blaster include the fact that you can’t swat your enemy’s blaster bolts away with a blaster, and it’s considerably more versatile. Depending on which fanfiction you read, it’s also way more energy-efficient. It’s a defensive weapon, not offensive, which suits the philosophy of the wielders.
>
> If you want to start a party at a distance, turn the thing off, hook it on your belt, and get a grenade launcher. Simple, no?
I dunno. I’d be a little leery about lobbing exlosives at a guy with telekinesis.
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### Author:  [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/89 "2004-12-22T17:36:03Z")
> [@smiling bandit](#):
>
> … Besides, I’m sure I can, if I wish, use a flashlight without shining the light directly on me. All I have to do is thrust the thing at the enemy and wave. …
exactly! what’s with the considerate straight in straight out thing that darth maul did on quite gone case? i would have thrusted the sabre in and scribbled. 😃
were i a Jedi, i’ll spend some serious time mastering telekinesis to offensively control a flung lightsabre.
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### Author:  [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/90 "2004-12-22T17:54:27Z")
Another vote for the Wave Motion Gun.
I do have a soft spot for Wunderland’s answer to the Slaver disintergrater…
As the rat-cat Kzin learned…
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/91 "2004-12-22T18:25:25Z")
Ifnn y’all are aa huntin’ them thar Jed-eye, y’all need a shotgun.
Think about it. 😉😃
BTW–this means that Jed Clampett & Uncle Jesse Duke could whip the tar outta Obi-Wan & Yoda.
Obviously. 😃
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### Author:  [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/92 "2004-12-22T18:37:00Z")
I’ve always wanted a force lance (from **Andromeda** )
You can shoot people with it, you can key it to only your DNA and if all else fails you can use it as a big stick to hit people with.
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### Author:  [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/93 "2004-12-22T20:36:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> by Master Wang-Ka
> 6. Homer (heat-seeking gyrojet-type charge with a white phosphorous explosive tip; it’d chase you in circles or around corners, and then you’d be toast, literally).
Minor nitpick:
> [@](#):
>
> “What gets me is the way it _finds_ a runner. The way it homes in on the body heat. They say it burns out your whole nervous system. Every nerve in your body.”
> [@](#):
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> _And the last thing she felt was raw, blinding agony, as the homer struck burned ,ripped, and unraveled her._
I have to admit that the Gun (from the book \*Logan’s Run \* ) was a much more interesting device. On the other hand, the Weapon (from the movie \*Logan’s Run \* ) looked really cool when it was fired.
> [@](#):
>
> by Tangent
> The nude bomb from the Get Smart movie.
>
> Best. Weapon. Ever.
Runner-up. The best ever was the Sex Ray Machine from _Flesh Gordon_. Shoot it at a crowd, and an orgy breaks out.
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### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/94 "2004-12-22T20:49:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> It’s a defensive weapon, not offensive, which suits the philosophy of the wielders.
> [@](#):
>
> If you want to start a party at a distance, turn the thing off, hook it on your belt, and get a grenade launcher. Simple, no?
I actually thought about writing a story called “Jedi Hunter”, about a soldier in a special squad of (non-clone) grunts wiping out the Jedi with Darth. In short, threy used special armor and a variety of weapons to screw with the Jedi, including flamers, acid sprayers (very nasty!) and fast-acting toxic grenades. Jedi often tossed the acid grenades and toxics back, but they had a wide dispersal and could main or kill the Jedi before he had a chance to react. In other words, the toxics had a very advanced nerve gas. The acid was intended to blind and burn the Jedi, and all the force skill won’t help much with that kind of firepower.
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/95 "2004-12-22T21:59:45Z")
I’ve always wondered if the Jedi didn’t just fort up against Darth’s purge, and if not, why they didn’t. A ton of Jedi in one place with Obi Wan, Mace Windu, Yoda, and other super-powerful “enlightened” Force wielders there as well could probably have detected and destroyed/repelled anything coming at them from any direction, at any practical distance.
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### Author:  [@Mini-Thud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mini-Thud)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/96 "2004-12-22T22:10:44Z")
> [@shijinn](#):
>
> exactly! what’s with the considerate straight in straight out thing that darth maul did on quite gone case? i would have thrusted the sabre in and scribbled. 😃
Hah! I thought the same thing. That would have done some terrible damage. Mushy.
