# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/421 "2003-11-11T21:47:17Z")
\<-- kenlivingstonk --\> YOu can level london, but unfortunately the charge for driving 100000 bulldozers into central London is so great that you are bankrupted. Thus you can only manage to build a two up two down Iron Palace. Meanwhile the redevelopers have a field day. I wash … I weeshk …, double dam I would love to be able to make wishk… woshes… I would like to be able to make w\*shes again. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/422 "2003-11-11T21:48:31Z")
ok **ETF** gets her snickers but chocolate can be poisonous to cats and on this occasion is, bye bye **ETF** i wish for a faster internet connection ---
**Author:** ![The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/da6949/32.png) [@The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Immortal_Mango)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/423 "2003-11-11T21:52:38Z")
And Whoooooooop! You wish is granted, unfortunately you are forced to endure the endless perversion to wishes the rest of us suffer. Oh and you have a huge zit in the small of your back. I wish I was a master with the katana. ---
**Author:** ![puggyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@puggyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puggyfish)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/424 "2003-11-11T21:57:47Z")
Fzzzzzup! You do. In fact you’ve had one for quite some time. It’s been lying there right in front of you. Look at it - you want to eat it all, right now. But it’s had enough! There are other worlds to save and hunger to satisfy elsewhere. You reach out, but it’s through the window already and flying off into the night. And it took your wallet. I wish for twelve monkeys that do my bidding and a marmoset that goes round annoying everyone I don’t like. ---
**Author:** ![SpacemanSpiff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@SpacemanSpiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpacemanSpiff)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/425 "2003-11-11T22:02:32Z")
And with a sudden _ICKY-ICKY-PATANG!_ you have become a master of the katana. This is all well and good until you decide to pick your first fight, thinking you katana skills will save you. But lo, even though you are a master of knowing how to use the katana, your speed is little more than a slug crawing uphill. It also doesn’t help that your opponent is armed a little better, prompting him to ask (as he steps over your lifeless body) “Why would anyone bring a knife to a gunfight?” You have certainly bitten off more than you could chew. I wish these voices would tell me to do good things instead of evil… ---
**Author:** ![SpacemanSpiff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@SpacemanSpiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpacemanSpiff)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/426 "2003-11-11T22:06:08Z")
Puggyfish, your wish is granted, and you suddenly have 12 monkeys who will only bid for you on yahoo auctions, not even E-bay. As for the marmoset, well, it turns out that you like yourself least of all, and the marmoset spends most of its time annoying you. I still wish these voices would tell me to do good instead of evil. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/da6949/32.png) [@The\_Immortal\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Immortal_Mango)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/427 "2003-11-11T22:08:43Z")
_Priong!_ THOSE voices are now telling you to do good things, such a pity all things considered that twice as many new voices arrived telling you to attack Fort Noxx(or however its spelt). still look at the birght side, you didn’t do much harm before your bullet ridden body hit the ground. (Referring to an earlier wish) I wish that these voices in my knee will sod off for good, or and I wish I had some popcorn to eat whilst I watch them leave. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/428 "2003-11-11T22:20:28Z")
_Jeannie blink_ Spiff, the voices are telling you to do good things, but they’re only good for J. Lo, who is now President (hey, would you rather have her or Arnold S?) and had declared Ben Affleck immune to every law. It went to Ben’s head and he blew up the middle East, so Madonna threw a hissy fit, and Britney cried a river, Christina A rolled her eyes and Kelly called the cops because of all the noise when she was “trying to $%#@in sleep!!” And Good Charlotte wrote a song about it. Sorry. I really need to cancel my subscription to Entertainment Weekly. I wish I was the owner of a classy Manhattan boutique. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/429 "2003-11-11T22:26:04Z")
\*\* ca-ching \*\* The newest classy botique in Manhattan is **BellaDellaItalia** ’s “exotic shoppe”. It makes all the news, and **BellaDellaItalia** can’t show eir face in decent society again. At least e gets to meet the high society people when they patronize the store. **BigDaiv** has a T3 hookup in his home. Ain’t it kewl! Too bad the hampsters have been downgraded to a POTS connection. I wish I had a whole lot of dates. Tasty desert fruit! ---
**Author:** ![FreeRange\_Maniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/97f17d/32.png) [@FreeRange\_Maniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreeRange_Maniac)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/430 "2003-11-11T23:02:46Z")
You have a LOT of dates…unfortunately they’re all with Michael Jackson look-alikes. I wish I was a supermodel ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/431 "2003-11-11T23:56:59Z")
_blink_ Rhaeven’s a supermodel…too bad she had to move to France to become one, and doesn’t speak a lick of French. On top of that, she can only eat a cracker a day. Model life sucks, doesn’t it?? I wish I had my own TV show ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/432 "2003-11-12T01:41:19Z")
\<\<\\>\> But you do have your own T.V. show darling, every friday you and your three best friends have to provide the entertainmemt at “The Slimelight Bar” dressed up in your opposite sexes clothes. I want a massage from an attractive unmarried lady who likes me. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/433 "2003-11-12T01:43:29Z")
– p.s. the word darling was used in a fabulously gay sort of way, not in a sexist way, I hope y’all understand. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/434 "2003-11-12T04:03:24Z")
_Whompwhompwhomp_ **Bippy** , your wish is granted! A very attractive lady who likes you a lot has begun to massage you. As you lie there in bliss, she pounds on your tight muscles… harder… harder… _harder_… Whoa! Why is she pounding so furiously on your back now? You struggle to sit up, to protest, but are slammed back down on the table. You manage to turn over, full of indignation and frustrated fantasy, but even as her lovely face wheels into view… She rips off the mask that has concealed the alien! Who has been pounding you the way you’d pound a steak! TO TENDERIZE IT!!! Munch munch munch… I wish I had a nice rare steak for supper. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/435 "2003-11-12T05:57:48Z")
- A la pork chops and applesauce! \* You receive a nice, rare (and tender) **Bippy** steak for supper. The alien decides to serve you up as an appetizer ( **ETF** sticks if you must know). The alien sits down and growls hungrily… I wish I had a warm glass of merlot to go with my steak dinner. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/436 "2003-11-12T08:17:56Z")
```auto You have a warm glass of merlot, just after you take a drink, you realize whomever did dishes last forgot to rinse the very glass you are drinking out of. I wish I hadn't got up to go potty, that I was still in a nice warm bed. ``` ---
**Author:** ![sportshoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sportshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sportshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/437 "2003-11-12T11:40:25Z")
kaboom, you are still in your warm bed but you did not go to the potty as you wished so… the bed will not be warm for long, when the urine cools off… I wish I had never met my ex wife… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/438 "2003-11-12T12:58:30Z")
_znort_ You never met your ex-wife, all right. In fact, you’ve never met any women at all, who’d give you the time of day. You end your days in self-imposed exile in the wilds of Siberia, chopping wood and cursing your fate. I wish someone else would do my barn chores this morning. ---
**Author:** ![sportshoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sportshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sportshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/439 "2003-11-12T13:03:06Z")
Woosh, Your bar chores have been done by your neighbour. But he got photographed doing some EXTRA chores with the cheep and because its your barn they think its you… I wish I could be the but-double of Mel Gibson in his newest film ---
**Author:** ![sportshoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sportshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sportshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/440 "2003-11-12T13:04:35Z")
correction, I wish I could be the butt-double of Mel Gibson in his newest film [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=23)