Don’t underestimate the value of a crappy plastic pyramid or that “recognition certificate” printed from your office admin’s deskjet. When negotiating for a raise or new position, these items are very useful to “document superior performance” to your middle-management reviewers.
It can be quite entertaining being in an interview and discussing these items in your sincerest mock-sincerity. Middle-managers get all flustered having their own tools used against them 
These things do more for the one presenting the piece of acrylic than the one receiving it. Most larger corporations I’ve worked for have an “employee satisfaction” survey that is conducted periodically in one form or another. (It’s often how they get ranked as one of the “best places to work” etc.) These surveys invariably ask if you’ve been recognized for a job done, do you feel valued, etc.
So rather than going through the god-awful experience of actually have to speak to the rank and file with any regularity in any way that would be perceived as making anyone feel valued, they hand these things out as a constant reminder that “you were recognized”. And the one giving it out gets to feel as if he actually accomplished something “managerial”.
Useful items have the disadvantage (from the HR perspective) of being useful anywhere – especially at home. Giving an award for other employees to envy and pursue is no good if the winner doesn’t keep it right there on his desk or on the wall of his cubitainer. Plaques and acrylic paperweights, on the other hand, are useless – they’re not even good for showing off to your friends, because your friends recognize worthless crap for what it is – so they’re perfect for recognizing achievement in a way that will stay in the office, continually reminding your coworkers that they need to word harder or suck up more to meet the glowing standard you have set.
As a marketing guy that was previously responsible for ordering corporate giveaways, I can tell you that the employees at the company would really want our logo-ed stuff. I never ordered the stupid acrylic cubes for the primary reason that no one outside our company would ever see or care about them. The whole logic is, if you order something useful, the employees will wear them, use them, and get exposure for your company in public. Our hot item? A cheap laser pointer key chain with our logo laser etched in the side. They cost $5.00 each, but looked super cool and sophisticated… and holy crap if I wasn’t constantly being hit up for those things as employee recognition gifts. You win a $100,000 grant and you get a $5.00 laser pointer. Sounds lame, but everyone who DIDN’T have one of those laser pointers would ask to borrow someone’s for a presentation, and that person ALWAYS made sure they got it back.
Meanwhile, when we tried giving $25 gift cards to nice restaurants, people bitched because “it wasn’t even enough to buy a full meal”, despite the fact it was 5x as expensive. And even then, they used it up in one meal and then their recognition was forgotten. Guess what? We stuck with the laser pointers. Then when we upgraded to stylish travel coffee mugs, you would be surprised at the lengths our senior engineers making $130,000 a year would go to get one of those $10.00 things…
There’s something about tactile crap that makes people go crazy, especially when it’s given out sparingly to give the impression not everyone has one.
It’s bizarre. A Harvard education costs what… $200k? At the end of 4 years, what do they give you in recognition of your accomplishment? A diploma. What’s that diploma made of… a piece of paper… right? Or am I out of touch and they’ve started handing out etched acrylic plates instead of fancy papers to hang on the wall?
Here’s the crazy part… most students that want to GO to Harvard, and FINISH Harvard have not seen or touched actual diplomas of Harvard alumni. Quite amazing considering they have any motivation at all to finish their degree considering they are missing out on seeing others’ certificates of achievement.
I’ve been to a lot of management meetings where who gets this stuff is decided, and it is a function of the managers. Some always have nominees, and some have to get nominees dragged out of them by their bosses. Getting anything like this is more of a sign of a manager giving a shit than anything else - and that is good at raise time.
I know people who worked for me got stuff at a much higher rate than average. Why not?
Do you have a link to what one of these things looks like? I’ve never gotten one at any place I worked. I did get this weird pyramid for giving an invited talk at a user conference, and a really, really ugly statue of gray mountains for a best paper award - only useful if someone breaks into my office, since it is damn heavy.
I put the link in the OP. Here it is:
http://www.lucitetombstones.com/acrylic_stock_paperweights.htm
Make sure you scroll all the way down to see all the beautiful choices: rectangular ones, square ones, stars, globes. You have options of multi-color printing or laser etching.
A ton of websites sell those things. That’s just one vendor example.
Seeing that webpage was like scrolling through a mini-biography of my life. I’ve gotten a dozen of those stupid plastic plates that look just like the ones on that page.
