# Corporate Speak That Pisses You Off **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 24, 2020, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852 "2020-12-24T23:02:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/425 "2021-05-27T18:13:35Z")
See also (and particularly post 19): > [@People of Zoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/people-of-zoom/942846): > > It’s been a year now and we’ve all become used to meeting on Zoom. So, it’s time to take an anthropologic view to the various subtypes of people you meet when you hold a meeting or get together on Zoom. -The Control Freak-sets up the meeting and invites everybody. Announces the time remaining every 10 minutes until the last ten minutes when they announce the time every minute. Recognize them by the monopolization of conversation. -The Procrastinator-always shows up late with a vague claim of… ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/426 "2021-05-27T22:39:33Z")
So I’m reading Brene Brown’s book Dare to Lead and while I completely understand the audience she’s writing to if I see the word “rumble” or “circle back” one more time I may have to structurally test my drywall and Kobo with great violence. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/427 "2021-05-27T23:01:13Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > if I see the word “rumble” or “circle back” one more time… I’ve long believed that a good grammar checking software should flag multiple uses of a phrase with: “ **You’ve used this expression …17… times already. Are you sure your audience isn’t sick of it**?” Every motivational self-help business writer will have to use it. Oh, and every mystery writer will be required to run their “Crusty Misunderstood Divorced Private Eye With Issues” novel through the TediousFlag™ app as well. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2021, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/428 "2021-05-27T23:50:28Z")
@digs, those are both marvelous ideas. I want in on the development and marketing! ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/429 "2021-05-28T12:26:36Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > So I’m reading Brene Brown’s book Dare to Lead and while I completely understand the audience she’s writing to if I see the word “rumble” or “circle back” one more time I may have to structurally test my drywall and Kobo with great violence. This is why I’m still a fan of plain ol’ paper books. When they piss me off I can throw them with zero guilt or, if particularly egregious, [run over them with my car.](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/21536845?book_show_action=true&from_review_page=1) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/430 "2021-05-28T17:32:38Z")
I bet your librarian hates you! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/431 "2021-05-28T19:54:46Z")
Is running over books with a car the newest data compression method? Some books in my collection (I’m looking at you Galaxy 666) could use it. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/432 "2021-05-28T22:37:00Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > if particularly egregious, [run over them with my car.](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/21536845?book_show_action=true&from_review_page=1) I haven’t read a whole goodreads review in years. This was the delightful exception. You could quit your day job and host _“The MST3K of Books” Show…!_ ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/433 "2021-05-28T23:28:34Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Is running over books with a car the newest data compression method? > Some books in my collection (I’m looking at you Galaxy 666) could use it. It might have been, but my roommates at the time took pity on the book and threw it in the dumpster when I was at work. Still mad about that twelve years later. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/434 "2021-05-28T23:29:21Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I bet your librarian hates you! 😉 Library books get bounced back into the return slot with great force. I’m not paying for crap. Anymore. > [@digs](#): > > > [@Catamount](#): > > > > if particularly egregious, [run over them with my car.](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/21536845?book_show_action=true&from_review_page=1) > > I haven’t read a whole goodreads review in years. This was the delightful exception. > > You could quit your day job and host _“The MST3K of Books” Show…!_ Well, I did start a book blog… ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2021, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/435 "2021-05-29T00:29:45Z")
Maybe it’s been mentioned already, but I’m becoming disproportionately annoyed by people who want to “tease” data out of a set. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/436 "2021-05-30T11:09:53Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > people who want to “tease” data out of a set. “Call yourself data? You’re just a bunch of noughts and ones. This set’s for _real_ data, you know” ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/437 "2021-05-30T13:23:27Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Maybe it’s been mentioned already, but I’m becoming disproportionately annoyed by people who want to “tease” data out of a set. Do not taunt Happy Fun Data. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/438 "2021-05-30T16:10:06Z")
Apparently, “P-Hacking” is making its way out of the scientific arena into general discourse. \*it happens when you tease the data to distraction. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/439 "2021-05-30T18:13:29Z")
I’m kinda guilty of this, but only out of comic purposes. Last week, I told my bosses that I’d started “appending” a spreadsheet, by “data mining” “streams” between two systems by “air gapping” from one database to the other, in order to “tease” out a “realization” on what that data is telling us. In other words, I started adding rows to update a old spreadsheet, to forecast trends. Tripler Helping put the ‘mental’ in _“governmental”_ since 2000. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/440 "2021-06-02T10:28:29Z")
Here are the last three tracking updates I got for a shipment. See if you can guess their chronological sequence - \*_Shipment is being transferred to the requested destination_ **Shipment has been received at CARGO DELIVERY TEAM** **Shipment has been received at DISTRIBUTION EXTENSION TEAM** ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/441 "2021-06-02T10:41:11Z")
I’m guessing it’s in reverse chronological order? That’s what Amazon do, at least in the UK, and the terminology makes sense: 11:49 AM Delivered London, GB 10:50 AM Out for delivery Bromley-by-Bow, GB 6:25 AM Package arrived at the final delivery station Bromley-by-Bow, GB 1:53 AM Package departed an Amazon facility Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire GB ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/442 "2021-06-02T14:06:54Z")
To be fair, you trained with the the best at it, at our fine National Defense Establishment. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/443 "2021-06-02T18:39:02Z")
I still have so many acronyms memorized that I can’t speak in _any_ professional encounter without using two of them. I mean, we have our own jargon on this side of the fence, but it’s just too easy to slip in a “COB” or “TLDR” into a conversation. Hell, since we span time zones, I’m _still_ pissing people off by using ‘Zulu Time’ (or if I’m feeling nice, ‘_Universal Coordinated Time_’). Tripler The time is now 1838. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852/444 "2021-06-03T07:46:04Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Shipment is being transferred to the requested destination At what point, after taking it off the shelf, is it NOT being transferred to the requested destination? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-speak-that-pisses-you-off/928852.md?page=23)