# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/481 "2003-11-13T03:14:35Z")
They no longer look at you strangely when you go to meetings, instead, they call security, who throw you out with a minimum of fuss. I wish that the Yankees and Lakers would lose every game nexy season… ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/482 "2003-11-13T06:20:17Z")
- Snootchie Bootchies! \* **EddyTeddyFreddy** doesn’t have to drive into a snowstorm tomorrow! Vacation has been canceled and the snowstorm has been brought to your front door. You are doomed to shovel your front walk for the rest of your life. The Yankees and Lakers lose every game next season, mostly because they’re playing full contact tennis and neither team has practiced at all. It’s usually just a huge mess of tangled bodies and rackets. I wish I could have another night like tonight with someone special. ---
**Author:** ![Ninten01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ninten01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ninten01)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/483 "2003-11-13T09:27:20Z")
Ok then, POOOFF: you can now read people’s minds, but sadly your mind can also be read by others and all of your family reject you 'cos of secrets, also your partner and everyone else you know deserts you:P I wish I could go back in time and see on of the Beatles concerts live!! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/484 "2003-11-13T12:56:25Z")
Zubrewsk! You’ve gone back in time to see the concert, alright- but now you can’t go forward. I wish that I held the rank of Field Marshal… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/485 "2003-11-13T13:17:59Z")
_dingus_ You now hold the rank of Field Marshal, but unfortunately you gave it to yourself. You sit in a dark basement all alone, in a poor fitting uniform playing Risk[tm] and giving inspirational speeches to inch-high plastic figures. I still wish for the hilarious consequences of my wish granting!!! Or if not that I wish my english teacher was not here today. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/486 "2003-11-13T14:12:43Z")
_rikkitikkitavi_ **Horseflesh** has another night JUST like last night: Alone. **nocturnal\_tick** collapses in hilarioius laughter at **Horseflesh** ’s frustrated antics. I wish to know the Ultimate Joke (tm, Monty Python). With my dry sense of humor, I might have some resistance to it. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/487 "2003-11-13T14:31:08Z")
- A la fish & chips! \* **Scuba\_Ben** finds the Ultimate Joke…in the crotch of his pants. This is closely followed by the Ultimate Expression of Horror and the Ultimate Embarassment. I wish it was at least 20 degrees warmer outside, but no less than 30 degrees warmer. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/488 "2003-11-13T14:33:12Z")
Err, that would be “no _more_ than 30 degrees warmer”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/489 "2003-11-13T15:27:21Z")
The good news: It’s 25 degrees warmer outside where **Horseflesh** is at. The bad news: The warmth is from Minax’s fiery daemons, who escaped Ye Time of Legends through the moongates. They’re now right outside where you’re at! Will our Stalwart Hero escape from this latest peril? Tune in next time on _Ultima II: Revenge of the Enchantress_! I wish for a good port of _Ultima IV_ into a modern massively multiplayer online first-person shooter game. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/490 "2003-11-13T15:53:14Z")
_zotti_ You get a good, nay excellent, port of _Ultima IV_ into a modern massively multiplayer online first-person shooter game, but since no one knows what the hell you’re talking about you have to play it all by yourself. (You do rack up some nice scores, though.) I wish I was in Dixie. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/491 "2003-11-13T16:14:04Z")
- ala bravo cecil! \* You are a player in _Dixie_, the latest massively multiplayer online role-playing game, based in the Old South, pre-Civil War. Because you don’t know what an MMORPG is, let alone what to do in one, your character keeps getting lynched by _everybody_. I wish to replace the SDMB’s hampsters with instant coffee grounds. Let’s see if anybody notices… ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/492 "2003-11-13T16:15:08Z")
Hooray Hooray. In Dixie land you took your stand to live and die in Dixie, oh way down south in Dixie. I like making wishes for a potato. However, I wish my lunch will consist of a most delicious baked potato. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/493 "2003-11-13T16:27:24Z")
– Semprinni – **BJMoose** (does the BJ stand for what I think it does?) Is in Dixie, in fact in all three Dixie Chicks at the same time. They invited you up to their hotel room after a concert they put on in your honor. Unfortunately they are all space Aliens and you are sushi. I wish my penis was prehensile. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/494 "2003-11-13T17:04:37Z")
- A la multiple orgasms! \* Combining wishes, **dorkusmalorkusmafia** gets the world’s best baked potato…served on **Bippy** ’s prehensile penis. Unfortunately for **BtB** , **dorkus** has 7 inch fangs and a bite strength that will snap steel beams. I wish I could lasso the moon and bring it closer. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/495 "2003-11-13T19:48:31Z")
:: nonchalant wave of the hand :: **Horseflesh** lassos the Moon – at the same time as Bruce, from Bruce Almighty. The two get into a cosmic game of Tug-of-War. Their struggle dislodges the _Eagle_ from Mare Tranquilitas, which falls to Earth and lands right on top of Bart Sibrel, killing him instantly. **Horseflesh** is so astonished at this beneficial side effect of eir wish, that e loses the Tug-of-War match. Bruce drags away the Moon. I still wish to replace the SDMB’s hampsters with instant coffee grounds. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/496 "2003-11-13T21:05:29Z")
**folj!** The SDMB’s hamsters are replaced with instant coffee grounds. The boards grind to a halt. The coffee grounds still smell of coffee, though: their bitter brown fragrance attracts legions of star-nosed moles. The moles criss-cross the server room looking for the source of the smell. They find it in the ex-hamsters’ power-transduction (“exercise”) wheels, and, being moles, they sink their little noses into it and start digging. The wheels start to turn. The moles become excited by the remaining caffeine. The wheels turn faster. Soon the SDMB is back to normal, and even better. A week later, an army of royally-pissed hamster relatives corner **Scuba\_Ben** in a dark alley, and he suffers a horrible fate. I wish I had a _good_ car. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/497 "2003-11-13T21:28:59Z")
Sunspace has a good car. Good in the year 1930. I wish I was a multi-platinum mtv-award-winning female rapper. ---
**Author:** ![sportshoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sportshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sportshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/498 "2003-11-14T07:41:08Z")
Kabooom You are a multi-platinum mtv-award-winning female rapper. But because you have been shaking your ass all day long for years and years you get an incurable backinjury, paralysed to the waiste downl, getting you in a wheelchair and a plastic bag with yellow substance next to it. I wish I could get BellaDellaItalia in bed (not for sleeping) ---
**Author:** ![Labor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Labor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/499 "2003-11-14T16:46:14Z")
POW You now have BellaDellaItalia in bed, however, it turns out that BellaDellaItalia is the illuminaty’s term for sleeping with the fishes, you are never heard from again. I want to be the world’s greatest tuba player. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/500 "2003-11-14T16:54:53Z")
Ding-a-ling, done! You are now the world’s greatest tuba player, and the cornerstone of the most popular polka band in the tiny, formerly East German town of Forst, right on the Polish border. And your band pays you in pilsner. I wish the roads in New Jersey were free of potholes and ruts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=26)