# Corporate words you hate **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679 "2003-04-28T15:20:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/1 "2003-04-28T15:20:33Z")
My boss loves to use the word “ **issue**.” Everything is an “issue.” It drives my bonkers. He also likes to use the words “ **opportunity** ” and “ **ownership** ” a lot. Grrrr… What “corporate words” drive you crazy? I keep a list of such words taped to my office door. I think it needs updated, so I’m turning to dopers for help. Here it is: Tasked Effort Opportunity Issue Action Item Ownership Synergy Team Closure Capture Data Define Identify Proactive Logistics Core Empower Activity Share Insight Vision Leadership Leverage (as a verb) Resource Support Implement Potential Holistic Organic Have any to add? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/2 "2003-04-28T15:28:46Z")
I’m in IT, and a software vendor we’ve been dealing with for the past year uses the term “Parking Lot Issues” to denote the last things you discuss at a meeting. Presumably this term originates from the idea is that everyone is so reluctant to break up the meeting that discussion continues as everybody walks out to their cars. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/3 "2003-04-28T15:30:00Z")
Good list. Again, George Carlin likes to talk about a number of words I think of as corporate-speak, even if that’s not exactly what some of them are. The whole making-a-noun-into-a-verb thing drives me insane. Interpersonal is a bad one. But you forgot the biggie: NETWORK. _Especially_ when it’s a verb. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/4 "2003-04-28T15:36:29Z")
My husband heard a new one the other day: shotgun (as a verb). As in, “We’ll shotgun it to the database load group.” ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/5 "2003-04-28T15:42:03Z")
Did you ever take a look at [Buzzword Bingo](http://www.progress.demon.co.uk/Fun/Buzzword-Bingo.html/) It was based on a Dilbert cartoon: > [@](#): > > If the boss uses a buzzword on your card, you check it off. The objective is to fill a row. > Boss: “You’re all very attentive today, my proactive leadership must be working.” > “Bingo. Sir.” ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/6 "2003-04-28T15:56:42Z")
“Around” Rather than saying “Write us a report about the effects of the blah tax on efficiency and equity” they say “The key deliverable is the circulation of an exposure draft around blah tax issues.” ---
**Author:** ![elfje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19b73/32.png) [@elfje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfje)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/7 "2003-04-28T16:07:07Z")
“flexibility” means work the hours we ask you to, don’t complain. But they’re never flexible with our wages. “opportuninty for growth” means you’ll start off in a junior position, and we’ll keep on dumping more and mor work on your desk, whether you like it or not. but yes, the one I loath is “ownership” especially when it’s used to mean “mistake” like this: Whos prepared to take ownership of this actually means who’s bloody mistake was this? urgh corporations… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/8 "2003-04-28T16:07:27Z")
If I hear one more person defend their point by prefacing their statement with “Clearly,” I’ll throttle 'em. It’s just so arrogant! ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/9 "2003-04-28T16:16:05Z")
I hate it when people use perfectly good nouns as verbs. For example – the word partner. Ugh – please work with me, don’t partner with me. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/10 "2003-04-28T16:17:53Z")
> [@](#): > > If I hear one more person defend their point by prefacing their statement with “Clearly,” I’ll throttle 'em. It’s just so arrogant! Ah, good old debating tactics. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/11 "2003-04-28T16:18:52Z")
“Loss” - I’ve been hearing that word \* far \* too often these days ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/12 "2003-04-28T17:17:53Z")
“Layoff” = “fired”, just admit it. ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Star_to_the_Right)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/13 "2003-04-28T17:22:20Z")
I HATE “proactive”. “Ownership” is a close second. Oh, and “stepping up to the plate” pisses me off to no end. Gah. ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/14 "2003-04-28T17:31:17Z")
“paradigm”, “resources” used referring to people, I don’t really care for mission statements. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/15 "2003-04-28T17:37:26Z")
Stakeholder. I’d like to be holding a stake the next time I hear that one. I know how I’d use it too. ---
**Author:** ![glilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/48db29/32.png) [@glilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glilly)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/16 "2003-04-28T18:10:13Z")
Incent, a grotesque verb which means roughly "to give [him] an incentive [to] … " or Incentivize, “to create an incentive…” ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/17 "2003-04-28T18:14:48Z")
“Outsource” = We’re too cheap or lazy to do this ourselves. “Downsize” = We’re going to fire a _bunch_ of people “Financial incentives” = fat bonuses (not always a bad thing) “Corporate restructuring” = We’re going to fire a _bunch_ of people. “Can ‘hit the ground running’” = We’re too cheap or lazy to train you, even a little bit. “Merger” = We’re going to fire a _bunch_ of people “Ambitious young professional” = Someone young and naive we can exploit “Relocation” = We’re going to fire a _bunch_ of people ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/18 "2003-04-28T18:20:33Z")
I’ve recently gotten totally sick of the phrase “working with,” which seems to crop up in both corporate and government spheres. It goes something like this: “We have recognized the challenges posed by the large number of rampaging kill-bots in the parking lot and are currently **working with** the building management to address the issue.” This translates to: “We know that you think we should be doing something about the rampaging kill-bots, but we really don’t know what to do and think it’s the janitor’s problem, anyway, so we called him up and said 'Hey! How ‘bout dem kill-bots? Shouldn’t you be doing something about them?’” ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/19 "2003-04-28T19:18:49Z")
“Going forward…” Leverage Those are my most-hated, and my husband (who works for the same company) occasionally uses them at home. I’ve taken to screaming “LA LA LA LA LA” during the rest of his sentence to make him stop. Right-sizing as a “nice” word for firing hundreds of people. Has anyone seen that (I think) Sprite commercial where they use the phrase “strategized markitecture?” Oh my God. I await with horror the day that makes it into the lingo around here. That’s the day I set something on fire. ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679/20 "2003-04-28T19:42:38Z")
if anyone mentions “metrics” in my presence, they run the risk of severe bodily injury. “metrics” = “draw a picture for the bloody @ssh\*\*\* who can’t bother to read a simple sentence or two” :: _exits, snarling_ :: lachesis [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corporate-words-you-hate/171679.md?page=2)