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/97 "2004-12-22T22:17:31Z")
> [@Ogre](#):
>
> I’ve always wondered if the Jedi didn’t just fort up against Darth’s purge, and if not, why they didn’t. A ton of Jedi in one place with Obi Wan, Mace Windu, Yoda, and other super-powerful “enlightened” Force wielders there as well could probably have detected and destroyed/repelled anything coming at them from any direction, at any practical distance.
3 words: “Sustained Orbital Bombardment”.
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### Author:  [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)
#### Post date: [December 22, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/98 "2004-12-22T22:53:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’ve always wondered if the Jedi didn’t just fort up against Darth’s purge, and if not, why they didn’t. A ton of Jedi in one place with Obi Wan, Mace Windu, Yoda, and other super-powerful “enlightened” Force wielders there as well could probably have detected and destroyed/repelled anything coming at them from any direction, at any practical distance.
> [@](#):
>
> 3 words: “Sustained Orbital Bombardment”.
According to an unholy, inhuman force of nature and bad writing, like Cthulhu’s bastard stepson, Kevin J. Anderson had several minor Jedi with a few weeks training “combine their powers” and managed to disable the engine on four SD’s and toss them several light years away. Instantaneously.
Oh god, that was a horrible book. It’s not so much that his writing itself is bad, but that he’s no idea what the hell he’s talking about.
Still, he’s not as bad as that damned hack who made up some “Sith Talisman” that any punk Jedi could use to blow up stars on demand. Yes, the ultimate superweapon angle worked in the movie. Did every fnargin author thereafter _have_ to go try and top it?
Frankly, given what some of the books said, the Jedi were basically gods on the earth. Its like that stupid clone wars Tv series (it wa a good show, but there’s one thing:) where Mace Windu takes on the army of battledroids and beats them up with his fists.
Guys, if the Jedi were that strong Palpatine wouldn’t have bothered with the Death Star.
Although according to the old pnp RPG, the emperor didn’t actually need to crush planets. He could do it with the force. And Vader could actually tos the damned DS around, so it didn’t really need hyperdrives. Hmmm…
maybe that was why the Emperor was on the DS2 with the giant chasm? So he could shoot the big beam out at the enemy himelf?
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/99 "2004-12-23T00:39:10Z")
In S.M. Stirling’s novel _Drakon,_ Gwendolyn Ingolfsson – a genetically-enhanced warrior from the Draka master-race, who has been been transported (by a “molehole” or wormhole experiment gone wrong) from her own version of Draka-ruled Earth in the 25th Century to our own (or a very similar) Earth in the late 20th Century – carries a “plasma gun” and a “layer knife.” These are the equivalent of “ordinary walking dress” for a Draka. The plasma gun is a kind of blaster, nothing groundbreaking there. The “layer knife” is more interesting – the design is based on the big machete or “bushknife” 19th-Century Draka soldiers carried when they were conquering and enslaving the Africans, but the blade is made of some space-age synthetic material that allows it to hold its shape while being no more than a few molecules in thickness. This makes it as sharp as the “variable sword” from Larry Niven’s _Ringworld,_ and without requiring the assumption of Thrintun stasis-field technology.
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### Author:  [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)
#### Post date: [December 23, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-sci-fi-weapons/280763/100 "2004-12-23T01:42:33Z")
Tsk, tsk, tsk. I’m ashamed of the lot of you people who claim to be SF fans. Al this talk about cool SF weapons and no mention of
[The Weapon Shops of Isher?](http://members.aol.com/sfandfbookclub/weapon_shops_of_isher.htm)
It was basically a pro-gun polemic, but it did describe some very cool weapons that were advanced for its day – he was ahead of all the others here in describing guns that could be used only by their owners.
Also, the inhabitants of Harry Harrison’s Deathworld series had some very cool handguns that allowed lightning-fast firing because they could draw themselves.
And there are some cool weapons in John Barnes’ Timeline Wars series (Washington’s Dirigible, etc.) most notably (to me) the rifle with a nanoassembler built into it’s stock for ammo. When you ran out of ammo you just grabbed some dirt and shoved it into the stock and it rendered the dirt into its constutuent elements and custom-built ammo from it. Quite rapidly, too. There was also a nasty powered flechette weapon – the flechette didn’t just enter its victim, once there it continued moving, rotating in a spiral pattern, rendering its victim thoroughly dead.
And CURSE YOU for already thinking of the Lazy Gun. It’s hands-down the coolest weapon … after Zakalwe himself in Use of Weapons.
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