# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![mambozzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@mambozzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambozzy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/461 "2003-11-12T18:56:47Z")
Oh, that’s nice, Bippy. If only you had _wished_ to be a lumberjack… 😃 I wish that every time I opened my wallet, there would be a brand new, legal tender, United States of America Mint $100 bill, while leaving the rest of my wallet, its contents and my other financial interests unaffected. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/462 "2003-11-12T19:10:58Z")
– Now that’s just mean, first I’m not allowed to wisch…weesh…\ then I’m Alien cooked steak, and now I can’t even would like to be – Well **mambozzy** every time you open your wallet there is a brand new mint $100 bill in it, unfortunately the bill is peper-mint and no bank will take it even though it is quite tender and not an illegal mint. I weesh …, I wursh … I want to be able to make w_shes again, and I don’t mean washes or whooshes, I want w_shes where \* is substituted for I, or else things will get pretty nasty arround hear let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![mambozzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@mambozzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambozzy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/463 "2003-11-12T19:25:23Z")
_POOT!!_ Congrats! You can make w_i_shes again. However, you suffer as a modern-day Cassandra because nobody actually _believes_ that you can make wishes. I wish, without limiting anything I may wish to study, my education at the school I’m currently attending was tuition-free. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/464 "2003-11-12T19:50:32Z")
_ **crump** _ **mambozzy** , your education is now tuition-free. Unfortunately, due to a bureaucratic mishap, you have been reassigned to another school in another location. Good luck with the distance learning from Antarctica! I wish I could learn any language in a week. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/465 "2003-11-12T19:57:26Z")
_blink_ You can now learn any language in a week, but that is the only language you can speak all week, so you develop the habit of moving to a different country every monday. I wish this guy I met at work would ask me out. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/466 "2003-11-12T19:58:34Z")
Poof Sunspace can learn any language she wants in a week. However, she can only retains command of the dirty words. She can say cum-farts in 96 languages and counting. (I love the way my wish was granted Bippy.) I wish this wish wasn’t corrupted. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/467 "2003-11-12T20:02:59Z")
DAng, I meant to say “In a few years, she can say cum-farts in 96 languages.” Oh well. Back to BellaDellaItalia since she beat me in. Your wish is granted. He asks you out over the phone and you guys go out. He brings you a lovely corsage to wear on the date similar to what high school kids bring to proms. You find out he is a 38 year old virgin and really grabby. When he went to kiss you goodnight, his breath was so bad it wilted the corsage. You finally realized why he asked you out over the phone as you threw up from the smell. ---
**Author:** ![Spurious\_George](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Spurious\_George](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spurious_George)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/468 "2003-11-12T20:14:03Z")
_Tinkle-tinkle-tink_ OK, it wasn’t corrupted. It was granted in exactly the form you wished it. But you _think_ it was corrupted somehow and will be bitter about it for the rest of your life. I wish I was Batman. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/469 "2003-11-12T20:27:14Z")
_bl!nk_ You are Batman, but in the “New Adventures of Batman and Robin,” where the Joker is working for al Qaida, you aren’t allowed to use any vehicle that begins with bat due to new safety regulations and all your other bat-equipment is impossible to get through airport security. I wish I was a cowgirl. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/470 "2003-11-12T21:02:12Z")
\<\< mmmoooooooooeeeeooooo \>\> You are a cow-girl, a bovine lycanthrope. Once a month on a full moon you turn into a prize Jersy Cow. At least you get lots of free dairy products, and the lawn is well kept. I wish I was a lumberjack. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/471 "2003-11-12T21:12:01Z")
\<\<\\>\> You are a lumberjack…The lumberjack in the Monty Python song. You saw all night and chop all day. And your flannel shirt itches like mad. I wish I could go on a date with Taye Diggs. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/472 "2003-11-12T21:19:38Z")
**dorkusmalorkusmafia** , I’m a _she_ now? I’m going to have to update my picture in the picture thread… 🙂 **BellaDellaItalia** , you are now a cowgirl. In fact, you look like the wife that the Minotaur wishes he had. You cause panic in the streets. You find it difficult to buy clothing cut for your mammalian glands, and _no-one_ ever forgets your eating habits once they see them. I wish I had a car. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/473 "2003-11-12T21:26:22Z")
Crud. _fling!_ **Angel Heart** , you can now go on a date with Taye Diggs. However, mere ability to date means nothing, as Taye’s actions in the courtroom make it insultingly and embarrasingly quite clear that the date will not occur. ☹ I wish I had a car. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/474 "2003-11-12T21:29:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sunspace \* > \*\* I wish I had a car. \*\* _PaSlaikah_ Say hello to your well-used [Yugo!](http://cartalk.cars.com/About/Worst-Cars/results5.html). Tires will be extra and the previous owner felt that oil changes were a government sponsered conspiracy. The smoke that comes out when its running shouldn’t be very toxic though. Enjoy! I wish the cars would stop parking in the bike lane. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/475 "2003-11-12T21:56:43Z")
woppellydoopellydoo Cars stop parking in the bike lane after all the bike lanes are moved to a single bike width lane in the center of every road. I wish I could wear whatever I want to work. ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/476 "2003-11-12T22:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m a she now? I’m going to have to update my picture in the picture thread… That was one of the side effects of your wish. Mwuahahah! Shazam! Bippy can now wear whatever he wants to work since his job finally approved home-officing. However, This also included cameras that watch you constantly placed throughout your house to make sure you actually work. And those times that you went to the computer naked and had some nookie with the spouse were put on the internet by a disgruntled employee who was assigned to watch all the “at-home” employees. Oh I make a wish, oh I make a wish for a potato. (Bonus points if you can name the band.) ---
**Author:** ![mambozzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@mambozzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambozzy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/477 "2003-11-13T00:23:54Z")
Google says it’s the Holy Modal Rounders. Ok so I cheated. _kerplatch!!!_ The potato wanted you to wish it into a field all by itself. All the other potatos were crowding it. I wish I had a magically refilling bowl of chocolate ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/478 "2003-11-13T00:52:37Z")
[sub]ipple[/sub] You have a magically-refilling bowl of chocolate ice cream. As the ice cream is renewed, the average temperature the area drops. Soon, enough ice cream has appeared that the whole neighbourhood is below freezing. Snow falls as warm air from surrounding areas hits the dome of subzero air over your ice cream. The snow mixes with the ever-growing mass of ice cream. A chocolate glacier destroys 37% of your country. I wish I was blond. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/479 "2003-11-13T00:59:50Z")
–sorry - blond joking ahead … **Sunspace** you are blond, in fact you are so blond that you don’t even notice that your hair changed color. But that doesn’t matter because you can’t remamber what it was you wished for anyway. Working from home seems to be going well, but … I wish people wouldn’t look at me strangely whenever I pop into the office for meetings. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/480 "2003-11-13T03:13:35Z")
_fwap_ **Bippy** , people do stop looking at you strangely whenever you pop into the office for meetings. Now they just call security. I wish I didn’t have to drive into a snowstorm on my vacation trip tomorrow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=25)