# Corrupt Wish Game!!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 12

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**Author:** ![The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/da6949/32.png) [@The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Immortal_Mango)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/221 "2003-11-06T21:02:21Z")

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_poof_ You have your working wings…on the back of a hundred thousand zombie crows that eat you alive aka Resi Evil 2. Your pecked corpse will be found by brave adventures in years to come and they will thin ‘Silly bugger, what’d he go and wish that for.’

I wish was immortal and can live for all time.

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**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/222 "2003-11-06T21:07:31Z")

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we already had that one but

BANG ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ you become immortal and can live for all time unfortunately due to the USA- Korea nuclear war in which Korea fires a nuke into the sun destroying all time and space so total of all time you lived for: all of it  
all time from moment of wish: 3 months  
i wish i had a bottle

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**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/223 "2003-11-06T21:18:03Z")

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POOF! You have a bottle. Unfortunately, you are a baby and confined to a crib.

I wish I had room for more cats.

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**Author:** ![The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/da6949/32.png) [@The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Immortal_Mango)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/224 "2003-11-06T21:24:28Z")

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And lo your wish is granted, however the room in question is prime Tokyo land space, the land tax involved means despite the fact you have room, you have no money, and are in millions of pounds in debt.

I wish the voices in my head would push off somewhere else…

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [November 6, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/225 "2003-11-06T21:58:18Z")

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\<\<pplllumphhhh\>\> The voices in your head have gone, but they moved to your knee caps which now constantly talk to each other.

I wish to be a genius.

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**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/226 "2003-11-07T01:17:56Z")

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_Ding Ding Ding_

**Bippy** , you are a genius… an EVIL genius. BWAHAHAHAHA! In the new James Bond movie, _You Bet Your Dead Bippy_, 007 throws you into a boiling hot volcano, where you suffer a horrible end.  
I wish I could hit a curveball.

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/227 "2003-11-07T01:56:53Z")

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_sploop_

You’re driving down the street when your neighbor’s kid darts in front of you, driving his new BMX Curveball. He lands in a rose bush, you land in jail. Damn juries.  
I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

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**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/228 "2003-11-07T02:07:23Z")

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_fnord_

You can now hit any curveball thrown your way, but everyone else has forgotten how to throw them. All fast balls hit you in the nuts every time and we’re all out of protective cups. Bummer.

I wish I that Fred Phelps was buried up to his neck and covered in honey next to a cluster of angry fire ant colonies.

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**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/229 "2003-11-07T02:07:51Z")

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```auto

You can hit a curve ball because you are a bat.

I wish my Bacardi[sup]TM[/sup] wasn't frozen.
( I bought a six pack and brought it home, I threw one in the freezer and forgot about it. )
```

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**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/230 "2003-11-07T02:12:50Z")

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_damn_  
**Horseflesh** are you watching CSI as well?  
How 'bout that, us posting at the same time?

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**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/231 "2003-11-07T02:38:39Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by misstee \*  
> \*\*_damn_  
> **Horseflesh** are you watching CSI as well?  
> How 'bout that, us posting at the same time? \*\*

Heh, yup. Watching Grissom get a little “head”. The body wasn’t none too pretty to look at though.

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**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/232 "2003-11-07T04:21:15Z")

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Whups, forgot to corrupt the last wish.

Your Bacardi Raz is no longer frozen – in fact it has completely evaporated. You only have the memory of your freezer to keep you company as it has now turned into a convection oven.

I wish that CSI was on a different night so I wouldn’t have to watch it while I’m supposed to be working. Stupid work.

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**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/233 "2003-11-07T04:52:14Z")

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_clipclopclipclop_

**Horseflesh** , your Fred Phelps wish is granted. Unfortunately, the fire ants all die after biting him, and the government sues you for poisoning wildlife and polluting the groundwater with rancid honey and buried bigot.

_Brrrzzzzzt_

Bonus wish fulfillment! CSI is on every night you’re _not_ working. You can now watch it all the time, since your boss just fired you for goofing off.

_Huuummmmmmmm_

I wish someone else would do my housecleaning.

**Johnny Bravo** , you’ve taught the world to sing in perfect harmony. But nobody wants to sing with you, and since you’re the only one marring the harmony of the globe, you’re exiled to the moon. Without a space suit.

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**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/234 "2003-11-07T04:53:27Z")

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I also wish I could edit that last post to put my wish last. 😉

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**Author:** ![Vlad\_Dracul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/50afbb/32.png) [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/235 "2003-11-07T07:05:00Z")

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I got punished for NOT wishing?? Wow… I had no idea genies were so tempermental.

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**Author:** ![Snake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Snake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/236 "2003-11-07T08:25:36Z")

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Ok, Eddy. You come home from work to find Mike Tyson has done a wonfderful job of cleaning your house, but you are dismayed to find your dog now only has one ear and is walking funny.

I wish to find a picture of G W Bush wearing fishnet stockings, leather crotchless panties, and nipple clamps while in the midst of a three way withh Pee Wee Herman and Ernest Borgnine.\< for extortion purposes only ! \> heh

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**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/237 "2003-11-07T08:31:08Z")

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_Blammo_

**Snake** , you find EXACTLY that picture. Isn’t that punishment enough? :eek:  
I wish I could play like Jimi Hendrix.

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**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/238 "2003-11-07T10:36:12Z")

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_zzzzaappp_  
You can play like Jimi Hendrix, which is to say you can play like a dead person (not very well).

I wish that people would stop sueing me for infringment by my wishes

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**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/239 "2003-11-07T12:34:16Z")

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nocturnal\_tick: Trial by jury has been replaced by trial by ordeal.

I wish that this genie granting my wishes would suffer torment equal to that which has been inflicted on unsuspecting wishers.

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/240 "2003-11-07T12:59:45Z")

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Request denied, based on the OP’s rules.

I wish that I controlled a major Hollywood studio during the 1930’s…

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