# Could a really smart monkey do your job? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200 "2006-08-03T15:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/21 "2006-08-03T20:08:55Z")
I’m an electrical apprentice, so I’m going to hazard a hopeful no. I’d certainly like to think all the things I’m struggling to master wouldn’t be simple for a simian. However, I worked on an assembly line for eleven years, most often monkeys would have been a far better fit for that kind of repetitive work. ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/22 "2006-08-03T20:17:45Z")
No, a monkey couldn’t do my job. But I have to spend a lot of time every day making sure my boss understands this. It’s difficult because a monkey could do \*his \*job easily. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/23 "2006-08-03T20:49:26Z")
Although a monkey could not do my job due to their limited proficiency in computer use and evaluation of written English, I’m fairly certain a monkey with a word processor might do a better job producing work for us than some of the kids do; **most** do fairly well, but there’s a small number, yeesh. Although, maybe the ones that seem to be 4 pages of blank verse (or as a coworker asked about one exemplar Tuesday “is this a word scramble?”) might actually already be being written by monkeys… ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/24 "2006-08-03T20:55:36Z")
I’ve never seen anyone want a monkey for a trophy wife before…Never say never… ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/25 "2006-08-03T21:02:22Z")
I don’t think a smart monkey could do my job, although I’d love some monkeys to work in Dietary. See the pretty red sign, monkey? NPO? No food, monkey, no food, got it? Okay! So far, this hasn’t worked on the 18 year olds Dietary hires. Cyn, RN ---
**Author:** ![Whifton\_Polekitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/26 "2006-08-04T04:04:13Z")
Something like, say, an orangutang could prolly handle most of it… I work in a college bookstore and at any given moment I might be running a register, helping someone find the 5x5 quad paper, or schleping boxes of textbooks in the warehouse downstairs (or, as I call it due to the tastes in music down there, “The Dungeon of Smooth Jazz”). Monkey, no. Orang, yeah. They’d be like Pratchet’s Librarian. Be great, too, cos then I’d have more time to discreetly ogle my HAWT co-worker. ---
**Author:** ![Whifton\_Polekitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/27 "2006-08-04T04:14:45Z")
Something like, say, an orangutang could prolly handle most of it… I work in a college bookstore and at any given moment I might be running a register, helping someone find the 5x5 quad paper, or schleping boxes of textbooks in the warehouse downstairs (or, as I call it due to the tastes in music down there, “The Dungeon of Smooth Jazz”). Monkey, no. Orang, yeah. They’d be like Pratchet’s Librarian. Be great, too, cos then I’d have more time to discreetly ogle my HAWT co-worker. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/28 "2006-08-04T04:35:29Z")
Hmmm. Well, if one considers that in the Middle Ages, disputes were sometimes settled via trial by combat, and the modern practice of litigation, substituting briefs for battleaxes is not necessarily any more just, then yeah…an armed monkey could probably accomplish about as much as I ever have. And he’d probably sleep much better, too. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/29 "2006-08-04T05:02:52Z")
I like **Alive At Both Ends** ’ answer. 95% of my job is doing specialized things with computers and audio equipment, the rest is speaking. If my boss was a monkey, we might have more faith in management. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/30 "2006-08-04T16:55:11Z")
Nope! I don’t think monkeys are very good at legal research and writing. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/31 "2006-08-04T19:16:14Z")
It’s not that a monkey couldn’t do my job; it’s that a monkey doesn’t have the self-restrait to not chew out his co-monkeys’ throats when they get all irrational and stupid. That’s why I get paid the big bucks, because I don’t chew out throats. Minus that, sure, monkey city. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/32 "2006-08-04T19:16:28Z")
> [@Whifton\_Polekitty](#): > > Monkey, no. Orang, yeah. They’d be like Pratchet’s Librarian. > > Be great, too, cos then I’d have more time to discreetly ogle my HAWT co-worker. Yeah, but the first time you said “Oook” to her, she’d fry your butt for sexual harassment. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200/33 "2006-08-04T19:19:43Z")
No doubt. In fact, I bet the monkey would work for a lot less. Bananas are cheap. Come to think of it, I better watch my back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-really-smart-monkey-do-your-job/367200.md?page=1)