# Corrupted Wish **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [February 4, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724 "2012-02-04T03:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/141 "2012-02-09T16:40:06Z")
You have a flashlight, but you accidentally the whole thing. I wish my computer was faster. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/142 "2012-02-09T16:46:09Z")
It’s plenty fast,; now that it’s in the trunk of a stolen corvette. I wish I had brought lunch. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/143 "2012-02-09T16:48:45Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > You have a flashlight, but you accidentally the whole thing. > > I wish my computer was faster. There’s no electrical system in the world that can handle the load. “You have a flashlight, but you accidentally the whole thing.” I wish I knew what you meant. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/144 "2012-02-09T19:10:02Z")
You do, and this eldritch forbidden knowledge drives you mad. I wish Cthulhu were real. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/145 "2012-02-09T19:13:28Z")
Meet Charles L. Cthulhu, an accountant in Hackensack, NJ. I wish that for the perfect video game library and a desktop that can run everything perfectly on the highest settings. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/146 "2012-02-09T20:44:52Z")
Your wish is granted. It’s too bad that video games cause you siezures. I wish to get promoted at work. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/147 "2012-02-09T20:59:37Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I wish to get promoted at work. Congratulations! You’re the new executive vice president of changing your boss’s diapers! I wish I knew where I put the remote. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/148 "2012-02-09T21:01:46Z")
You will no longer have any trouble finding the remote, as it has been transplated onto your forehead. I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and no gain weight. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/149 "2012-02-09T21:05:02Z")
Done. But you now have no appetite, and you waste away. I wish I would never, ever get scurvy. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/150 "2012-02-09T22:24:04Z")
You die after an allergic reaction to lime juice. I wish I was smarter ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/151 "2012-02-09T23:53:56Z")
You can solve 12th-degree polynomials & trivial problems like Fermat’s Last Theorem in your sleep, but lack any sort of normal functioning in day-to-day life because you are now an idiot savant. I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/152 "2012-02-10T01:32:56Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > You can solve 12th-degree polynomials & trivial problems like Fermat’s Last Theorem in your sleep, but lack any sort of normal functioning in day-to-day life because you are now an idiot savant. > > I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner! Only kids like you. Even the ones who climb on rocks. You get arrested. I wish i didn’t keep misplacing my glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/153 "2012-02-10T01:56:53Z")
A couple of nails through the glass into your eyeballs will do the trick nicely. I wish that I had a perfect memory and never forgot anything. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/154 "2012-02-10T02:05:16Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > A couple of nails through the glass into your eyeballs will do the trick nicely. > > I wish that I had a perfect memory and never forgot anything. You remember everything every living creature has experienced back to the very beginnings of time. I wish I could lose my glasses. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/155 "2012-02-10T02:29:59Z")
Your glasses, along with your eyeballs that are still nailed to them, go missing. I wish for the world’s most perfect hamburger. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/156 "2012-02-10T02:34:10Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Your glasses, along with your eyeballs that are still nailed to them, go missing. > > I wish for the world’s most perfect hamburger. And it’s so perfect, you can’t bring yourself to eat it. I wish I had a Seeing Eye Dog. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/157 "2012-02-10T02:39:35Z")
You now have a seeing-eye dog. Because you are blind. Nice wish, a-hole 😛 I wish it was lunchtime. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/158 "2012-02-10T02:50:01Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > You now have a seeing-eye dog. Because you are blind. Nice wish, a-hole 😛 > > I wish it was lunchtime. It is lunchtime somewhere. Not just where you are. I wish I had a pair of cowboy boots. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/159 "2012-02-10T02:56:34Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > “You have a flashlight, but you accidentally the whole thing.” > I wish I knew what you meant. Btw in case you really, really want to know what I was riffing on, click on [this](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=I+accidentally+the+whole+fleshlight&oq=I+accidentally+the+whole+fleshlight). ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724/160 "2012-02-10T02:57:21Z")
Here are your new cowboy boots – made out of real cowboys! I wish that _Community_ will get 6 seasons and a movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/corrupted-wish/611724.md?page=9)