# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/301 "2003-11-08T23:13:55Z")
wadjikuraitemasu you have a good hot cup of tea right now unfortunately its so hot it melts the cup i wish for One soundless mid-day, the wind was so cheerful. Flower petals sway in the breeze as if they were sleepy. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/302 "2003-11-08T23:24:16Z")
_poot_ **BigDaiv** has his soundless mid-day – he’s wearing his noise protection gear as he jackhammers ledge out of the pristine site for the latest mega-development. Stand clear for the bulldozers! I wish I had a Bobcat. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/303 "2003-11-09T00:10:28Z")
Queazle! Now you do have a Bobcat- Bobcat Goldthwait. I wish Bob Dylan could sing intelligibly… ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_VA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f475e1/32.png) [@Alex\_VA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_VA)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/304 "2003-11-09T00:52:57Z")
Gov. Quinn: He sings intelligibly, and he uses it to his advantage. He hypnotizes everybody with is intelligeble lyrics and becomes lord and master!! I wish dogs could talk ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/305 "2003-11-09T01:53:48Z")
Fine. Your dog is now telling everybody who will listen all kinds of stuff that you thought no one knew. I wish I knew all the answers. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/306 "2003-11-09T02:01:42Z")
_Whooooooooooossssshhhhhhhhh_ You know all the answers, **SkyBum**. Of course, you no longer recall the questions. What’s worse, no one wants to hear any of the answers, and when you try to tell them, you always answer the wrong question. People avoid you at all costs, and the hell of it is, you know why. I wish I knew all the useful answers. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/307 "2003-11-09T02:04:44Z")
_flammm_ You know all the answers. Everywhere you go, they bubble up in your mind. Every idle thought, every look at a passer-by, every inquiring scan of a newspaper, every puzzlement over an unfamilar word or language or piece of music brings an instant answer. And when you don’t understand these answers, your confusion brings up more answers. It’s like having the world wide web permaintly connected to your all-seeing mind, and having to follow all of the links all of the time. You learn much too much about everyone around you. Your mind starts to crumble under the mass of alien information… Two hours later, they find you twitching under a highway overpass, mumbling about Mrs. Green’s panties and the epistemology of chocolate. You die soon afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/308 "2003-11-09T04:41:02Z")
I see **Sunspace** is still a perfect sphere – so perfect as to need no wish at all. Perhaps one will float to consciousness when **Sunspace** is rolling sufficiently fast down this here inclined plane toward that bubbling lava pit? I’m still wishing to know all the useful answers. Not all the answers, just the ones that will come in handy. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/309 "2003-11-09T04:53:30Z")
- Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv \* You know all the answers as provided to you by **handy** ; unfortunately they are all 20-30 years out of date (but still quite valid when talking about those wonderful times). I wish I never ran out of cigarettes. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/310 "2003-11-09T05:04:44Z")
_PUFFFFFFFFF_ You never un out of cigarettes. In fact, you become a cigarette magnet. Packs and single cigs are irresistibly drawn to you, flying right out of other people’s pockets and hands. Including already lit cigs. No matter how fast you run, you can’t get away form the seething, burning mass of cigarettes that surrounds you, and you die from smoke inhalation. I wish I could think up a funny wish. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/311 "2003-11-09T05:16:43Z")
## hronnnk! #$ You never run out of cigarettes. They’re everywhere. You reach into your briefcase for a memo, and you have to dig down through the smokes. They’re all over the interior of your car. You reach up to scratch your head, and there’s one behind your ear. Smokers start to follow you around. The next time you drive across a border, your car is dismantled by agents looking for contraband. You can’t explain the source of your cigarettes or the lack of receipts for them. You become very popular in jail. On preview, **ETF** , I see that your idea is much better than mine. 🙂 - ding!\* You can think up a funny wish. Just one. When you try to express it, there is giggling from the corner of the room, and then a thump as a small body falls to the floor. It’s the Wish Fairy. You’ve killed her, for, alas, your wish is the The Funniest Wish Of All, the one that no-one can try to grant and still live… My wish: I wish I could easily interpret body language in social situations. [sub]Oh, and get me out of this damn lava! It stings![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/312 "2003-11-09T05:24:10Z")
_FWRRRRRRRUP!_ Congratulations, **Sunspace**! You are now a keen student of body language, and can correctly read even the tiniest of gestures, expressions, and so forth. Which is good because you’ve totally lost the ability to understand the spoken word. At least you’ve escaped the lava pit. Of course, flinging yourself into the ocean to cool off has instantly solidified you into a rigid, misshapen chunk of slag, so while you perfectly understand body language, you can’t mime any communications back. I wish I had the sense to go to bed at a reasonable hour instead of sitting up too late playing silly games on the computer. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/313 "2003-11-09T06:28:43Z")
Zap! You have great sense. You know absolutely that bed is the best place for you. Still you don’t go… I wish I was ready for the Christmas faire ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/314 "2003-11-09T06:34:19Z")
You’re more than ready for the fair. Unfortunately, you’re ready for **last** year’s fair. I’d like the ability to breath normally in any atmosphere. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/315 "2003-11-09T06:58:49Z")
- A la Salem menthol 100s! \* Tadah! You can breath normally anywhere now. But since it’s just the one breath, the next one does one of three things: 1) makes you giddy as all get out and your body spontaneously inverts itself, 2) makes you post non-stop to the SDMB until your keyboard melts and your eyes explode, or 3) makes you wish you’d just tacked on the second “e” in your wish to make it come true like you wanted. I wish I could have another Bacardi Raz. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/316 "2003-11-09T11:09:13Z")
you could have another bacardi raz but you wont on the grounds that barcardi have stopped making razs (razzs? razzes? razi?) i wish i have a large pink duck and didnt need to do anything to gain it other than type this wish and tap “Submit Reply” ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/317 "2003-11-09T11:19:19Z")
Wish granted. Oops. the hamsters ate your duck. I wish I was smarter than Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/318 "2003-11-09T14:00:45Z")
Ashelephates! You are now smarter that Cecil- Cecil Fielder. I wish that I owned all the real estate on Manhattan… ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/319 "2003-11-09T14:09:20Z")
you now own all the real estate on Manhattan but now manhattan is 300 ft under the sea however take it from me wetter is better i wish i could speak japanese ---
**Author:** ![puggyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@puggyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puggyfish)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/320 "2003-11-09T14:11:59Z")
Zoop! It’s all yours! But the property owners are very unhappy and prices plummet. In an act of desperation they move the whole of Manhattan, building by building, around 50 miles away, Simpson’s style. Property prices recover, but real estate values hit zero. You are left with a large tax bill. I wish I didn’t need to sleep. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=17)