# Corrupted Wish **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 4, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724 "2012-02-04T03:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/201 "2012-02-14T17:22:51Z")
She nudges you and winks at you all night and you don’t get a bit of sleep. No sex, either. I wish I hadn’t had that last piece of red velvet cake. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/202 "2012-02-15T02:27:43Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I wish to get a really nice Valentine’s Day gift from my wife tonight in bed, if you know what I mean. Nudge nudge, wink wink say no more, say no more. Your wife turns into Eric Idle. He/she then rapes you repeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/203 "2012-02-15T03:09:14Z")
I still wish I hadn’t had that last piece of red velvet cake. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/204 "2012-02-15T09:00:37Z")
You didn’t. But you will now, and another, and another, another. . . I wish my old truck would start. ---
**Author:** ![Glottis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Glottis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glottis)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/205 "2012-02-15T12:31:21Z")
It does, along with a car bomb. Burn on you. I wish my bicycle never suffered punctures. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/206 "2012-02-15T14:04:26Z")
Someone stole your tires. Problem solved! I wish everyone loved me but left me alone when I wanted. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/207 "2012-02-16T15:30:15Z")
You found a wonderful partner. They love you madly and represent your absolute ideal in every way. You cannot get enough of their company, their wit, even their personal scent all make you feel perfectly content in every way. They totally respectful of your emotional space, and so they leave you alone whenever you want to be left alone. Unfortunately, they also leave you alone when you don’t want to be left alone. In fact, after your first meeting, you never see them ever again. I wish that someone would prepare, deliver and provide all appropriate utensils for a delicious, highly-portable (non-cursed, properly heated, not plague ridden, not maggot infested, not overly salted) breakfast for me every morning. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/208 "2012-02-16T16:01:12Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > You found a wonderful partner. They love you madly and represent your absolute ideal in every way. You cannot get enough of their company, their wit, even their personal scent all make you feel perfectly content in every way. They totally respectful of your emotional space, and so they leave you alone whenever you want to be left alone. Unfortunately, they also leave you alone when you don’t want to be left alone. In fact, after your first meeting, you never see them ever again. > > I wish that someone would prepare, deliver and provide all appropriate utensils for a delicious, highly-portable (non-cursed, properly heated, not plague ridden, not maggot infested, not overly salted) breakfast for me every morning. You get toast. I wish someone would give me a Pop-Tart. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/209 "2012-02-16T16:14:17Z")
It’s OK if the Pop-Tart is stale, slathered in rancid butter and burned to a crisp, right? I wish my red pen never ran out of ink. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/210 "2012-02-16T17:54:48Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > It’s OK if the Pop-Tart is stale, slathered in rancid butter and burned to a crisp, right? > > I wish my red pen never ran out of ink. Too bad it’s the pen you do your accounting with. I wish I had a pencil eraser. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/211 "2012-02-16T18:08:29Z")
You do, but then all pencils everywhere simultaneously disappeared into an alternate universe. The World Pencil League would like a word with you. I wish there really were a World Pencil League. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/212 "2012-02-16T20:19:38Z")
There is, and you are it’s treasurer, the only known person with access to it’s funds. And there’s $100,000 missing. And the members are largely factory owners and . . .er . . . union manager types. . . I wish Celtling could throw a punch like Evander Holyfield. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/213 "2012-02-16T20:27:07Z")
Done. Now he throws a punch _exactly_ like Evander Holyfield. His opponents figure out his fighting style by watching old Holyfield tapes, and Celtling gets pummeled every night. I wish for fame and fortune as a boxer. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/214 "2012-02-16T20:48:54Z")
Congratulations. Your manager is Don King. I wish that I had a challenging and rewarding job whose tasks fit my skills, that paid me a well-above-average salary for a US professional, and that had good job security. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/215 "2012-02-16T20:51:29Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/216 "2012-02-16T20:58:16Z")
You are now working as a boy toy in a maximum security prison. I wish it would snow just enough to look pretty outside. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/217 "2012-02-18T22:11:06Z")
You are now a permanent resident of a nice little house…inside a snow globe which is periodically shook by a 90 year old widow. I wish that snakes, toads, and other vermin would issue from the mouth of a GOP Presidential candidate any time that they lie and/or bear false witness (against each other or Pres. Obama, I don’t care). ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/218 "2012-02-18T23:24:39Z")
Snake spitting Ron Paul seen as ‘totally awesome’ by young voters, wins election in a landslide as they actually get off their asses and into the polling booths. If wish every order I made online, forever, had free, fast shipping. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/219 "2012-02-18T23:39:08Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Snake spitting Ron Paul seen as ‘totally awesome’ by young voters, wins election in a landslide as they actually get off their asses and into the polling booths. > > If wish every order I made online, forever, had free, fast shipping. You order a new bowling ball. It arrives seconds later at over 10,000 mph, destroying your house. You are not charged for the shipping. I wish I had a dime. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/220 "2012-02-18T23:44:33Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > I wish I had a dime. It’s at the bottom of an outhouse. I wish bacon had all of the flavor, but no calories. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724.md?page=12)