# Cosmic Ejaculate At Near Warp Speed! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cosmic-ejaculate-at-near-warp-speed/285440 "2005-01-18T22:15:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cosmic-ejaculate-at-near-warp-speed/285440/1 "2005-01-18T22:15:48Z")
[Proving that even physicists can fall prey to the SUV craze](http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/blazing_speed_050118.html), they’re calling 'em “Blazars” (Wonder if they’re made in the Chevy Galaxy? Oh wait, the Galaxie was a Ford, and the Blazer’s a Chevy, damn.) > [@](#): > > Astronomers are now measuring stuff – material, matter, things – that moves at so close to the speed of light you might think it’d make Einstein a bit nervous. His theory of relativity appears not to be endangered by the blazing speeds, though. > > Among thee speed demons of the universe are Jupiter-sized blobs of hot gas embedded in streams of material ejected from hyperactive galaxies known as blazars. Last week at a meeting here of the American Astronomical Society, scientists announced they had measured blobs in blazar jets screaming through space at 99.9 percent of light-speed. > > “This tells us that the physical processes at the cores of these galaxies … are extremely energetic and are capable of propelling matter very close to the absolute cosmic speed limit,” said Glenn Piner of Whittier College in Whittier, California. > > Ponder the power of the fast moving superheated gas, known as plasma: > > “To accelerate a bowling ball to the speed newly measured in these blazars would require all the energy produced in the world for an entire week,” Piner said. “And the blobs of plasma in these jets are at least as massive as a large planet.” ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cosmic-ejaculate-at-near-warp-speed/285440/2 "2005-01-19T00:53:32Z")
> [@Tuckerfan's link](#): > > Astronomers are now measuring stuff Well shit, I’m glad someone’s doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cosmic-ejaculate-at-near-warp-speed/285440/3 "2005-01-19T01:05:57Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > Well shit, I’m glad someone’s doing it. Haaaahahahahaha! 🙂 Oh, that was good. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cosmic-ejaculate-at-near-warp-speed/285440/4 "2005-01-19T01:42:21Z")
> [@](#): > > “To accelerate a bowling ball to the speed newly measured in these blazars would require all the energy produced in the world for an entire week,” Piner said. “And the blobs of plasma in these jets are at least as massive as a large planet.” Well by God, let’s get to work! C’mon, we can do without energy for a week. It’ll be great! Like a huge worldwide camping trip! Tripler Don’t worry about your beer in the fridge not being cold. I have whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cosmic-ejaculate-at-near-warp-speed/285440/5 "2005-01-19T01:51:31Z")
Damn. I read the title and thought this was gonna be about The Coming of the Lord.