# Corny aphorisms that you’ve come to live by
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 19, 2021, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306 "2021-12-19T06:22:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@phs3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phs3)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2022, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/101 "2022-01-16T14:20:43Z")
…and remember to bury the bodies of the rest.
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### Author:  [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2022, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/102 "2022-01-16T14:40:34Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#):
>
> Believe what they do, not what they say.
Yep. For instance if they say they’d love to spend time with you but they have to work…well, maybe they truly do want to spend time with you or maybe not, but either way the end result is still that they’re at work, not with you, and that persists. Until and unless it doesn’t. Then they can regret it on their death bed. But if a miraculous cure materializes you’ll probably find them back at work.
If you loan a friend $20 and never see either of them again, it was probably worth it.
You can’t reason with an unreasonable person.
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### Author:  [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2022, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/103 "2022-01-16T14:43:00Z")
You can pretend to care, but you can’t pretend to show up.
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### Author:  [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2022, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/104 "2022-01-16T15:24:42Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#):
>
> When people tell you who they are, believe them.
Yep. Especially if they say, “I don’t deserve you.”
To my inner psychosomatic self:
Be careful about reading medical books. You may die of a misprint. ~Mark Twain
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### Author:  [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2022, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/105 "2022-01-16T15:36:55Z")
That’s gonna feel good when it quits hurting.
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### Author:  [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2022, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/106 "2022-01-16T15:37:37Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#):
>
> If you drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they are gone.
Another Handy-ism (paraphrasing): The elderly are a lot like Slinkys: it’s so much fun to push them down the stairs.
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### Author:  [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2022, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/107 "2022-01-17T13:31:00Z")
We may need to start another thread for these “Two kinds of people…” bits…
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who listen, and those who wait for their turn to speak.
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### Author:  [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2022, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/108 "2022-01-17T20:41:03Z")
Arguing with the weather only makes you wetter
One raindrop raises the sea
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### Author:  [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/109 "2022-01-24T16:28:38Z")
> [@its\_the\_daddy](#):
>
> There are two kinds of people in the world:
I knew someone who stated this indirectly as “Remember, there are seven flavors of Jello.”
Wikipedia lists many more, but I only see a few flavors at my store:
> **[Jell-O | Current flavors](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jell-O#Current_flavors)**
>
> The following are the flavors of Jell-O products that are currently being produced:
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/110 "2022-01-24T16:33:51Z")
There’s always room for Jell-O.
Or cello.
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/111 "2022-01-24T16:35:04Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#):
>
> Another Handy-ism (paraphrasing): The elderly are a lot like Slinkys: it’s so much fun to push them down the stairs.
We don’t need to be pushed. We’re very capable of falling on our own.
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### Author:  [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/112 "2022-01-24T16:40:05Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#):
>
> Years ago in a thread like this, someone expressed this same sentiment as:
>
> “Hey, you’re the one fucking this chicken. I’m just here to hold the wings.”
The way I heard it was, “Hey, you’re the one humping this goat. I’m just holding the horns.”
Obviously a phrase that lends itself to many different incarnations.
* * *
The corniest aphorism that I’ve come to live by: It is what it is.
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### Author:  [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/113 "2022-01-24T16:47:20Z")
From my grandma-
“Beauty’s only skin deep, but ugly’s to the bone!”
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### Author:  [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/114 "2022-01-24T17:00:51Z")
I quoted my mother recently somewhere on the board. Response to a useless apology:
“Sorry doesn’t feed the admiral’s cat.”
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### Author:  [@kwintenstraler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kwintenstraler)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/115 "2022-01-27T20:48:59Z")
TANSTAAFL (although there may be free beer)
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### Author:  [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/116 "2022-01-27T21:03:21Z")
Never stick your dick in the crazy.
Sure, right now he’s hot, but he’s an asshole. In 20 years, he won’t be hot anymore, but he’ll still be an asshole.
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [January 28, 2022, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/117 "2022-01-28T22:19:35Z")
It is also true that, “It isn’t what it isn’t.” That covers more ground than, “It is what it is.”
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2022, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/118 "2022-02-02T04:57:59Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#):
>
> ‘Planet’. 😉 I’m positive I read it in one of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s books, but I cant remember which one and I can’t find it online. Who knows? Maybe I mis-quoted it myself.
Did he write another book other than _The Little Prince_?
Huh.
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### Author:  [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2022, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/119 "2022-02-02T06:21:51Z")
A condescending one of my father’s that I always hated:
“if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself”
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [February 2, 2022, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-aphorisms-that-you-ve-come-to-live-by/956306/120 "2022-02-02T14:49:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Did he write another book other than _The Little Prince_ ?
In addition to that one, I’ve read Flight To Arras, Wind, Sand, And Stars, and Wartime Writings (published posthumously). I may have read Night Flight, but I don’t remember.
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