# Coolest units of measurement **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2013, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542 "2013-06-21T06:35:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/61 "2013-06-22T10:16:21Z")
> [@JoseB](#): > > ARROBA (whose abbreviation/symbol, btw, was “@”) – a unit of weight that was used specifically for livestock – most often for pigs. It ended up being defined as 25 Castilian Pounds (or, in metric units, roughly 11.5 kg), but originally it was 1/4 of a quintal, the quintal being defined as “the load that a donkey or a mule could carry” (the word comes from the Arabic “ar-rub”). Which many people confuse with the Robada (a unit of land measurement). BTW, the change in unit value is for historical reasons: the measurements were set by local authorities, so changes aren’t by region but by domain (Kingdom or County, those being the two levels at which we had realms that were independent at some point between 711 and 1841). Names equivalent to the English-language pound, inch or foot were used throughout Europe and lands beyond, but had different values in each realm. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/62 "2013-06-22T11:40:19Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Sorry Cal, but in practice you are wrong. The largest cunt hair is the black one, the middle sized on is the red, and the finest unit of cunt hair measurement is the blonde one. > Actual true life example of this unit of measure in use: > I was working construction in 1970, helping build a hospital. 4 of us (with the aid of a crane) are setting a 40’ long 12’ high wall form in place. > The object is to have the crane set the form almost in place and then using a sledge move it into final position. > Form gets set we holler down to the other end “How’s it look?” > “Bring it to me a cunt hair” > Not quite sure how much it has to move we yell back “What kind” > “A big black one” > Wham! goes the sledge > “Hows that?” > “Again, this time a red one” > Wham! > “How about now?” > “Just a blonde one” > Wham! > “Perfect” > > Back in the day the Playboy Adviser fielded a question about the upcoming Apollo-Soyuz space missions, measurement units, and would they use a cunt hair. IIRC Playboy was of the opinion that if during docking an American astronaut said “Move a cunt hair to the left Ivan” the Russians would automatically know what to do. I’m not wrong – I said “as in”, to ilustrate the use of more than one letter to indicate smallness. I used Red as the starting point only because the poster I was commenting on did. You have a problem with that, take it up with HIM. Your using only one color at a time contradicts the Playboy information I was given. But perhaps usage variees with place or time. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/63 "2013-06-22T11:41:43Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Another one that I’ve often found useful in daily life is the **millihelen** , which is the quantity of beauty needed to launch one ship. > > Also, the **sheppy** : “Measure of distance (equal to approximately seven eighths of a mile), defined as the closest distance at which sheep remain picturesque”, according to the [Meaning of Liff](http://folk.uio.no/alied/TMoL.html). Gee, Martian, sorry I somehow missed this! I thought I read the whole thread! Is there a unit for how much of something one doesn’t see? ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/64 "2013-06-22T12:47:37Z")
This thread is incomplete; yea, verily I say unto thee, that it lacks a link to a much older discussion by truly knowledgable Dopers called [“Where is smithereens?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290967&highlight=smithereens). A thread in which we discover important things such as the true definition of “a shitload”. And also how many “hell’s half-acre” equal one “Way the fuck and beyond”. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/65 "2013-06-22T12:54:08Z")
What about how much ‘whoop’ is in a can of ‘whoop ass?’ Now THAT would be worth knowing. 🙂 edit: I’ve heard a lot of places are adulterating it with things like ‘bitchy innuendo’ and ‘hey bitch, I think found a handful of your weave.’ ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/66 "2013-06-22T13:26:00Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > This thread is incomplete; yea, verily I say unto thee, that it lacks a link to a much older discussion by truly knowledgable Dopers called > [“Where is smithereens?”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290967&highlight=smithereens). Yikes, that thread came to a surprisingly abrupt end. I guess the threshold for closing threads was lower in those days. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/67 "2013-06-22T13:30:38Z")
I’ve always been partial to _Grad deutscher Härte_, an old unit of measurement for water hardness. It translates to ‘degrees of German hardness’, and don’t forget to roll your 'r’s while saying its name. (Shaking fist in the air is optional, but encouraged.) ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/68 "2013-06-22T14:23:37Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > So… a 3 PhD problem is so easy it’s stupid, because it took 3 PhDs for a guy to figure out that getting PhDs sucks? Several of us were a bit put off by the guy talking..who was, in fact, a PhD. We could have solves any of them without any PhDs present. But that’s for another thread. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/69 "2013-06-22T14:52:26Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > Several of us were a bit put off by the guy talking..who was, in fact, a PhD. We could have solves any of them without any PhDs present. But that’s for another thread. I know a place that has a rule, only one PhD allowed in any meetings. For some reason this was slightly favored over the zero PhD policy. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/70 "2013-06-22T20:29:19Z")
The beard-second. The distance an average beard grows in one second. Original sources say 10 nanometers, though Google reports 5 nm. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/71 "2013-06-22T21:11:17Z")
Here in Panama we refer to the _panasecond_. This is the shortest measurable unit of time, and corresponds to the time it takes from the light to turn green until someone starts honking you from behind. It is speculated that the panasecond may actually be negative, since the honking sometimes starts _even before the light changes_, suggesting that faster than light transfer of information is possible. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/72 "2013-06-22T21:21:13Z")
