# Coolness tests **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 6, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411 "2004-11-06T22:35:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/21 "2004-11-07T14:26:55Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > “668 - the NEIGHBOUR of the Beast!” I’ve been looking for a copy of that cartoon for years! Do you have a link, by any chance? Also, could I request that folks put a brief source of the reference in the postings? Some of these I just don’t know, and would like to see where they came from. Oh, and **Middlecase** , yes, it’s very shallow. But as it turns out, a shared sense of humor is among the best determiners of whether friendships and marriages will last (I’ll see if I can find a cite). And my personal experience is that those few folks who share several of my eclectic shallow interests (eg., punk rock, languages, history, skepticism, absurdist humor) also connect with me on deeper levels. Consider it a butt-sniff. **\_the\_Dog** ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/22 "2004-11-07T15:35:15Z")
> [@Keapon Laffin](#): > > Once I asked, “Who would be dumb enough to pay to watch a movie about Jay and Silent Bob?” [Brodie]Goddamit, man… here’s the pulse. And here’s your finger… far from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say…would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? [/Brodie] [Brodie]And on that note, we cue the music…[/Brodie] I have taken a lot of wierd looks and abuse for watching Kevin Smith movies. (Yes, that does include Jersey Girl. :o ) Was it worth it? Hell yeah! ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/23 "2004-11-07T16:29:21Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > “668 - the NEIGHBOUR of the Beast!” > > I like people who find that funny. And: 667 - Across the street from the Beast. ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/24 "2004-11-07T19:06:27Z")
> [@Ellis Dee](#): > > Mine is “So I got that goin’ for me…”, trolling for the response “Which is nice.” (Caddyshack) That one always cracks me up, we use it on a regular basis in our house, though we aren’t really trolling for a response. It’s just a follow up to a particularly mundane statement. “Yeah, I finished with the kitchen, but really need to go clean the bathroom now…so I got that going for me.” Come to think of it, there’s a lot of Bill Murray usage around here. Attempting a task you’ve never done before and people are doubtful it will go well? You’re sure to hear, “…Cinderella story…looks like he’s got about an eight-iron…” Acting like a butthead, a typical empty threat would be, “Don’t make me give you the Aunt Jemima treatment.” And another favorite, when dinner looks questionable, “The winner of tonight’s mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin, who guessed ‘some kind of beef.’” ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/25 "2004-11-07T20:24:51Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > **This probably isn’t cool enough** , but if someone doesn’t know the meaning of life is 42, who said “God is an absentee landlord”, that Phil Collins didn’t actually see anyone murdered or how to hang their own sheetrock, it’s probably not going to be as happy a ride as it could be. The nice thing about these coolness tests is that the only standard of coolness you have to meet is your own. For instance, a well-placed Terry Pratchet reference is much more likely to get you a date with me than good looks or a complement. ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/26 "2004-11-07T22:27:49Z")
I find that references to Mel Brooks movies and _The Princess Bride_ go a long way. Or at least those are the first that come to mind. I love saying “How many assholes we got on this ship?” and if even one person says “YO!” then I’m a happy camper. Knowing what 42 is is also up there, as is liking Ben Folds (Five). I’m very happy if people are fans of _Labyrinth_, but even moreso if they’ve even seen _The Dark Crystal_. I also like/recognize some Kevin Smith quotes. I’m reminded of the beginning of junior year of college, when my suite and the boys’ suite across the hall were hanging out together for the first time. I overheard this guy Jim say (I know this isn’t the exact line) “What she needs is some serious deep-dicking.” I cracked up laughing and he said “are you laughing because you get it or you’re offended?” When I said I got it he said “ok Sara’s the cool one.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/27 "2004-11-07T22:32:30Z")
What **middlecase** said. I can’t stand people who do this. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/28 "2004-11-07T23:08:15Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > For instance, a well-placed Terry Pratchet reference is much more likely to get you a date with me than good looks or a complement. As long as the date doesn’t involve …cabbages? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/29 "2004-11-07T23:24:14Z")
Any reference to “Pulp Fiction” does it for me. You’d be surprised how often the expression “Oh God, I just shot Marvin in the face!” crops in in casual conversations. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/30 "2004-11-07T23:27:01Z")
> [@bluecanary](#): > > What **middlecase** said. I can’t stand people who do this. Well, see, there you go. That’s your coolness test. ---
