# Corrupt Wish Game!!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 18

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![FreeRange\_Maniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/97f17d/32.png) [@FreeRange\_Maniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeRange_Maniac)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/341 "2003-11-09T23:43:30Z")

</div>

Kapowieblurgghhh!!!  
Every dead entertainer is now alive…just to entertain you…in your bathroom…24/7/365!

I wish it could be Christmas every day!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/342 "2003-11-10T00:04:59Z")

</div>

Tis the season to be jolly. Falala la la la la la la  
La la la falala la la fala  
La la la feeling broke, la la la feeling full, lalala  
Fa la la la fala la fala la la mother in law is stressing me out la la la fa la  
Again la la la  
And that crappy gets-on-your-nerves canned elevator/department store christmas carols fa la la la  
La la Fa la la la tired of ham, big power bill, up on the roof again to sort out the lights, la Fa la la la la la la la la la  
Forever la la la falala

I wish the world truly was flat.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/343 "2003-11-10T00:18:03Z")

</div>

Rizzo! It is flat, and we’re all falling off the edge.

I wish that I owned CBS, that someone else paid all the bills, and that I could do all programming…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/344 "2003-11-10T02:18:10Z")

</div>

Mazel tov! You now own the Central Broadcasting System. And the [Copenhagen Business School.](http://www.cbs.dk/indexuk.html) And the [Center for Biological Sequence Analysis.](http://www.cbs.dtu.dk/) And Israel’s [Central Beaureau of Statistics.](http://www.cbs.gov.il/engindex.htm) In fact, you own every busniess and organization in the world which can be named with the initials CBS. Even with others taking care of the finances, you quickly have a nervous breakdown trying to manage all of your properties at once.

I wish I had access to the Library of Dreams, and permission to spend the rest of eternity going through the stacks, reading all of the books never published.

(I’m a Sandman geek. What’s it to ya?)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/345 "2003-11-10T04:49:03Z")

</div>

Ka-FWONNGGG!!! ipple ipple ACK ba-DANG  
[sub]plink[/sub]

You have access to the Library of Dreams. Unfortunately, it’s while you are asleep. In your sleep, you find that you have unlimited time to search that Library, but when you wake up, you can never remember your findings.

I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/346 "2003-11-10T05:09:05Z")

</div>

_Kablammo!_

You have a very beautiful girlfriend. Unfortunately, she is pure evil and reports this thread to the Mods for all its talk of death.

I wish John Lennon was still alive.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/347 "2003-11-10T05:19:37Z")

</div>

_TWANGGGGGGG_

John Lennon is still alive. He’s also balding, forgetful, and calls Yoko Ono “Mommy” when she visits him in the nursing home.

I wish There was a good sushi restaurant nearby.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/348 "2003-11-10T05:29:46Z")

</div>

- A la mashed potatoes and gravy! \*

You get your wish, **ETF**! You now live in a sushi restaurant (or it sprang up around you, same diff). The chefs are constantly shaving or cutting off parts of your body and adding them to the main courses since the clientele has discovered your delectable taste. Soon you will be nothing more than a disembodied brain (apologies if you are already, one can never tell on these public boards).

I wish it was a little warmer in my computer room right now.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/349 "2003-11-10T05:36:16Z")

</div>

_skooptch_

It’s a little warmer. Well, relatively speaking. If you were on the sun, the sudden 500 degree temperature increase would be hardly noticable.

I wish the **whole world** were suddenly completely clear on how big a liar Ann Coulter is.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Vlad\_Dracul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/50afbb/32.png) [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/350 "2003-11-10T06:03:39Z")

</div>

The world now realizes that Ann Coulter is a HUGE liar! Ann Coulter MUST DIE!!!

But since most of them have no idea who you’re referring to, they play it safe and massacre EVERY Ann Coulter listed in every phone book and census database on Earth.

Then it occurs to them that she might have changed her name, so the people of Earth turn on each other, killing all the women. Without women, the men have nothing better to do than kill each other.

I wish EddyTeddyFreddy was plagued with the legions of super-strong, shape-shifting, Undead vampire ticks which resulted from her earlier wish concerning me and Nocturnal Tick.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/351 "2003-11-10T11:01:04Z")

</div>

_(snap)_

Wish granted. Unfortunately the ticks drank all her blood a few posts ago and now they’re bored and decide on a holiday to this great bar in Mexico…

I wish for the meaning of life to be posted on this board.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/352 "2003-11-10T11:09:31Z")

</div>

_poof_

Your wish is granted. The meaning of life is: the period during which someone or something exists, beyond that you’ll need more wishes.

I wish big hair bands were back in style

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/353 "2003-11-10T13:06:20Z")

</div>

Woums! You now have your wish. Big hair bands are back in style. Unfortunately, they now play easy-listening.

I wish that Napoleon won at Waterloo…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/354 "2003-11-10T13:26:52Z")

</div>

_XYZZY_  
History has been rewritten and now documents that he has won at Waterloo. Unfortunately this changed the entire course of European and world history leading to several of your ancestors never actually being born… so you never existed.

I wish that the most beautiful female in existance would take me to bed and have the most passionate night of sex ever with me, and she would still not want anything in return.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/355 "2003-11-10T13:31:36Z")

</div>

_aooogaaa_

Napoleon was victorious at last! After a dramatic battle he had finally beaten his Captain at chess, unfortunately his victory was overshadowed by his great whomping defeat to the British.

I wish that Henry Winkler would be attacked by bees.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/356 "2003-11-10T13:34:58Z")

</div>

damn it, **Dragwyr**

_[ducks quack]_

You wake up the next morning beside the most beautiful woman in the world. She wakes up, dresses and leaves without any demands. In fact, she left you something from her. Hope those genital warts clear up soon. (ouch)

I still wish for Henry Winkler to be attacked by bees.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/357 "2003-11-10T13:36:27Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Governor Quinn \*  
> Woums! You now have your wish. Big hair bands are back in style. Unfortunately, they now play easy-listening.

That is just soooo wrong. ( I am a fan of 80’s hair bands )

```auto
The most beautiful woman in exestence does take you to bed, just for the simple joy of having one last lay, as she has been sentenced to death for being the notoriously famous man killer of the west coast. You have 15 armed guards watching your every move. You hear them laughing at your methods, and finally concede you can not perform under this kind of pressure.
I wish all my laundry could magically fold itself.
```

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/358 "2003-11-10T13:39:34Z")

</div>

_Weeeeeeee—YONG_

**Dragwyr** , you have your night of mad passionate love with the beautiful woman who wants nothing in return. Perhaps that’s because she took everything you owned the day before.

Whatever, you’re just reaching the peak of ecstasy when your erotic tryst is shattered as Henry Winkler crashes into the bedroom, in a viciously buzzing swarm of attacking bees. Everyone flees in terror, in the process trampling into mush **nocturnal\_tick** , who’d snuck in to watch the goings-on and is now a mere smear upon the floor.

Meanwhile, **Governor Quinn’s** laundry has all carefully folded itself into neat piles. These, however, are knocked over and stomped into the mess on the floor left by **nocturnal\_tick**.

I wish I could stop sneezing.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/359 "2003-11-10T13:40:17Z")

</div>

```auto
Henry Winkler gets attacked by bees, his face swells up with big red hives. Hollywood decides this is the new "in" look. Millions of women world wide go to see special "doctors" to have their faces stung by bees to achieve this look.

I wish all my laundry could magically fold itself.
```

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/360 "2003-11-10T13:40:57Z")

</div>

OOOOOPS! That was **misstee** whose laundry suffered death by stampede.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=17)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=19)
