In a few days time I have a hospital appointment for a check-up* and tomorrow morning I have a pre-appointment COVID test. It’s a drive-through test and, according to the leaflet, they throw a kit through the car window (I exaggerate) and you have to swab yourself and hand the swab back (this bit is accurate).
For someone who has never done the tonsils-and-nostrils thing before, the idea of being a newbie trying to figure it out in a car in a line of traffic is a bit daunting. But we have a pack of lateral flow test kits in the house, and a few days ago Trep jr and girlfriend (who are both NHS, and have to test twice a week) stopped over; so I took the opportunity to use one of our stash of test kits for a dummy run under their expert supervision. Negative. And some useful learning.
Now, when you do a home test you’re legally obliged to report a positive; but you’re also supposed to report a negative result (for stats); so, being a good citizen I rang the number and spoke to one of the call center guys. After the personal details thing, I got asked:
“So you tested because you were in contact with someone who had COVID?”
“Nah, it was practice.”
“Uh - what?”
So I explained the circumstances, and the reasons for testing - all of which makes perfect sense to me - at the end of which the person on the end of the line said:
Whilst, I suspect, checking a box which said “Other.”
Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that the COVID police didn’t follow up on that one. Yet. If they pick me up at the test site tomorrow, I’ll report back.
* - an invasive one; hence, I guess, the testing.