# Corrupt Wish Game!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 2, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951 "2003-11-02T04:37:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/741 "2003-11-24T21:56:49Z")
**BellaDellaItalia** Your unspoken wish has been granted! Unfortunately you are far too embarrassed to tell anyone what that wish was. **Scuba\_Ben** will go to the Olympics as part of the staff for his (amateur competition) teammate. Your teammate is unfortunately entered to compete in the BDSM Olympics freestyle muff diving event due to a mix up in his/her entry forms. You get to help him/her warm up for the event. I wish all my stored procedures worked first time without any need for debugging. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/742 "2003-11-24T23:43:10Z")
_ **ping** _ **Bippy** all your stored procedures work flawlessly, first time, no bugs at all. You, however, develop muscle tremors so severe (I told you to lay off the Jolt Cola!) that you keep on hitting the wrong keys at crucial moments, crashing and recrashing your computer till the hard drive fries. I wish I had a warmer coat to wear home tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/743 "2003-11-25T00:49:28Z")
You have a warmer coat to wear home tonight. Unfortunately, you live in Alice Springs, Australia, where it’s heading for summer in the desert and it might get down to thirty degrees Celsius at midnight. You can’t get the coat off. Ever. In spite of the fact that the emergency medical team has to resort to refrigerating your blood, you die of heat prostration. I wish my friends’ mortgage was paid off. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/744 "2003-11-25T01:49:49Z")
Your friends’ mortgage has been paid off. Unfortunately your ‘friend’ borrowed your ID and got a loan from the Mafia to make the payment. There’s a guy knocking on you door, want’s to talk to you about late repayment penalties. I wish you would stop hitting your spouse. ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/745 "2003-11-25T02:16:29Z")
!!!SLAP!!! Your wish succeeds beyond your wildest dreams. Not only do I stop hitting my spouse, and they stop hitting their spouses, but everyone everywhere stop hitting spouses. The world is suffused in matramonial bliss. 2 things go wrong, however. Now everyone (as opportunity allows) hits your spouse. And everyone hits anyone who is not their spouse. this leads to a decline in the number of new marriages (it hard to propose to someone who is hitting you and whom you are busy hitting). And the birth rate drops precipitously. Not to zero, oddly enough. There seems to be enough people who like the new arrangement that the species will not die out right away. The last 1000 years, however, are such a sadist and masochist festival that I even blush. I wish for a couple wholesome thoughts \ ---
**Author:** ![BellaDellaItalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BellaDellaItalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellaDellaItalia)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/746 "2003-11-25T02:32:15Z")
You have a couple of wholesome thoughts, too bad they’re about whole-grain wheat bread. Yum!! I wish I knew whether or not my niece was stoned last night, or just hyper. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/747 "2003-11-25T05:10:28Z")
:: prrmmmpppp… prrmmmpppp… _poff_ prmmbrmbruumrumrubrrumbrambramBRAAAAA_pof_AAAAAAAmmbraaAAAAAAAAAAAA… :: You know whether your niece was stoned last night, or just hyper. Unfortunately, the answer was ‘neither’. The CIA mind-control rays had inadvertently affected her hypothalamus, altering the sodium/potassium ratios in her nerve cells, and causing her brain to run a little quicker than usual. Things are back to normal. You readjust your tinfoil hat, happy in the knowledge that They Wont Get _You_. I wish that there were thirty hours in the day, so that I could get everythiong done _and_ get enough sleep. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/748 "2003-11-25T06:05:36Z")
:::tickticktocktick::: Ah, **Sunspace** , why’d you go and wish for 30 hours in the day? Now we’ve got them – and to fit them in, they’ve been reduced to 48 minutes per hour. Result? The workday is now 11 hours long, and boy, does it ever drag. You _do_ get eight hours’ sleep, though – eight 48-minute hours. I wish my nose would stop itching. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/749 "2003-11-25T14:25:50Z")
_Coochiemama_ EddyTeddyFreddy’s nose stops itching… but your butt starts itching… uncontrollably. I wish I had a hot fudge sundae to eat right now. ---
**Author:** ![Anyonghaseyo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Anyonghaseyo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anyonghaseyo)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/750 "2003-11-25T14:51:21Z")
> [@](#): > > I wish I had a hot fudge sundae to eat right now. _Alaca-poofity-bipity-bopity-boo_ You got your sundae, and boy is the fudge hot – try about 3000º! Have fun with your instantly vaporized ice cream (and the bowl, and whatever the bowl was sitting on, and etc. etc. …) I wish I could speak fluent Korean (without losing my current ability in English, hah!). ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/751 "2003-11-25T15:09:20Z")
