# Coolest units of measurement **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2013, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542 "2013-06-21T06:35:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/41 "2013-06-22T00:02:43Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > I like “furlongs per fortnight”. Mostly because of the alliteration. Other than that, it’s probably a useless unit of velocity unless maybe if you’re talking about the growth cycle of some sort of creeping vine or slug racing. You forgot the firkin. In the fff system of measurement, the firkin is the mass of one firkin of water. A firkin is 90 pounds (Yes I realize pounds don’t measure mass, but I didn’t make this up. > **[FFF system](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FFF_system)** > > The furlong–firkin–fortnight (FFF) system is a humorous system of units based on unusual or impractical measurements. The length unit of the system is the furlong, the mass unit is the mass of a firkin of water, and the time unit is the fortnight. Like the SI or metre–kilogram–second systems, there are derived units for velocity, volume, mass and weight, etc. It is sometimes referred to as the FFFF system where the fourth 'F' is degrees Fahrenheit for temperature. > While the FFF system is not use... ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/42 "2013-06-22T00:20:32Z")
Stilb and cunt hair, stolen by you guys above. And of course “40 rods to the hogshead” that cars used to run on, which was the style at the time. Nit. It’s not really used anymore and “deprecated”, everyone calls it “candelas per squared meter.” Or just “candelas,” if the disambiguation is clear and no pedants are listening in. My favorite is from _Moby Dick_, Ch. 95: “longer than a **Kentuckian** is tall, nigh a foot in diameter at the base, and jet-black as Yojo, the ebony idol of Queequeg” > [@Slypork](#): > > Sorry, but according to [Wookieepedia](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kessel_Run): It seems to me that measures like, at least sixteen fanwankeries. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/43 "2013-06-22T00:26:06Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > [Smoot.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot) The smoot is a unit of length created by a bunch of (probably drunk) MIT students in 1958. The unit is named after George Smoot, and was used to measure the lenght of the Harvard Bridge. Penny: Oh, my God, _the_ George Smoot? Leonard: You’ve heard of him? Penny: Of course I haven’t. Sheldon: George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning physicist, one of the great minds of our time. His work in black body form and anisotropy of the cosmic microwave background radiation cemented our understanding of the origin of the universe. Penny: It’s kind of a funny name, though, Smoot. Sheldon: It’s like talking to a chimp. I also like furlongs per fortnight (downthread) as well as rods per hogshead (Simpsons). I also enjoy [abusing Google](https://www.google.com/search?q=55+mph+in+furlongs+per+fortnight) with these [arcane units](https://www.google.com/search?q=55+mph+in+furlongs+per+fortnight#sclient=psy-ab&q=40+mpg+in+rods+per+hogshead&oq=40+mpg+in+rods+per+hogshead&gs_l=serp.3..0i22i30.43890.51977.0.52105.27.26.0.1.1.0.725.6600.0j9j10j4j0j1j1.25.0...0.0...1c.1.17.psy-ab.egee3Fq-VDI&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.48293060,d.aWM&fp=32d9dadc7490f41c&biw=1374&bih=929). ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/44 "2013-06-22T00:46:41Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > hogshead Huh. An interesting one, the [hogshead](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogshead). Apparently, it’s a corruption of “oxhead”, which was in common use in Scandinavia. According to the [Norwegian Wikipedia](http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oksehode), one oxhead was the equivalent of 1,5 ames, 2 barrels, 6 anchors, or 240 pots. Clicking on from there, an [ame](http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ame) also equates to 1/3 of a boat or 60 jugs, in addition to the aforementioned anchors and pots. A [jug](http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanne) is also equivalent to 2 stops or 32 virgins. All links in Norwegian, unfortunately, so you’ll have to take my word for it. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/45 "2013-06-22T00:51:07Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > When I lived out in Utah there was a newspaper column complaining about this practice, which it blamed on Folks Back East. It said something along the lines of “People always compare thingsto the size of Rhode Island, which gets Western folk upset because the fire/iceberg/meteor/whatever is the size of an Entire State. What they forget is that there are _counties_ in the Intermountain West bigger than the “state” pf Rhode Island, so this is causing unnecessary worrying.” Now that I live back in the Northeast, nobody mentions this. We get this all the time from the big states like Texas and Delaware. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/46 "2013-06-22T00:52:31Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > My red-headed fiancee assure me that red hair is the thickest the three standard hair colors. I am not a fool and have no desire to gainsay her on this. She says she has empirical data to support her assertion. I believe an experimentation phase should be done by another scientist, namely me. I will report after this weekend. I’ll have to take your word for it; not my area of expertise. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/47 "2013-06-22T00:55:23Z")
I like the millihelen, which is beauty sufficient to launch one ship. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/48 "2013-06-22T01:10:55Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And speaking of hairs, there was the _ **RCH** _, or “red cunt hair,” supposedly the smallest distance perceivable. I guess this would be thicker than ‘the skin of your teeth,’ although in theory I suppose it could go either way. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/49 "2013-06-22T02:41:44Z")
I was in a meeting once at my old job where people were rating various problems by the number of PhD’s it would take to solve them. So we had a 3 PhD problem, and a few 2 PhD problems. ---
