# Corrupted Wish Game **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [May 3, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837 "2008-05-03T01:33:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/61 "2008-05-04T00:53:42Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] Poof! They’re there, but they’re not yours. They belong to some woman named Lucy. I wish I could spend a fun day at the carnival. [/QUOTE] I have a bonus for you. Not only is it a carnival, but the annual clown convention. You’ll be at the carnival with THOUSANDS of clowns, all in full makeup and costume. Everywhere you go – while you’re eating, using the restroom, competing in rigged games of skill. Every time you turn a corner you’ll walk smack dab into a clown. Plus one or more of the carnies will ask to have sex with you. WHEEEEE! I wish I could have a dinner party, with the food prepared by the world’s best chef (no food poisoning), and a guest list of the greatest living thinkers. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/62 "2008-05-04T00:54:49Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] Poof! They’re there, but they’re not yours. They belong to some woman named Lucy. I wish I could spend a fun day at the carnival. [/QUOTE] You have a fun day at the carnival, but it’s evening and you can’t find your way out of the hall of mirrors. Ever! I wish for genuine Yowie. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/63 "2008-05-04T00:57:34Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] I wish I could have a dinner party, with the food prepared by the world’s best chef (no food poisoning), and a guest list of the greatest living thinkers. [/QUOTE] You have the best food a person could want, unfortunately the invites were never sent out to the people on the list. Enjoy the food and list. I wish for genuine Yowie. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/64 "2008-05-04T02:17:54Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] You have the best food a person could want, unfortunately the invites were never sent out to the people on the list. Enjoy the food and list. I wish for genuine Yowie. [/QUOTE] No problem at all. [QUOTE=Wikipedia] In a modern context, Yowie is the generic (and somewhat affectionate) term for the unidentified hominid reputed to lurk in the Australian wilderness. It is an Australian cryptid similar to the Himalayan Yeti and the North American Bigfoot. [/QUOTE] It’s all yours. By the way, it’s hungry, and it’s not housebroken. I wish I could compose the most beautiful symphony ever written, and live to hear it performed by the greatest orchestra ever assembled. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/65 "2008-05-04T02:41:18Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] I wish I could compose the most beautiful symphony ever written, and live to hear it performed by the greatest orchestra ever assembled. [/QUOTE] You compose this masterpiece, and hear it performed by the greatest orchestra ever assembled. The concert is billed as composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber who the world now thinks wrote this masterpiece. I wish for a garden like the hanging gardens of Babylon when they were in prime condition. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/66 "2008-05-04T03:37:23Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] I wish for a garden like the hanging gardens of Babylon when they were in prime condition. [/QUOTE] Too bad you didn’t do your research because then you would have known that the hanging gardens were composed entirely of poison ivy. Shame about that nasty itchy rash. I wish you love. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/67 "2008-05-04T03:43:56Z")
Thanks. I receive your wish of love: the undying love of Jennifer “Love” Hewitt. You become insanely jealous of me. I wish my otherwise unchanged bowel movements come out plated in precious gold, so they are odorless and slide comfortably out mess-free. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/68 "2008-05-04T03:44:24Z")
Love? Thanks a lot for the ugly, obsessed, murderous stalker who _just won’t leave me alone_. Gold-plated poop? The Mafia finds out about this odd gastrointestinal trait of yours and locks you up in an isolated house under constant guard, force-feeding you and collecting your feces. I wish I had unnumbered wishes, and the good health and personal happiness to long enjoy them. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/69 "2008-05-04T04:01:02Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] I wish I had unnumbered wishes, and the good health and personal happiness to long enjoy them. [/QUOTE] Your wishes, indeed, are unnumbered. However, they aren’t infinite, and that out-of-control crosstown bus is about to negate the health and the happiness. I want to be a Judge of the New York County Surrogate Court, and get rich off of other people’s estates. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/70 "2008-05-04T15:06:23Z")
You are caught embezzling the funds in question, and spend the next 10 years sharing a cell with a 250 pound guy named Bubba who has “F.E.A.R.” tatooed on the knuckles of his left hand. I wish for a BMT-a bacon, mutton, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomatoes ripe and oh so perky-I love that. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/71 "2008-05-04T16:11:18Z")