**Bippy** , seeing as my teammate is (1) female, (2) flexible enough to side kick over her own head, (3) about my age, and (4) I was briefly infatuated with her some time ago, I don’t see any drawbacks to how you granted my wish. 🙂 Add in the point that she’s a high ranking black belt and entitled to be addressed as “Master,” and your granting becomes _quite_ interesting. 😃 Back to the game… \*\*\* Foobar! \*\*\* **Anyonghaseyo** now speaks fluent Old Korean. This enables em to work on eir doctorate in Ancient Languages of the Far East, and converse with the handful of other world experts in Old Korean. E becomes a professor of Old Korean, gets tenure, and does nothing of significance for the rest of eir life. I wish **BellaDellaItalia** ’s post of **Governor Quinn** ’s death by sealskin was actually a corrupted granting of a wish (thus making Bella’s post belong in this thread). ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/752 "2003-11-25T15:57:26Z")
\ This thread is now the predict the death of the last poster thread, so everyone except **Bella** has been posting to the wrong thread! **Scuba\_Ben** dies terribly due to the fact that everyone who is not your spouce slaps everyone else who is not their spouce. **Scuba** ’s teammate unfortunately slaps VERY hard, rendering him almost senseless, and then strangles/drowns him with a crossed leg neck hold. I wish I didn’t have such a dirty mind. ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/753 "2003-11-25T16:53:07Z")
ALA perversions away! Your mind is no longer so dirty at all. In fact by the standard of comparison to everyone else, you have the cleanest mind in the land (did I mention that your actuall thoughts have not changed). Everyone everywhere now has strong visualisations of an _extreeeeeeeeemely_ dirty nature once or twice a second. **And Behold for they are become perverted!** The incessent visualising of naughty things leads to an increased boredom with hollywood titilation. Baywatch fails. Victorias secret becomes common knowledge. Writers, moviemakers, and advertisers are forced to resort to clever plots to make money. People stop sneeking and hiding their private deviancies. Lying becomes almost extinct. Joy is rampant throughout the land. Except for Bippy. He has become bored with what is now his clean mind and soon expires from a lack of will to survive. \< just a second while I enjoy the fantasy\>… OK, I wish I could live in such a world as this. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/754 "2003-11-25T17:17:52Z")
– asside from the game – You do **pervert** , you do 😉 – carry on chaps – ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/755 "2003-11-25T17:50:58Z")
^ HRONNNKKKK! PARP PARP! ^ **Pervert**. you _can_ live in such a world. But you don’t. 😃 I wish Michael Jackson would become sane. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/756 "2003-11-25T18:50:32Z")
— wibble — Since sanity is a relitive concept, sanity has been defined as like Michael Jackson. Unfortunately all of us who consider hanging out with underage children as a bit twisted are now certifiably insane, and are sent to government sanitoriums where we are forced to watch Michael Jackson videos until we become as sane as M.J. himself. I wish that the next poster would corrupt this wish. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/757 "2003-11-25T19:47:26Z")
_fleurtzpookh_ The next poster corrupted your wish. Therefore the wish was undone. So the next poster had no wish to corrupt. So he didn’t corrupt your wish. So your original wish stood. Giving the next poster something to corrupt. So: The next poster corrupted your wish. Therefore the wish was undone. So the next . . . (the nice thing about this is that the execution of this endless loop will give the hamsters a chance to take a holiday) I wish I had something to wish for. (if someone’s already done this, then I wish I hadn’t said it) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/758 "2003-11-25T20:06:29Z")
**BJMoose** , you have something to wish for, all right: You wish you had nothing to wish for. And your wish that you hadn’t said that is granted, so everyone else ignores your wish. In fact, the Wish-Granting Fairies™ are so confused by your erratic wishing that they throw up their hands and never grant you a wish again in your whole life. I wish I’d get a lot of responses to my latest thread. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/759 "2003-11-25T21:08:37Z")
**EddyTeddyFreddy** would be getting lots of responses if it wasn’t for the fact that we have been taking too many steroids are are just to angry to post anything without using the words ‘Snunk Feltcher’. I wish all the evil people in the world would change into cute little bunny rabbits. ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951/760 "2003-11-25T22:26:53Z")
Dyslexic genie turns all evil people into **rabid bippys**. Oops. I wish that the sky was orange and purple. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupt-wish-game/210951.md?page=39)