I was never going to skip it, I was always going to get one eventually. I’ve said since trial results were released that mRNA vaccines likely herald a medical revolution. The development time and effectiveness are unprecedented.
But, I am conservative by nature. I am not an early adopter of anything. I don’t want the latest phone, I don’t typically watch movies in the theater, I don’t buy new cars. I want something tried and true: a known quantity.
Pfizer and Moderna have created something entirely new. Sure, these vaccines were tested - with protocols designed to catch problems we know traditional vaccines can cause. What sorts of problems can mRNA vaccines cause? We didn’t know because it had never been done before. We didn’t know if we were even looking for the right things.
Plus, due to various unfortunate circumstances, getting the vaccine wasn’t going to provide me with much tangible benefit. My immediate family is going to continue to be very isolated, and so long as everybody in the grocery store and doctors office was wearing a mask it wasn’t going to decrease my risk either of catching nor of transmitting the disease very much at all, so waiting was very low-risk and low-cost.
I initially thought that J&J was going to give me a nice way to resolve my general discomfort with the new mRNA tech. I’d just get the more traditional vaccine and be on my merry way. Unfortunately, it turned out to be much less effective, then it caused blood clots, then the authorization was pulled for it, then to top it all off it was pointed out that it actually uses tech very similar to mRNA vaccines and only ever used in the small number of Ebola vaccines. Not comforting at all.
But at this point there have been literally hundreds of millions of doses of both Pfizer and Moderna given. It’s been almost 10 months since trials began with almost shockingly good results. Any potential problems almost certainly would have been found by now. I’m watching the world open up around me, and the number of unmasked faces I see is skyrocketing. I don’t know if these are actually vaccinated people or just selfish jerks who don’t care.
I’ve been living in a world of cognitive dissonance, being simultaneously reluctant to take a vaccine, and angry at everybody else who refuses even as thousands die every week. I’ve been psyching myself up for it for weeks now, watching the vaccinated numbers climb and problems continue to not appear.
I don’t think my hesitancy was irrational. I don’t even think that anybody still hesitant is necessarily irrational. But it gets less rational by the day, and it’s time to at least define your threshold of when you will stop being hesitant. If that threshold is “never”, then that’s irrational.