Others have mentioned that it’s more for the managers to give out. Well, there’s no way I could hand that to subordinate with a straight face. No way. A laser pointer with corporate logo, sure, but a piece of shit plastic cube? If forced to, I’d have to secretly leave it on the subordinate’s desk after hours and claim the tooth fairy left it there.
I used to think these these things were cheap: a $1.00 or so. Now that I find out they cost $30 or more, it makes me re-evaluate the idiocy of humanity. Even if corporations get a bulk discount, a 50% discount of $30 is still $15. Does the piece of paper Harvard diploma cost $15 each?
Yes, that sounds like the typical plastic “keepsake” these people make that you’ll cherish forever. 
I used to attend trade shows and when I did, it was amazing what people would do for a stupid t-shirt from a booth. Typically, if you sat through a 20-30 minute presentation on the company’s products and then answer some dumb questions, the presenter would throw you a shirt. And people really got excited about this, even though they were typically cheap, low quality shirts covered with a gaudy logo. Or you’d get a cheap duffel bag with some logo all over it.
Yes, we get it. You don’t think these particular items are worthwhile. However, you are not the world.
Some people like them, some people don’t. Some places give them out, some places don’t. Unfortunately the sets don’t divide out equally.
What if we all chipped in and gave you an award for pointing out the obvious? :rolleyes:
Yep, I’m not the world therefore I asked the GQ. Other corporate decision makers think they are worthwhile. Why? Is there evidence they are more effective than other “lasting forms” of recognition such as mouse pads with corporate logos?
There’s something about my OP question that irks you. What is it? It was a real question. I found myself throwing away these plastic pieces in the garbage and therefore imagined millions of others doing the same. That in itself would be no big deal if they each cost a dollar but they don’t. They’re expensive (considering what they are.)
Are you being serious?
You gave previous examples of Christmas parties (trying to equate them with the plastic awards.) I have witnessed employees expressing interest in wanting to organize such parties. Christmas and birthday parties sponsored by the office are a real desire.
However, I have NEVER heard of any employee requesting, “I wish they would create an award category so they have an excuse to give out one of those plastic squares. That would really make my day and it would fill a void on my desk.”
You’re telling me that you know real employees that actually want these things? Who? What line of work are they in? What’s their IQ?
What’s so obvious? To me, you’re defending a product that I’ve never seen anybody actually want. I’ve seen catalogs of corporate logo products: mugs, pens, embroidered baseball caps, golf shirts, USB flash drives. I can picture people buying these type of items in good conscience. On the hand, the plastic paperweights seem like a tailor-made Dilbert cartoon insult. Why are they not?
Reminds me of one of the funniest things I heard on a business trip. We had this ridiculous Company Superstar nonsense going on at the time.
One of the VPs working out of that office, a boisterous Texan, got on the phone and called his boss.
“Bob, I have just been informed via a plastic coffee mug that I am a Company Superstar. Are you responsible for this shit?”
I guess its not that funny, but when we were working quietly and that voice rang through the office, everyone in the conference room cracked up.
They can be useful, if they are clear, large, with minimal etching; they can hold bound pages down if you need to transcribe from them.
I’ve been transcribing selected sections of handwritten reports, and I could really use a large clear object to hold the pages flat.
Other than that, give me the coffee mug any day (my current company buys excellent coffee mugs).
I’d rather have the monkey
You sure about that?
I’ve got a set of coffee mugs which have a logo from each company I ever worked for. Works for me. Along with the pins for every geo satellite I helped launched. As for the other stuff, gift certificates are better than plastic crap. But just a comment from the boss telling me I did a great job was usually the best reward.
Not everyone drinks coffee or wears golf shirts or can keep track of any pen. That chunk of plastic is just as valuable to one person as it is to the next, and you don’t have to worry about getting the size right. And it’s going to be around FOREVER, so that the awardee can look at it and glow with pride.
Or that’s the theory, anyway. I’d just as soon have a gift card.
My husband was in the Air Force for a dozen years, and has been working for the federal government for about 20 years now. He has a file folder that’s at least an inch thick, which is where he puts all his award certificates. Thank Og he doesn’t get plastic tombstones. What he REALLY likes is the bonus money he’s sometimes awarded.
For my “Fifteen Years of Loyal Service” I got a clock.
It broke.
Actually, I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. In my head, I’ve cast Slim Pickens from Dr Strangelove as the voice of your VP.