# Corrupted Wish Game

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837>\
**Category:** The Game Room\
**Created:** [May 3, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837 "2008-05-03T01:33:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 15

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/281 "2008-05-13T20:37:02Z")

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[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]  
Done. Now, your cat doesn’t shed at all. However, because it’s now a hairless, it looks like [this](http://www.funmansion.com/pics/worlds_ugliest_cat.html). Your mate is squicked out by it, leaves you and takes the kids. You’re devastated and turn to drink. You miss so much work that you’re fired, lose you pension, everything. The house your wife generously let you keep is foreclosed on and your car is re-possessed. None of your relatives will take you in and the shelters reject you because your feet smell like limburger cheese. You end up in a cardboard box down under the expressway bridge.

But the cat sticks by you through it all…  
[/QUOTE]

Well… as long as I have Sal, I guess I’ll be OK. =Whew!=

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**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/282 "2008-05-13T22:18:45Z")

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[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]  
Done. Now, your cat doesn’t shed at all. However, because it’s now a hairless, it looks like [this](http://www.funmansion.com/pics/worlds_ugliest_cat.html). Your mate is squicked out by it, leaves you and takes the kids. You’re devastated and turn to drink. You miss so much work that you’re fired, lose you pension, everything. The house your wife generously let you keep is foreclosed on and your car is re-possessed. None of your relatives will take you in and the shelters reject you because your feet smell like limburger cheese. You end up in a cardboard box down under the expressway bridge.

But the cat sticks by you through it all.

I wish that I pick the right restaurant to order from this evening so I’ll get the string fries I really like and not the undercooked chips of cellulose the other restaurant serves.  
[/QUOTE]

Done, unfortunately the restaurant spent so much time getting the string fries just right that they ignored basic sanitation and food handling guidelines. As a result, you now have a case of food poisoning that will confine you to the bathroom for a week.

Even though I’m a Cardinals fan, I wish the Cubs would win the World Series. After all, it’s been 100 years.

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**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/283 "2008-05-13T22:28:58Z")

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[QUOTE=kunilou]  
Done, unfortunately the restaurant spent so much time getting the string fries just right that they ignored basic sanitation and food handling guidelines. As a result, you now have a case of food poisoning that will confine you to the bathroom for a week.

Even though I’m a Cardinals fan, I wish the Cubs would win the World Series. After all, it’s been 100 years.  
[/QUOTE]

The Cubs win the world series, causing Satan to buy winter coats at an unheard of rate. The cost of winter clothes has skyrocketed because of your wish, and now good people have to go cold. And it’s all your fault!

I wish the new Civilization game would just come out already!

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**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/284 "2008-05-14T00:40:02Z")

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It does, but, under the Grand Incremental Design Strategy that most game companies pursue nowadays, the 5th iteration is just more of the same, and you (and I) become incredibly bored with it very quickly.

I wish someone would take the Civilization series, melt down (figuratively you \*\*\*\*ing genie) all the core concepts, and rebuild it all from scratch (fresh new routines for everything from combat to tech to diplomacy) such that I don’t become annoyedly bored with the next iteration 3 hours into my 1st game.

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/285 "2008-05-14T12:45:08Z")

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[QUOTE=John DiFool]  
It does, but, under the Grand Incremental Design Strategy that most game companies pursue nowadays, the 5th iteration is just more of the same, and you (and I) become incredibly bored with it very quickly.

I wish someone would take the Civilization series, melt down (figuratively you \*\*\*\*ing genie) all the core concepts, and rebuild it all from scratch (fresh new routines for everything from combat to tech to diplomacy) such that I don’t become annoyedly bored with the next iteration 3 hours into my 1st game.  
[/QUOTE]

Done, and with a sufficient amount of style. So much so that it’s no longer really a game. All of civilization has melted down, and we’re back at square one. You might want to explore the concept of simple stone tools. Og smash.

I wish I’d ironed my shirt this morning.

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**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/286 "2008-05-14T12:51:11Z")

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Granted, your shirt is ironed. With a big burn mark on the back.  
I would like to have a 3 Musketeers candy bar.

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/287 "2008-05-14T13:28:37Z")

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[QUOTE=racer72]  
…I would like to have a 3 Musketeers candy bar.  
[/QUOTE]

You have it, but for some reason you find the wrapper utterly impenetrable. You finally throw it away in frustration.

I wish to be The All Being, master of time, space and dimension.

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/288 "2008-05-14T14:58:31Z")

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[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
I wish to be The All Being, master of time, space and dimension.  
[/QUOTE]

Granted. Your job from now on is to set clocks and rearrange furniture. Everywhere.

