In one of the places I once worked, the ladies room sofa was very old and needed to be replaced; before the new sofa arrived, an army cot was provided as a temporary resting place.
I know options are limited and I have never had the pleasure of experiencing cramps, but I can’t imagine resting on couch a few feet away from the stench of people defecating, I think that would make me vomitous in addition to cramp laden.
Actually, both my mom and my sister get debilitating migraines when their periods start. So, yeah, maybe women do get migraines more.
And Alex_Dubinsky, from the way it’s been described to me, the kind of cramping some women feel is not like when we get a cramp in our lower abs, it’s more like the abdominal distress we get when we get kicked in the nads. If I had to spend half a day getting kicked in the nads, I’d be lying flat out too.
It probably makes no difference where I’m lying down, but from a architect’s planning point of view, it’s reasonable to think they’d just put some kind of cot in the “powder room”. Back in my school days, I think the girls just went to lay on the cot in the nurse’s office.
Considering how obtuse you have to be not to understand the way society has historically treated the subject of menstrual cramps in general, let alone in the workplace, I can’t be in the least surprised that that same someone wouldn’t be able to read his own posts.
:smack:
Back in the '80s, my mother’s office, at a state university, and a couch in it. She didn’t want it. She didn’t order it. Building codes required that there be somewhere that a woman could lie down, if needed, and the bathrooms in that building didn’t have the facilities for it. So she, being a female administrator, got to have the couch in her office, behind a screen.
Why the codes said there had to be a couch: I don’t know. Why there was a couch there: because the codes said there had to be.
As for why put the couch in the restroom? When I get my period, it hits hard; both the cramps and the flow. I grab a couple of painkillers, my hygiene product of choice, and head to the bathroom. Having them in the same place means I can clean up, and then sit for a bit while I wait for the painkiller to kick in. As for smells and sounds? Smell isn’t usually an issue, between ventilation and the fact that the couch is actually in a seperate room. As for sound? When I’m trying to wish away the cramps, the sounds of a toilet flushing aren’t that big of a deal.
Perhaps Doper men are a more advanced breed or something, but seriously, 99% of the men I know don’t want to know when I or any other woman is cramping, having her period, in desperate need of a new maxi/tampon, or even when a headache or backache or [insert symptom here] is related whatsoever to her menstrual cycle. Even my husband, who will lovingly take care of me, get me Advil, buy tampons for me, etc, he’d rather I not really describe anything.
Do you really want to know when each of your female coworkers are menstruating? It’s easier to just have a woman go off to the restroom and take a few minutes to rest than to have her lying on a couch in the middle of the office because she’s cramping, because most men would complain about that!
Also, women tend to suffer migraines more than men, at a ratio of about 3:1 and many migraines are thought to be associated with hormone changes. Besides the menstrual hormone drop, women’s hormone levels vary throughout the month as well, so non-PMS migraines can (and do!) occur as well. Conversely, cluster headaches tend to be more common in men.
Bad cramps occasionally bring me to tears. I imagine most women don’t want to cry at their desks. They’re also often accompanied by nausea and/or stomach upset, so it’s nice to have a toilet nearby (I could be wrong, but I tell my SO it’s like consuming bad shellfish then being kicked in the nuts every hour for about two days). The couch is often separated from the actual toilet stalls by a door.
The thing is, when someone is not feeling well and needs to lie down, I don’t expect to know why. And even though menstruation does seem pretty gross to me, and I’m not eager to discuss it, it surprises me that someone would find someone else’s abdominal pain disturbing just because its cause is related to something icky. But I guess others may feel differently. Anyway, Tastes of Chocolate has answered my question – if the icky symptoms and the just plain painful ones are occurring together, it makes perfect sense to put the couch in the restroom.
Keeve, I’m sorry. I thought you were explaining why you had quoted me, which confused me even more because I didn’t think you had.
Exapno Mapcase, do you want to take this to the Pit? I’m not sure because I still can’t tell if you’re talking to me directly.
Ok. Why. Why are women comparing menstrual cramps to getting kicked in the nuts? I’m not going to say “women don’t know what it’s like.” Because they do. They’ve seen plenty of America’s Funniest Home Videos where men are rolling around on the floor, and that’s just from stray baseballs not well-planted kicks. Anyway, it’s not funny. It’s insensitive. Worse, it’s ignorant. It’s man-hating-dykery to trivialize (and not even for the sake of a joke! but like as part of a serious argument!) violence against testes.
Men have been building couches in your bathrooms for centuries, and this how you thank us?
Because it’s that painful for some of us.
How’s that worldview working out for you?
Given that women are many times more likely to deliver the kick in the balls than men, I would say they don’t know what it’s like. Any more than we know what menstrual cramps are like. I have never, ever, not once, seen any woman in anywhere near as much pain as a well-placed kick in the nuts can bring, nor do I ever expect to.
And when I said men get cramps I wasn’t talking about after a workout. I mean like having a bad case of diarrhea during an exam when you can’t do anything about it but take it. Or one of any other of a plethora of predicaments that both sexes are liabal to befall. Sure, it’s worse when it happens every month. But quit acting like men are just so hopelessly clueless. It’s sexism (and not the pedantic kind).
That’s because they’ll all be hiding in the ladies’ room, on the couch.
Queen Brin why even mention nuts? How about I kick you in your solar plexus and ask you to compare and contrast?
For one, I didn’t.
For another, it was simply (as I read it) a shorthand way to communicate a gender-specific source of pain. How you manage to associate that with “man-hating-dykery” is beyond me.
You’re conflating two separate issues here.
- Is it unfunny and insensitive to treat a painful blow to the testes (deliberate or accidental) as if it were some kind of a joke?
- Absolutely, IMO. Laughing at a guy who’s in that kind of pain is monstrously crude and cruel. I have always wished that guys themselves would not set such a bad example in that regard.
- Is it somehow ignorant or insensitive or trivializing to compare a painful blow to the testes with really bad menstrual cramps?
- Absolutely not, IMO. I wouldn’t make any such comparison about my own menstrual cramps, which are nowhere near that bad thank Og, but I’ve seen other women white-faced and vomiting simply because of the pain. And remember, this isn’t a few minutes of agony followed by a quick recovery, either. Menstrual cramps can last for hours on end, or longer.
Actually, I think laughing at a guy who got kicked in the nuts is LESS BAD than putting on a straight face and arguing that such-and-such is like getting kicked in the nuts (apparently to help men understand). The first is just cruel humor, the second is ignorance.
If you want to say that “a small minority of women” experience menstrual cramps so bad that they turn white and vomit from the pain (not nasuea) and you’d like to compare that to getting kicked in the balls (not that you’d know, obviously), then that’s understandable. Although why wouldn’t you just mention the symptoms and stop the comparisons? No, the fact is that some women think that getting kicked in the nuts is no huge deal. I would like to kick them in the neck. Just to establish a unisex baseline. And then explain that balls hurt more. Then you can have your turn talking about cramps. I do sense man-hating-dykery from a few individuals on this thread (who don’t even think there’s anything wrong with that).
Wow. You are one hopeless case.
Man-hating what?!
MODERATOR STEPS IN!!.
This is General Questions, not some drunken bar fight.
If you want to Pit someone, take it to the Pit. If you want to debate pain levels, take it to Great Debates. But keep it the fuck out of here.
Alex. You get my special attention! You’ve been back, what, less than a month? And you just can’t seem to figure out what is appropriate behavior in the various fora. Try just a bit harder.
Since the OP has thankfully been pretty succinctly answered, this one is Closed.
samclem GQ moderator