**Author:** ![snowmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@snowmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowmaster)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/50 "2013-06-22T03:15:43Z")
A metric fuckton, which is a none-too-precisely defined unit of a ridiculously large quantity of something or other. ---
**Author:** ![Shamozzle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shamozzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shamozzle)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/51 "2013-06-22T04:20:46Z")
The coolest unit of all is the [MegaFonzie](http://theinfosphere.org/Mega_Fonzies). Clearly. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/52 "2013-06-22T04:21:59Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > Penny: Oh, my God, _the_ George Smoot? > Leonard: You’ve heard of him? > Penny: Of course I haven’t. > Sheldon: George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning physicist, one of the great minds of our time. His work in black body form and anisotropy of the cosmic microwave background radiation cemented our understanding of the origin of the universe. > Penny: It’s kind of a funny name, though, Smoot. > Sheldon: It’s like talking to a chimp. I hadn’t even noticed that the OP got the wrong Smoot. The unit of measure is based on Oliver Smoot, George Smoot is his cousin, and (as I mentioned in a previous post) quite accomplished in his own right. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/53 "2013-06-22T04:37:07Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > _Scosh_ or _skosh_ is a unit that GIs returning from Japan brought back with them. It’s from Japanese _sukoshi_, meaning “a little bit” > > [SKOSH Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/skosh) > > I had to explain what “RCH” meant to my boss a couple of months ago. Acording to _Playboy_, the more letters you add, the smaller the unit, as in RBCH for “Red or Black” or RBBCH for “Red, Black, or Blonde”. Sorry Cal, but in practice you are wrong. The largest cunt hair is the black one, the middle sized on is the red, and the finest unit of cunt hair measurement is the blonde one. Actual true life example of this unit of measure in use: I was working construction in 1970, helping build a hospital. 4 of us (with the aid of a crane) are setting a 40’ long 12’ high wall form in place. The object is to have the crane set the form almost in place and then using a sledge move it into final position. Form gets set we holler down to the other end “How’s it look?” “Bring it to me a cunt hair” Not quite sure how much it has to move we yell back “What kind” “A big black one” Wham! goes the sledge “Hows that?” “Again, this time a red one” Wham! “How about now?” “Just a blonde one” Wham! “Perfect” Back in the day the Playboy Adviser fielded a question about the upcoming Apollo-Soyuz space missions, measurement units, and would they use a cunt hair. IIRC Playboy was of the opinion that if during docking an American astronaut said “Move a cunt hair to the left Ivan” the Russians would automatically know what to do. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/54 "2013-06-22T04:39:28Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I hadn’t even noticed that the OP got the wrong Smoot. The unit of measure is based on Oliver Smoot, George Smoot is his cousin, and (as I mentioned in a previous post) quite accomplished in his own right. Hah! I learned something today. Ignorance fought. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/55 "2013-06-22T04:48:34Z")
Evolutionary biologist [Leigh Van Valen](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leigh_Van_Valen) defined the “macarthur” as the unit of taxonomic extinction: ma = 721.3(log S[sub]1[/sub] - log S[sub]2[/sub]/∆_t_ log _e_) The unit is named after Robert MacArthur, co-author of _The Theory of Island Biogeography_, who according to Van Valen discovered extinction for ecologists. Van Valen himself was notorious for publishing extremely short papers, which gave rise to the unit called “van valen,” which was the smallest publishable unit of data. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/56 "2013-06-22T05:11:39Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > I was in a meeting once at my old job where people were rating various problems by the number of PhD’s it would take to solve them. So we had a 3 PhD problem, and a few 2 PhD problems. So… a 3 PhD problem is so easy it’s stupid, because it took 3 PhDs for a guy to figure out that getting PhDs sucks? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/57 "2013-06-22T05:19:59Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > I like “furlongs per fortnight”. Mostly because of the alliteration. Other than that, it’s probably a useless unit of velocity unless maybe if you’re talking about the growth cycle of some sort of creeping vine or slug racing. Interestingly, one furlong per fortnight is almost exactly equal to one centimeter per minute. (The exact figure is 0.9979 cm/min.) ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/58 "2013-06-22T06:54:08Z")
I’ve always like the Mho, which is the unit of conductivity - yes, the inverse of the Ohm. > [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Another one that I’ve often found useful in daily life is the **millihelen** , which is the quantity of beauty needed to launch one ship. > [@Napier](#): > > I like the millihelen, which is beauty sufficient to launch one ship. Never neglect the far more useful _negative_ millihelen, which is the quantity of ugliness necessary to sink one ship. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/59 "2013-06-22T07:24:43Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Interestingly, one furlong per fortnight is almost exactly equal to one centimeter per minute. (The exact figure is 0.9979 cm/min.) Yes, but if you take into consideration the coolness factor from the alliteration, cm/min is about 0.047uFonzie and F/f is about 22 DecaFonzies. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/60 "2013-06-22T09:19:38Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I hadn’t even noticed that the OP got the wrong Smoot. The unit of measure is based on Oliver Smoot, George Smoot is his cousin, and (as I mentioned in a previous post) quite accomplished in his own right. :eek:I don’t how I managed to get that wrong! It’s even right in the link. I need to copy and paste shit more and type less stuff out manually! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542.md?page=4)