A crazed PETA activist sees you savoring your sandwich and beats you to death with her “Meat is Murder!” sign. I wish that animals obeyed my every command. ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/72 "2008-05-04T17:18:53Z")
Granted. They do. ALL of them. Every time you say “come over here”, your house will overfill with every animal on earth trying to enter, and you’ll get crushed to death between them. I wish that I got paid on a daily basis rather than bi-weekly. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/73 "2008-05-04T17:25:15Z")
[QUOTE=fusoya] I wish that I got paid on a daily basis rather than bi-weekly. [/QUOTE] Congratulations. You’re working, now, as a mule for the local heroin ring. You get paid daily, and well. You also are in a high risk position, and with no ability to quit. And no health insurance. I wish I had a legal job, paying at least minimum wage. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/74 "2008-05-04T17:33:13Z")
Granted, you have your dream job, which is perfectly legal and pays a decent wage, BUT! You are also paid daily instead of bi-weekly. So what? I guess you haven’t heard about the changes to the accounting rules that require you fill out all parts of Form 97B, in triplicate, and personally hand in one copy at the Regional office in Scranton at 9AM, another at the Anchorage branch at exactly 1:23PM, and lastly, the Baghdad division at 4:29PM, on each day for which you are to be paid. The accounting change is irreversible and continues in perpetuity, even if you change jobs. Enjoy! I wish that the wish written down on the sheet of paper in my hand (which is hitherto unknown to anyone other than myself) is granted to me instantly and not corrupted in any fashion. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/75 "2008-05-04T17:53:11Z")
[QUOTE=The Controvert] I wish that the wish written down on the sheet of paper in my hand (which is hitherto unknown to anyone other than myself) is granted to me instantly and not corrupted in any fashion. [/QUOTE] Sure, but since the Wish-Granter has the power to grant wishes but not to read minds, he has to assume what it is that’s on the paper but has to grant you some wish because you asked. Granted - you’re OtakuLok’s administrative assistant. Your written-down wish remains uncorrupted. I wish the existence/non-existence of God debate to be finally and irrefutable resolved. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/76 "2008-05-04T17:55:38Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] I wish the existence/non-existence of God debate to be finally and irrefutable resolved. [/QUOTE] Congratulations! You’ve found R’lyeh! Prepare to be eaten. I wish I had a minion to clean my apartment for me. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/77 "2008-05-04T17:59:07Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Congratulations! You’ve found R’lyeh! Prepare to be eaten. I wish I had a minion to clean my apartment for me. [/QUOTE] Granted, but it’s **The Controvert** and he’s pissed off about all the payroll paperwork you make him do. Have you found your keys yet? I wish all vending machines sold apples, bananas and oranges to kids instead of candy bars and chips. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/78 "2008-05-04T20:13:43Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Granted, but it’s **The Controvert** and he’s pissed off about all the payroll paperwork you make him do. Have you found your keys yet? I wish all vending machines sold apples, bananas and oranges to kids instead of candy bars and chips. [/QUOTE] Done. The children of the US suffer crashes from the sudden withdrawal of sugar leaving us with a generation that couldn’t pay any attention in school and the future is doomed. I wish to be wealthy enough to no longer have to work. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/79 "2008-05-04T20:27:04Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] Done. The children of the US suffer crashes from the sudden withdrawal of sugar leaving us with a generation that couldn’t pay any attention in school and the future is doomed. I wish to be wealthy enough to no longer have to work. [/QUOTE] I’ve got a better answer now. Due to neglect by the companies that raise those fruits, every US school child is poisoned by a pesticide. We now are missing a full generation of people. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837/80 "2008-05-04T20:31:25Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] I wish to be wealthy enough to no longer have to work. [/QUOTE] You got it. No more nine-to-five for you, no more lousy commutes, just staying at home … looking after all your investments, getting on the phone to your brokers and bankers and investment counsellors, issuing buy and sell orders, reviewing various markets online and in the newspaper, making sure you’re maximizing the use of every penny so you can maintain your standard of living without having to work. Or so you thought. I wish I had a valid library card. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish-game/447837.md?page=5)