# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 26
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/501 "2003-11-14T17:46:01Z")
_na na na na na na na na batman_ The roads in New Jersey are now free of potholes and ruts but only because they were filled with old, discarded mine from days-gone-by. Its now a game of Russian Roulette when you go to the shops. I wish to be a moderator on the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/502 "2003-11-14T19:01:50Z")
You’re now a moderator, but you’re stuck on the Atlantic City Boardwalk (aka **the boards** ) because nobody will drive on the streets in New Jersey to come pick you up. I wish that the third Matrix movie hadn’t sucked. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/503 "2003-11-14T19:09:16Z")
_ala Sonny & Cher!_ You’re now a moderator, \*\* nocturnal\_tick. \*\* In fact, you’re \*\* UncleBeer! \*\* Unfortunately, since he’s been shutting down so many of our precious “Predict the…” threads, the general doper attitude toward him has been cold lately. Very cold. In fact, several of us are planning to steal his own personal hamsters and train them to poison his mock turtle soup with pesiticides. Sorry… I wish I had a bodyguard. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/504 "2003-11-14T19:15:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jurph \* > \*\*I wish that the third Matrix movie hadn’t sucked. \*\* _Poof_ Your wish is granted. As a matter of fact, the thrid Matrix movie was so great, Keanu wins the Oscar for best actor. Thus subjecting us to a whole string of movies where he plays characters that actually require him to act and has as much success at that as he has in the past. Oh, yeah, and they make a sequel to _Point Break_. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BellaDellaItalia \* > \*\*I wish I had a bodyguard. \*\* _Poof_ You do. Unfortuantely, it’s Kevin Costner and he follows you everywhere and performs his own rendition of “I Will Always Love You.” I wish someone would take our two cats. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/505 "2003-11-14T19:18:30Z")
_fwap_ Your two cats are taken… and replaced with two even BIGGER cats who scratch the furniture, pee all over the place, and shed 24 hours a day. I wish I had incredibly good luck about everything. ---
**Author:** ![fd10801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e5b9ba/32.png) [@fd10801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fd10801)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/506 "2003-11-14T19:56:36Z")
“… Go-go gadget wish granter…” You can read people’s minds, all right, but all at the same time, and you can’t tell who is who… I wish I lived on a farm and a ranch. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/507 "2003-11-14T20:01:15Z")
Hey – what happened to _my_ wish??? ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/508 "2003-11-14T20:06:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by godzillatemple \* > \*\*Hey – what happened to _my_ wish??? \*\* Must have something to do with your lack of good luck. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/509 "2003-11-14T20:23:08Z")
Oh, great. I killed another thread… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![RCracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@RCracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RCracer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/510 "2003-11-14T21:41:59Z")
Ok, you have incredibly good luck, but that means everyone else in the entire world has bad luck and so they all hate you, hence you becoming the most unpopular man on Earth, and when they all try to attack you, your good luck deflects all their attacks and they end up dead themselves, hence you soon becoming the only man left on Earth, who has to fend for himself, lucky huh? I wish for world peace:D ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/511 "2003-11-14T22:02:32Z")
_ala fruit & creme starburst_ World peace it is! Peace between all the animals of the world. Humans are still as argumentative as ever, though, and the animals team up against us and use us as thier doting slaves, and all the nations of the world are forced to forever serve the local wildlife. I wish everyone loved me! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/512 "2003-11-14T22:07:45Z")
**Bbbbbooommmm** **ThreeCats** Everyone loved you, they did, but now they keep ringing up asking if they can just be friends, coz your really nice and everything, but like the spark wasn’t really there… I wish someone loves me. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/513 "2003-11-14T22:41:15Z")
Wazewski! Someone now loves you, but now they want to live with you. I wish that I were President of the New York Stock Exchange… ---
**Author:** ![mambozzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@mambozzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambozzy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/514 "2003-11-14T22:43:44Z")
_Shamma-Lammma, Ding Dong_ Somebody loves you! It’s me! Bad news is, I’m a third year freshman criminal justice major at a second-rate school with a 1.66 GPA, I have a LOT of body hair, and I smell…like almonds…and a rubber beachball. And I’m lonely. (NOTE: The above statements are only _mostly_ true.) I wish I had all the powers of a genie without all that “trapped in a bottle, slave to whoever finds it” stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/515 "2003-11-14T23:50:59Z")
_poof_ you’re now a genie, but now, instead of being trapped in a bottle, you’re trapped inside a toilet bowl and no one ever finds you - have fun with eternity! I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/516 "2003-11-15T00:55:05Z")
**Archen** though you are a hairdresser with an unfortunate phobia of hair. What you really want to be is a lumberjack. I wish I knew all the answers to all the questions. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/517 "2003-11-15T01:13:05Z")
_Julie Andrews!_ You know all the answers to all the questions. Now when any body talks about anything you interrupt them with lengthy monologs on whatever it is they were talking about, from Bee-keeping to Zoroastrianism. You lose all your friends and are driven into the wilderness by a torch-bearing mob. I wish I could always eat free at any restaurant any time I wanted. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/518 "2003-11-15T01:16:22Z")
Ding! The world’s your oyster (so to speak), but unfortunately for you, you contract Hepatitis A from a very dirty salad bar and die. Just because it would appall the rest of the world, I wish for the American national men’s soccer team to win the next World Cup. ---
**Author:** ![mambozzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@mambozzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambozzy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/519 "2003-11-15T01:39:57Z")
_Bippity boppity boo_ The American Soccer team (there is one?) wins the World Cup, but only because the Brazillians’ airplane landed kind of hard and they all ate each other before the pilot could explain that they hadn’t actually crashed. I wish I could play hockey really well, but just as a hobby. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/520 "2003-11-15T02:34:09Z")
Sha-Na-Na! And so you do – as you are determined to prove to your friends this winter, as soon as the local lake freezes over. Unfortunately, the combination of global warming and industrial wastewater runoff leave the ice precariously thin… and you don’t swim well in ice skates. I wish I could eat eggplant, squash, and bananas without gagging. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=25) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=27)