# corny responses to "how are you?" (i need them) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 20, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882 "2005-08-20T15:58:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/41 "2005-08-21T10:29:40Z")
“Just Spiffy” Or alternatively: “It’s just a _spiffy_ day.” Nobody will be able to figure out if you’re being serious or sarcastic. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/42 "2005-08-21T13:18:40Z")
My father, no matter what day of the week it is, says “Oh, pretty good for a Tuesday.” Obviously, if it is Tuesday, he’ll name another day of the week. My father has a very dry sense of humour. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/43 "2005-08-21T13:21:21Z")
My six year old niece, bless her heart, always answers this question with a big smile and a hearty sincere “Fantastic!” that makes me want to grab her and hold onto the sunshine as long as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/44 "2005-08-21T13:23:44Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > “Snug as a bug in a carpet!” Ississa Whoosh? A carpet? Not snug as a bug in a rug? ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/45 "2005-08-21T13:45:51Z")
“Medium Rare.” My sister in law calls and askes how I’m doing. I say fine, or good. And she will ask “what’s wrong”? Huh? Apparently, if I don’t say excellent, or great, or top of the world or some other such thing, something must be wrong. Drives me nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/46 "2005-08-21T14:28:33Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > In the Garden State on NJ 101.5 we used to have a great afternoon talk show hosted by Scott and Casey. Casey would always respond to that question, “I’m fine. I’m always fine.” Nice way to be polite, but kinda a dick at the same time. Hey, I use that! We got those two after y’inz were done with them, that line was the best part of their schtick. The fact that no one’s ever recognized my response as being directly lifted from them makes their being cancelled for low ratings make a little more sense. How about a mildly inappropriate Joey Tribiani response of “How _you_ doin’?” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/47 "2005-08-21T14:37:47Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Ississa Whoosh? A carpet? Not snug as a bug in a rug? Well, you can’t make a horse drink. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/48 "2005-08-21T14:53:40Z")
## A: How are you? B: How am I? Well last night I was like a crazed rhinoceros of love. A: Well that’s great! B: No, she was great, but I was incredible, three times. A: Really? B: Yeah, but now I’m exhausted. ## A: How are you? B: Fine has powdered sugar. B: Slicker than snot. B: Cold! Colder than my first wife (husband). B: Hotter than a two-dollar pistol. B: Sick! Sicker than Michael Jackson’s wet dreams. A:How are you? B: Like your most secret passionate, dreams, but I am (married/straight). ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/49 "2005-08-21T15:09:22Z")
Worse. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/50 "2005-08-21T15:14:08Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > How did Ham radio get into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? “5 by 5” is from ham radio? I had no idea! It’s something that Faith (the Other White Slayer) used to say. I haven’t spent all that much time wondering about it, but I’ve never seen an explanation of it … I guess I just figured it was something that the writer made up. The other characters on the show even talked about it once: someone asked “what does that even _mean_?” and no one knew. So, what _does_ it mean? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sine\_Nomine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sine_nomine/32/513_2.png) [@Sine\_Nomine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sine_Nomine)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/51 "2005-08-21T15:37:03Z")
My biology professor in college used to say, “Surviving” in answer to that question. One class, he pointed out that organisms with successful genes not only survive to maturity but reproduce as well. He pointed out that, as a grandfather, he had successful genes. So when people asked him how he was and he said, “Surviving,” he meant “Surviving and reproducing.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/52 "2005-08-21T15:41:15Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > “5 by 5” is from ham radio? I had no idea! It’s something that Faith (the Other White Slayer) used to say. I haven’t spent all that much time wondering about it, but I’ve never seen an explanation of it … I guess I just figured it was something that the writer made up. The other characters on the show even talked about it once: someone asked “what does that even _mean_?” and no one knew. > > So, what _does_ it mean? 🙂 When performing a radio check, one responded with a one-to-five rating of the sender’s strength (ranging from “weak” to “loud”) and a one-to-five rating of the sender’s clarity (ranging from “garbled” to “clear”). Five-by-five, i.e. a loud and clear signal, was as good as it got. It became a general military (not specifically Ham radio) term for smooth sailing, smooth operation. If Joss Whedon first heard it in a movie, he likely got it from _Aliens_, in which the pilot says “We’re in the pipe, five by five.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/53 "2005-08-21T15:53:31Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > So, what _does_ it mean? 🙂 Dad was a ham is no longer with us. One number indicates signal strength, the other the clarity of the signal. Why five is the best I have no idea. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/54 "2005-08-21T15:58:34Z")
I usually respond: ‘Depends on who you ask’. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/55 "2005-08-21T16:00:11Z")
“Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.” ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/56 "2005-08-21T16:09:54Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > When performing a radio check, one responded with a one-to-five rating of the sender’s strength (ranging from “weak” to “loud”) and a one-to-five rating of the sender’s clarity (ranging from “garbled” to “clear”). Five-by-five, i.e. a loud and clear signal, was as good as it got. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > One number indicates signal strength, the other the clarity of the signal. Excellent, thanks! That response has come to mind a number of times, but I’ve never said it because I didn’t know what it meant. Now I can’t wait until the next time someone asks me how I am (probably tomorrow at work). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/57 "2005-08-21T16:14:35Z")
> [@Rebekkah](#): > > \I’m a buffy nerd. Is there a support group I can join? You kinda did already. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/58 "2005-08-21T16:24:38Z")
When I was very negative back then, I would say, “Dying.” Recently, it has improved to “Not bad, but not very good either” ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/59 "2005-08-21T17:34:34Z")
Delicious. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882/60 "2005-08-21T19:02:27Z")
I usually say something like “Can’t complain! Well, I could, but what’s the point?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corny-responses-to-how-are-you-i-need-them/317882.md?page=4)