# Corporate Speak That Pisses You Off **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 24, 2020, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852 "2020-12-24T23:02:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/245 "2021-01-13T21:09:28Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > A few days ago there was a site-wide email informing us that we had a new HR representative. Our previous HR person, the email said, had “transitioned to a new position outside [our company].” I used to be in charge of sending out an email to all employees detailing promotions, transfers, new hires, and terminations. Once of our senior vice presidents called me one day to tell me to stop using the word termination and begin using separations. He thought it sounded too harsh. My VP, the VP of HR, called and said we should just using the heading “Buh-Bye” for separations. That does sound less harsh than terminate or separate I guess. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/246 "2021-01-13T22:25:16Z")
And for gosh sakes, never include “… with extreme prejudice” after anyone’s termination announcement. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2021, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/247 "2021-01-13T23:40:48Z")
In the last 6 months, people at my company have stopped quitting after finding a new job. Now they “transition to outside opportunities”. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/248 "2021-01-15T14:18:07Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > Now they “transition to outside opportunities”. That makes them sound like Doctor Who. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/249 "2021-01-15T23:37:08Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I’ve got no dog in the fight over ‘guest’ but OTOH the phrase “hospitality industry” to describe the hotel biz makes me want to upchuck. ‘Hospitality’ has a connotation of doing something that’s not required of you, bringing people into your home out of friendship or generosity. This begs the question of finding an alternative collective noun phrase that covers the whole panoply of establishments that cater for visitors. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2021, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/250 "2021-01-15T23:50:27Z")
Or Voltron. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2021, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/251 "2021-01-16T14:34:22Z")
> [@bob\_2](#): > > This begs the question of finding an alternative collective noun phrase that covers the whole panoply of establishments that cater for visitors. And this gross misuse of “begs the question” is addressed by several posters over here in this sorta similar thread: > [@Phrases/terms that aggravate the hell out of you](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/phrases-terms-that-aggravate-the-hell-out-of-you/923894/598): > > Using the phrase “begs the question” to mean “raises the question” is just wrong. This error was very common some years ago, but I thought that it was finally dying out. Then just last evening a local news anchor used the phrase. “Begging the question” is a specific logical fallacy: [Begging the Question](https://www.txstate.edu/philosophy/resources/fallacy-definitions/Begging-the-Question.html) ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/252 "2021-01-18T11:56:27Z")
This [blog post](https://diamondgeezer.blogspot.com/2021/01/borough-yards.html) dissects a whole corpse of corporate blether ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/253 "2021-01-18T12:43:46Z")
What is the ask in this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/254 "2021-01-18T18:32:20Z")
We’d like to shift the narrative to message our customers, internal and external, that we are achieving our platitudes of greater corporate citizenship. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/255 "2021-01-18T22:52:47Z")
“We are currently experiencing more calls than expected” or “an unusually high number of calls” and therefore you’re just going to have to wait. Probably for a loooong time. No, you SOBs, you are expecting a perfectly ordinary number of calls; there’s just a queue because you don’t have enough service people to answer them all quickly. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2021, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/256 "2021-01-18T23:09:49Z")
Regardless of the opinion of a Texas student, when I say “begs the question”, I mean it literally. If someone makes a proposition that needs questioning I will use that phrase and I doubt that many people will misunderstand. ---
**Author:** ![cytop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f17d59/32.png) [@cytop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cytop)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/257 "2021-01-22T10:58:21Z")
‘Consume’ As in ’ [How Social Media Has Changed How We **Consume** **News**](https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolemartin1/2018/11/30/how-social-media-has-changed-how-we-consume-news/)’ or even ’ [How Younger Generations **Consume** **News** Differently - Reuters …](https://www.digitalnewsreport.org/survey/2019/how-younger-generations-consume-news-differently/)’ Pass me the knife, fork & napkin - I’m going to watch/read the news… ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/258 "2021-01-22T17:07:42Z")
I have an employer who typically refers to us as associates (or even worse, an acronym with the last letter being “As” for associates). But the worst is when they sometimes call us owners or co-owners, like “We are all owners here, in this together.” This is due to a since retired benefit of RSUs, which almost no one accepted in the form of stock since the upfront taxes were too much. The number of working class stockholders in this company is very very low. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2021, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/259 "2021-01-23T01:39:24Z")
Is “Social Distancing” of corporate origin, government origin, media origin, or…what? It has always struck me as an awkward and infelicitous phrase. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2021, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/260 "2021-01-23T07:20:59Z")
It does have that euphemistic tenor that smacks of corporaticia, but also of the kind of cautious politic language that pervades the public sphere. Its origins are most likely manifold and not specifically corporate, as such. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2021, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/261 "2021-01-23T07:51:07Z")
> [@cytop](#): > > Pass me the knife, fork & napkin - I’m going to watch/read the news… Ah, _clichés rissolés_ again. > [@eschereal](#): > > It does have that euphemistic tenor that smacks of corporaticia, but also of the kind of cautious politic language that pervades the public sphere. Its origins are most likely manifold and not specifically corporate, as such. Well, quite. The whole point of it is that it’s anti-social _physical_ distancing; to me, before all this, it would have meant “We’re not on speaking terms any more”. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2021, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/262 "2021-01-23T11:58:52Z")
We were dining with some friends, and one of them (up-and-comer in a large financial services organisation – funny and witty, though) was describing some sort of business cycle / financial process to a 24-year-old, who’s generally not into these subjects at all. (We all speak French.) He talked for about 3 minutes straight, and every 2-3 sentences he used _“à la fin de la journée”_ for emphasis. That’s a very raw translation of “at the end of the day”, but it’s certainly not in common use in local, non-corporate French. Since he was describing a business cycle, I could tell that his “mark” actually thought these were events occurring around 5 PM on consecutive days. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2021, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/263 "2021-01-23T16:37:52Z")
A lot of places have French traditions and culture but speak some English for business or social reasons. They can use many interesting phrases combining languages. I’ve heard similar expressions used. The elitist bureaucrats wring their hands at the expressions people in Quebec actually use. They don’t like Anglo words. But they also don’t like the French slang that glibly omits half the sounds and changes others. It took me years to mostly understand it. ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2021, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/264 "2021-01-23T16:46:40Z")
Not exactly corporate speak but yesterday I got another one of those calls offering 0% on my credit card. The statement was that I was “eligible to qualify” for 0%. That statement must have originated in the department of redundancy department. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852.md?page=14)