I wish the people in the conference room would shut the fuck up.

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/289 "2008-05-14T15:01:42Z")

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[QUOTE=tdn]  
…I wish the people in the conference room would shut the fuck up.  
[/QUOTE]

Didn’t we do this one already?

They shut the fuck up because they’ve put on music which you hate, and have cranked up the volume far louder than they’d earlier been talking.

I wanna go to Europe.

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**Author:** ![CatInASuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3be4f8/32.png) [@CatInASuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInASuit)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/290 "2008-05-14T15:14:06Z")

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[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
I wanna go to Europe.  
[/QUOTE]

You can’t because you didn’t wish for it.

I wish my bus would run on time.

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/291 "2008-05-14T15:22:20Z")

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It runs on time, but now your watch is broken and you miss it.

I wish I could go to Europe.

Asshole. 😛

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/292 "2008-05-14T15:43:32Z")

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[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
I wish I could go to Europe.

Asshole. 😛  
[/QUOTE]

You’ve got it. You’re going to Europe’s asshole.

I wish for weather just like this, only a bit warmer, on my upcoming vacation.

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/293 "2008-05-14T18:11:04Z")

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_Poof_ Done. The weather’s great. However, you’re killed in a horrific plane crash as you arrive.

I wish I knew where Europe’s asshole is, anyway.

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**Author:** ![CatInASuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3be4f8/32.png) [@CatInASuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInASuit)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/294 "2008-05-14T18:15:13Z")

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[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
_Poof_ Done. The weather’s great. However, you’re killed in a horrific plane crash as you arrive.

I wish I knew where Europe’s asshole is, anyway.  
[/QUOTE]

Welcome to America. 😛

I wish not to be flamed for my previous wish granting 😃

d&r

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**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/295 "2008-05-14T18:30:02Z")

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[QUOTE=CatInASuit]  
Welcome to America. 😛

I wish not to be flamed for my previous wish granting 😃

[/QUOTE]  
You’ll not be flamed for that but the granting of the wish has to to contain a corruption of the wish.

Please try again or this is the next wish:

[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
I wish I knew where Europe’s asshole is, anyway.  
[/QUOTE]

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/296 "2008-05-14T18:35:11Z")

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[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
_Poof_ Done. The weather’s great. However, you’re killed in a horrific plane crash as you arrive.  
[/QUOTE]

Odd, as I’m taking a train.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![CatInASuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3be4f8/32.png) [@CatInASuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInASuit)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/297 "2008-05-14T18:39:25Z")

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[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]  
You’ll not be flamed for that but the granting of the wish has to to contain a corruption of the wish.

Please try again  
[/QUOTE]

No probs.

[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir]  
_Poof_ Done. The weather’s great. However, you’re killed in a horrific plane crash as you arrive.

I wish I knew where Europe’s asshole is, anyway.  
[/QUOTE]

You regret finding out all about Europe’s asshole, when he sits all 500 pounds of his sticky, greasy naked flesh on top of you, causing the paramedics, fireman and assorted passers-by no end of laughter and photo opportunites when they come to rescue you.

I wish not to be flamed for my previous wish granting

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/298 "2008-05-14T18:48:48Z")

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[QUOTE=CatInASuit]  
You regret finding out all about Europe’s asshole, when he sits all 500 pounds of his sticky, greasy naked flesh on top of you, causing the paramedics, fireman and assorted passers-by no end of laughter and photo opportunites when they come to rescue you.  
[/QUOTE]  
Gooooood One!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/299 "2008-05-14T18:58:27Z")

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[QUOTE=CatInASuit]  
I wish not to be flamed for my previous wish granting  
[/QUOTE]

I shall make it so. In fact, I will empty an entire fire extinguisher on you.

I wish that Hostess fruit pies taste just like they do, but are nutritionally equivelant to a small salad with vinagrette dressing, only cost 29 cents, and are available in every store. I also wish that some of them are lingonberry flavored.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [May 14, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/300 "2008-05-14T19:08:17Z")

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[QUOTE=tdn]  
…I wish that Hostess fruit pies taste just like they do, but are nutritionally equivelant to a small salad with vinagrette dressing, only cost 29 cents, and are available in every store. I also wish that some of them are lingonberry flavored.  
[/QUOTE]

Granted. However, the genie makes every other kind of food disappear, and in time you grow weary even of Hostess fruit pies’ sugary, crusty, fruity deliciousness.

I wish the genie would grow weary of subverting wishes, and instead give effect to the genuine intent of those who make wishes.

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