My favorite rural Georgia farmer unit. Quite variable in actual units but on the other hand rather precise and useful if implemented properly. A “look”. Okay guys, you get on the main highway here in front of my farm. You go 4 “looks” south then you take that highway to the left. Then its another 6 or so “looks” then you take a right and go about 3 “looks”. You’ll then be at farmer Jone’s place and you can talk to him about XYZ. Gee thanks Farmer Smith. But WTF is a “look”? A “look” is when you get on a road. Look down it as far as you can seen down the road. Maybe its a distance hill. Maybe a large curve. A bridge. A tunnel. Just a long assed way down the road. Keep that specific point in mind. When you get there you’ve gone one “look”. Now look and see where the point is that defines the next “look” distance. Repeat as needed. I got specific and complicated directions using “looks” once. Our team kept track of “looks” as we wandered rural Georgia. We go to where we were going and we were all “well, whata you know. It fucking works. And it works pretty good” Never seen it before or since. Maybe that Georgia farmer was just ahead of his time. True story. Honest to God. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/73 "2013-06-22T21:39:57Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > I’ve always like the Mho, which is the unit of conductivity - yes, the inverse of the Ohm. I see “mho” used in crossword puzzles a lot. Another one I often see in crossword puzzles is the “erg”, which I remember my high school chemistry teacher teaching us is the equivalent of a “fly stamp”, i.e. the amount of energy expended by a fly stamping it’s foot. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/74 "2013-06-22T22:00:14Z")
As far as funny-sounding units go, I’ve always liked the microhenry, one millionth of a [henry.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_(unit)) It might be appropriate to use in reference to [Henry Joseph Nasiff Jr.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_the_Angry_Drunken_Dwarf) ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/75 "2013-06-22T22:49:38Z")
When I first learned that light travels about a foot (~11.78 inches) in a nanosecond (I spend my days staring at nanoseconds on oscilloscopes) I’ve used **light-nanoseconds** interchangeably with feet and **light-feet** interchangeably with nanoseconds. And of course, [wiki has an entry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_units_of_measurement#Light-nanosecond). ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/76 "2013-06-22T23:01:23Z")
According to Jed Clampett: > [@](#): > > Mountain Measurements > > 1 smigeon = teensy l’il bit > 3 smigeons = pinch > 4 pinches = little bit > 4 little bits = a middlin’ amount > 3 middlin’ amounts = 1 right smart amount > 5 right smarts = a whole heap I don’t think anyone has yet mentioned the [pennyweight](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennyweight) (which I think is quite cute) or the [gill](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gill_%28unit%29) (not so cute, but rare enough in use to be worth noting). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/77 "2013-06-24T13:55:02Z")
Another one that actually exists on Google: the [Potrzebie System of Weights and Measurements](http://silezukuk.tumblr.com/post/616657913). The base of the system is the potrzebie, which is defined as “the thickness of MAD #26”. One thousand kilopotrzebies equals one furshlugginer potrzebie. A cubic dekapotrzebie in volume is one ngogn, and one ngogn of halavah has a mass of one blintz. “Halavah”, incidentally, is a particular kind of pie, having a specific gravity of 3.1416 and a specific heat of .31416. Edit: thought of another, real one. The “sleep”. With more time on edit I could find a reference, but I believe it first came about as a sort of combined unit of time/distance. As in, “it’s three sleeps to Milwaukee”, meaning that it would take three days of travel to reach Milwaukee. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/78 "2013-06-24T15:21:55Z")
The bogon: a measure bogosity, or how bogus something is. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/79 "2013-06-24T17:57:52Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Another one that actually exists on Google: the [Potrzebie System of Weights and Measurements](http://silezukuk.tumblr.com/post/616657913). The base of the system is the potrzebie, which is defined as “the thickness of MAD #26”. One thousand kilopotrzebies equals one furshlugginer potrzebie. A cubic dekapotrzebie in volume is one ngogn, and one ngogn of halavah has a mass of one blintz. “Halavah”, incidentally, is a particular kind of pie, having a specific gravity of 3.1416 and a specific heat of .31416. > > Edit: thought of another, real one. The “sleep”. With more time on edit I could find a reference, but I believe it first came about as a sort of combined unit of time/distance. As in, “it’s three sleeps to Milwaukee”, meaning that it would take three days of travel to reach Milwaukee. One thing I jusyt learned about the Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures is that it was written by Donald Knuth – the same Don Knuth who went on to write the classic multivolume _Art of Computer Programming_. In fact, his name is right there on your link, although it doesn’t make it clear why. He wasn’t even twenty yet. He apparently has a long history of humorous pieces: > **[Donald Knuth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_knuth)** > > Donald Ervin Knuth (/kəˈnuːθ/ kə-NOOTH; born January 10, 1938) is an American computer scientist and mathematician. He is a professor emeritus at Stanford University. He is the 1974 recipient of the ACM Turing Award, informally considered the Nobel Prize of computer science. Knuth has been called the "father of the analysis of algorithms". > Knuth is the author of the multi-volume work The Art of Computer Programming. He contributed to the development of the rigorous analysis of the computationa... ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542/80 "2013-06-24T18:33:38Z")
Heh. [Wolfram has potrzebies](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=1+million+potrzebies+in+parsecs) etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolest-units-of-measurement/661542.md?page=5)