# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/621 "2003-11-18T17:48:49Z")
^%%& **ipple** &%%^ The rain stops. Everywhere. After a time, the oceans evaporate and the Earth dies. I wish thet all the tinpot tyrants plaguing the world (and their morality-impaired supporters) grew up, governed fairly, and let their countries advace to peace, liberty, and prosperity. (Mr Mugabe, I’m talking about YOU!) ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/622 "2003-11-18T19:04:01Z")
_rurrurrurrurrurrurackgasppuffpuffurggasppuffeekgagpuffaaaaiiiiiieeeeeethunk_ [official answer to the _koan_, “What is the sound of one hamster multitasking”] So mote it be. But as the countries prosper, they devote more resourses to maintaining and increasing their prosperity, eventually at the expense of others who, of course, are doing the same schtick. Eventually we wind up where we are now (only this time Canada doesn’t get ignored and overlooked). Aside to whomever it was about 18 pages back who asked if the BJ in BJMoose meant what eir thought it did: wadaya think it means? (hint: it sure ain’t Bon Jovi). I dearly wish Nell Fenwick were of my species. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_scratch_fever)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/623 "2003-11-18T19:26:29Z")
Poof You’re a cartoon ; just like Nell Fenwick. But you’re stuck in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles instead of Rocky and Bullwinkle and you’ll never meet. I wish I got paid to just sit here and be stunning ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/624 "2003-11-18T19:44:19Z")
- Hahahahahahahaha… Wipeout! \* Congratulations! You get your low paying dream job of picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head. It’s a boring job but you seem ecstatic performing this grisly task over and over. Eventually you take to bopping everything over the head, which works fine for a day or two until you happen along a roadside biker bar. I wish I was over there. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/625 "2003-11-18T20:13:56Z")
**whinney** You are over there. But, as somebody said about somebody or something (help me, folks) “there is no _there_ there”. I wish I had the wit, charm, command of the language, intelligence, wine cellar and job seniority of Cecil Adams. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/626 "2003-11-18T20:13:56Z")
_razzamatazz_ **Horseflesh** is now travelling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead - your next stop, The Twilight Zone. I wish I had a yellow submarine. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_scratch_fever)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/627 "2003-11-18T20:33:56Z")
You have a yellow submarine, but we ALL live in it, as the song goes and though you own it - there’s no space for you to fit inside. I wish I hadn’t chose the path most traveled. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/628 "2003-11-18T20:53:44Z")
_KLUNK_ You chose the path less traveled. In fact, no one else ever goes there. You discover why when your car bounces off some rocks and veers off into a ditch, breaking both axles. When you try to call for help, you find that your cellphone doesn’t work. You decide to walk back the way you came, but you don’t recognize the landmarks and take a wrong turn. Some hunters find your mummified body (or what the coyotes have left of it) five years later. I wish my supper were waiting, already prepared for me, when I get home tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/629 "2003-11-18T21:02:58Z")
Your supper is waiting for you at home, your cats prepared it for you, in fact they caught and killed the blackbird which is even now waiting for you in the kitchen. I still wish I was back in Windsor, UK. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/630 "2003-11-18T21:07:14Z")
\*\*\* HHONNKKKK!!! \*\*\* Your supper is waiting, already prepared for you, when you get home tonight. Oh, it’s prepared all right: it’s in the best of shape, taut muscles tense, eyes fixated on your door with all the single-minded fanaticism of a starving ermine watching a mousehole. Occasionally it licks its lips. You die suddenly, just after you open your door. I wish I were more popular. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/631 "2003-11-18T21:13:20Z")
Crud. Simulpost. _Again._ \<\<\\>\> You are back in Windsor, UK. You are discovered hideously trapped, your atoms irreversably mixed with those of a Windsor hillside when the wish deposited you there. Only your head protrudes. You die shortly thereafter. I wish I were more popular. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_scratch_fever)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/632 "2003-11-18T21:28:39Z")
Sunspace you’re more popular - but only among trekkies. I wish I had been a banana for halloween instead of a hot dog. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/633 "2003-11-18T22:08:19Z")
_sllllllip_ You were a banana instead of a hot dog at Halloween. Thus, instead of being chased by hungry hounds, you were pursued, peeled, and devoured by an escaped gorilla. I wish my computer screen were larger. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/634 "2003-11-18T22:27:56Z")
_Sha-zaaaam!_ **ETF** your computer screen is larger—196 feet larger, and counting. It continues to grow even after it crashed through the roof last week. I wish I could meet 50 Cent. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Cat\_scratch\_fever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_scratch_fever)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/635 "2003-11-18T23:20:10Z")
Bella Della Italia You Meet 50 cent In Da Club, and come to find that he’s really just vanilla ice with a mask on. I wish I knew what to do tonight. ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/636 "2003-11-19T01:33:20Z")
You know what to do tonight. Unfortunately, you’re paralyzed and can’t do it. For the rest of your life. I wish I knew what J. Lo feels like. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/637 "2003-11-19T02:47:59Z")
\ ***squelch** You know what JLo feels like, all right – you’re her masseuse. And she’s a bitch to please. I wish someone would give me a nice relaxing massage – no sex, just a good massage. ---
**Author:** ![aye5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@aye5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aye5)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/638 "2003-11-19T03:48:27Z")
“zoink…” you can have the massage but as payment you’ll have to give the masseuse a bj. I wish I’m super duper herculian so could punch the jerk who said I was ugly! ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/639 "2003-11-19T07:45:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BJMoose \* > \*\*I wish I had the wit, charm, command of the language, intelligence, wine cellar and job seniority of Cecil Adams. \*\* ka-ching: You have the wit, charm, command of the language, intelligence, wine cellar and job seniority of Cecil Adams. But nobody notices. Now for my wish. A little background, first. I am a jolly farmer, last night I came to town, to bring a bale of cotton, I’d worked the whole year round. I put my team in the wagon yard and bought me a bottle of gin. I went out to see the 'lectric lights and watch the cars come in. I met a dude out on the street, that clock was strikin’ nine. He said, “Come on old hayseed, take a drink, it’s mine.” I must have bought a dozen drinks, 'cause it hit my pocketbook hard. I wish I’d a bought me a half a pint and stayed in the wagon yard. Yours truly Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia ---
**Author:** ![sportshoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sportshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sportshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/640 "2003-11-19T11:34:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aye5 \* > \*\*" I wish I’m super duper herculian so could punch the jerk who said I was ugly! \*\* sswoooooosh You are now super duper herculian so you can punch the jerk who said you were ugly. But because you are so strong now, you punch your fist half way his head killing him instantly. You had a clean criminal record but because you killed him for only telling the thruth you get 3 times life. They cant lock you up because you are too strong so they electrocute you. I wish women with hair on their armpits and legs would get a fine [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=33)