**Author:** ![BytopianDream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9de0a6/32.png) [@BytopianDream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BytopianDream)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/31 "2004-11-07T23:27:52Z")
Muppet movie or show references do it for me. Final Fantasy references are good too. Heck, Farscape, Stargate SG-1, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars or any other geek-ass stuff pretty much gains super cool points in my book. Of course any woman who saw me trip and said, “Fail your reflex save?” Would have me as putty in her hands. I can’t believe I didn’t fight for the woman who knew what a “70’s Retro Montage Fantasy” was. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/32 "2004-11-07T23:37:02Z")
Yeah I realised someone would post that as soon as I saw it in the thread. D’oh. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/33 "2004-11-08T01:56:17Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Looks like we’re pals, then. Btw, you left out the third item that can be made from newspaper, and the song title. Yea, cuz I forgot what it was ::runs away:: ::comes back:: Wasn’t it a weather map 😃 ::runs away again:: ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/34 "2004-11-08T02:18:09Z")
> [@Joey P](#): > > Yea, cuz I forgot what it was > ::runs away:: > > ::comes back:: > Wasn’t it a weather map 😃 > ::runs away again:: A brooch. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/35 "2004-11-08T04:26:03Z")
and leon’s getting laaarger. (But back to the op…) ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/36 "2004-11-08T10:58:32Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Seems pretty obvious to me regardless of the title (ooh…there’s one. I don’t talk to people who say “irregardless” 😃 ) this thread isn’t about judging people’s essential worth (aka coolness), it’s about things that let you know you’ll connect with someone. And sometimes ephemeral references are useful for that. Regardless of the title? Seems to me that a thread entitled Coolness Tests is about testing people for coolness. A thread entitled Things That Let You Know You’ll Connect With Someone would be about…well, you get the idea. And don’t tell me to lighten up; this pettily judgemental hipper-than-thou bullshit ought to end at high-school, and certainly not be perpetuated on these Boards. If that makes me sound stuffy or sanctimonious, so be it. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/37 "2004-11-08T12:41:07Z")
> [@Middlecase](#): > > Regardless of the title? Seems to me that a thread entitled Coolness Tests is about testing people for coolness. A thread entitled Things That Let You Know You’ll Connect With Someone would be about…well, you get the idea. And don’t tell me to lighten up; this pettily judgemental hipper-than-thou bullshit ought to end at high-school, and certainly not be perpetuated on these Boards. If that makes me sound stuffy or sanctimonious, so be it. Meh, you’re nit picking. Regardless of the title it’s pretty obvious that everyone here is talking about verbal cues that you’ve got something in common with a new acquiantance and not being judgemental. You’re raising your blood pressure for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/38 "2004-11-08T12:42:32Z")
> [@nitroglycerine](#): > > If someone asks how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union (1, 2, 3…11) “Yellow, black and, uh…” ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/39 "2004-11-08T14:07:13Z")
> [@Middlecase](#): > > If you have to test people for being “cool”, you’re not cool. If you care about being “cool”, you’re not cool either. Why would you vet people on their ability to pick up on ephemeral TV and movie pop-culture references? Isn’t that rather shallow? Actually, in college, we used to call these “dork-checks”. You make a pop-culture reference that is bound to be inflamatory to nerds and geeks and see who jumps on it. Now see, I’ve always measured a persons “coolness” by their ability to talk to the opposite sex or having access to some party or social event. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411/40 "2004-11-08T17:44:10Z")
> [@Middlecase](#): > > Seems to me that a thread entitled Coolness Tests is about testing people for coolness. It is, in a way (although note that “people” ain’t in the title). But I never imagined that “coolness” wasn’t in the eye of the beholder. It’s about little things that let you know that someone else thinks the same kind of stuff is cool. I’m a cool relativist. There is no Newtonian fixed framework of cool. Me… I’ve never in my life been hip or in. I’ve always been a geek. Hell, I just admitted to digging Get Smart and The Bad News Bears. 🙂 It’s rare that I find someone who shares my interests, and these little devices are just ways of checking for folks with similar tastes without saying to the crowd, “Hey, anyone here like silly 70’s TV?” My experience is that folks who “don’t get it” usually don’t care, just like I don’t care when other folks use references I don’t get. Now, folks who do this 10 times a day… yeah, that’s a pain. > [@Middlecase](#): > > A thread entitled Things That Let You Know You’ll Connect With Someone would be about… It would be about 7 words too long. Anyway, please do refer to the OP: “to check if an acquaintance is like-minded” – that’s all. But hey, if this kind of thing gets under your collar, I got no problem with that. We all have different styles, and sometimes folks do things that just chap your ass. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/coolness-tests/273411.md?page=3)