# Could a vampire get breast implants? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772 "2010-09-14T20:38:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/1 "2010-09-14T20:38:42Z")
I’m writing a story about a stripper who becomes a vampire. I was wondering what your opinion is on whether or not a vampire could get implants, or if they’d be somehow rejected. Most vampire lore has vampires healing very quickly, but I’m thinking it may be possible to heal around an implant and not have the body reject it. What’s your opinion? ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/2 "2010-09-14T20:57:22Z")
Vampires now sparkle and play baseball in the sun. You could have your vampire go-go-gadget a stripper pole our of her head and no one would blink so I say go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/3 "2010-09-14T21:03:28Z")
I’ve seen/read vampire lore where they heal almost instantly, where they didn’t start healing until they fed again and where they healed at a normal human rate but the wounds just weren’t fatal to them, like really deep cuts, like they would be to a regular human. Since it’s your story fit the lore to your needs. Like what **Grey** said after Twilight, which I have not seen, and Vampire Diaries, which I love, I think you can get away with what you want as long as you are consistant. In Vampire Diaries they can go out in the sun if they wear magic rings made by some witch friends, well sort of friends, of theirs. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/4 "2010-09-14T21:10:30Z")
Couldn’t she just use a glamour of some kind to make people think she was better endowed when she was on stage? That seems more vampiric than surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/5 "2010-09-14T21:14:41Z")
They should be violently rejected during a performance. That could be your climax! Hollywood will be beating a path to your door! THAT IDEA IS MINE! MINE!! YOU CAN’T HAVE IT!!@! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/6 "2010-09-14T21:15:34Z")
A fictional vampire? Or a real vampire? ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/7 "2010-09-14T21:27:17Z")
Now I’m trying to remember the name of the vampire story that mentions the vampire stripper who takes everything off… everything! :eek: (Vampire fast heal FTW). Narrative necessity \*\*OpalCat \*\*-- if your story needs implants, then it works, if it needs violent rejection then… but **Tahssa** ’s idea looks “believable” to me: plastic surgery working, with the wounds healing up fast / completely on the next feeding. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/8 "2010-09-14T21:30:51Z")
Your world, your rules. What best serves the needs of the story? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/9 "2010-09-14T21:36:11Z")
There are so many variations on vampires that you can make nearly anything fit, like the others have said. I don’t see a problem with a vampire healing around a foreign object. Here are some possible complications or implications: 1. Vampires generally don’t need to breathe and may be immune to most drugs and poisons. Your character may be impossible to anesthetize. She may or may not be immune to pain, but she would likely be able to feel the surgery going on. 2. Vampires lack conventional vital signs. She’d have to find a surgical team who know and accepts what she is, and are still trustworthy. 3. Vampires may have ultra-fast healing, causing any incision to heal as soon as it’s made. The surgeon would need a way to suppress the healing long enough to place the implants. Might be a good place to introduce some traditional anti-vampire stuff, like garlic. 4. Some versions of lore have vampires reliant on stored blood to sustain or heal themselves. If she bleeds significantly during the surgery (which is not necessarily a given), she might be in a near-frenzy of thirst afterwards (or even during the procedure). Have fun with it. As long as you seem to be trying to incorporate the major bits of vampire lore, vampire fans will likely forgive a little license. They’re used to it. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/10 "2010-09-14T21:39:39Z")
[Obligatory TV Tropes link](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OurVampiresAreDifferent). WARNING: TV TROPES LINK! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/11 "2010-09-14T22:45:28Z")
Personally, I like the idea that as part of the vampire transformation, the human also morphs into the most ideal physical shape possible within the limitations of their old human frame. So if a guy is short, he stays short, but sheds flab and gets muscular like a well-rounded athlete. Ditto for the ladies. So in my version implants would not be needed, as a flat-chested human would grow aesthetically proportionate breasts. Though I guess if she wanted gross oversized books, she’s out of luck. And now that I consider it, I suppose guys with little dicks would get boost too. No self-respecting male vampire should have a dick under six or seven inches. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/12 "2010-09-14T22:59:18Z")
_oversized boobs_ I haven’t taught my phone my vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/13 "2010-09-14T23:49:40Z")
You should _totally_ name her **Countess D**. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/14 "2010-09-15T04:03:58Z")
Just to add – if you’re looking for genre support for the idea – didn’t one of the vamps in _Underworld_ have part of a “key” (a big brass circular thing) inside his chest (affixed to his sternum)? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/15 "2010-09-15T08:02:14Z")
Thanks for the help, guys! I think I’m going to have vampires heal quickly but not instantly in my world. Like a day or two, with scars gone in a week or so, so surgical timing wouldn’t be a problem. I think that as long as whatever is being implanted is encased, it won’t be rejected–that is, as long as there isn’t an open wound, it would work. I don’t like the idea of bodies magically transforming to something else upon being made vampire. I think the body would forever be in whatever shape it was in at the time of transformation. Some other things I’m going to have in my world: vampires normally breathe (so they can talk and things like that and also just out of habit) but don’t need to breathe to survive. Vampires can eat if they want to, they just don’t digest the food so most of them don’t bother. Their hearts also still beat, so they still have blood circulation. Otherwise you’d just get stagnant, pooling blood in the feet and legs, wouldn’t you? And how would they bleed (such as feeding a human to make a new vampire) otherwise? My story’s main character is also married with a toddler, and the story will talk about how she deals with maintaining her family (rather than abandoning them) with her new vampire life. She’ll be able to keep her job fairly easily since she works night shift at the strip club. While we’re talking about it, anyone have any ideas for incidental characters to pepper throughout the story? Some personality you’ve thought up (or maybe even you yourself) but never bothered to write up? ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/16 "2010-09-15T08:39:23Z")
How are you going to handle the **mirror** problem - a bit of an issue with makeup, clothes shopping, post-surgical evaluation etc. Si ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/17 "2010-09-15T08:46:57Z")
I’ve always thought the mirror thing was stupid and most things I’ve read recently have discarded that bit of lore, as I will be doing. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/18 "2010-09-15T09:48:29Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > You should _totally_ name her **Countess D**. Pre op, Countess DD afterwards… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/19 "2010-09-15T09:51:29Z")
If they don’t digest the food, does that mean it comes back out the other end essentially the same? Because that would keep me from eating. Also, based on Hollywood, implants you already have certainly aren’t rejected, so I doubt newly implanted ones would be either. I also think people don’t usually think of their immune systems as being more sensitive than our own, just more powerful. (In fact, it’s a side effect of the inability to age, I assume.) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772/20 "2010-09-15T10:00:16Z")
The same but perhaps a little spoiled, yes. And that’s why most vampires don’t eat except for perhaps birthday cake or some other special occasion. Not worth the ickiness. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-a-vampire-get-breast-implants/553772.md?page=2)