# Could apes be trained for sports? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 12, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372 "2009-11-12T22:29:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/21 "2009-11-13T23:11:45Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > What about the nuances of reading the different scenarios during a game? Do you throw a pass, run the football, get out of bounds? Who do you throw to or pass the ball to? Long yardage or just enough to get first down? Just because an animal can perform one aspect of a game better than a human doesn’t mean squat if he/she doesn’t perform the correct action at the right time under the current circumstances. The Chicago Bears fans in the house may be itching to comment on this one. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/22 "2009-11-13T23:20:32Z")
> [@HorseloverFat](#): > > You can train them via classical conditioning. You can make them do things on command and learn things that will either reward them or punish them. Teaching them about downs, field goals, positions, fouls, etc is completely different. Nitpick: operant conditioning. Of course, some believe that no distinction should be made. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/23 "2009-11-13T23:25:04Z")
> [@](#): > > could apes be trained for sports? \ Football scholarships\ ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/24 "2009-11-15T01:17:57Z")
> [@HorseloverFat](#): > > You can train them via classical conditioning. Small heads-up. Any idea with the word “classical” in it is outmoded, primitive garbage. Especially in a field that is not physics. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/25 "2009-11-15T03:54:10Z")
I foresee the terrible scenario where a chimpanzee is pitching a perfect game in the 9th inning, and the ump calls a questionable pitch outside. The chimp goes berserk and everyone in the stadium starts running for their lives. Oh, the humanity. Even if that doesn’t happen, an intelligent ape would expect to be rewarded frequently, like a banana after every strikeout. The games are long enough as it is. If, when he first came up to the Yankees in the '40s you had asked Yogi Berra’s teammates about whether apes could be trained for sports, they would have found the question amusing. The story goes that early on when Yogi returned to the dugout his teammates would mock him by doing ape imitations (i.e. hanging from the dugout roof by their arms). They quickly forgot that he “didn’t look like a Yankee” when it became clear how good he was. It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/26 "2009-11-15T04:55:22Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > If games count as “sport” for purposes of the OP, I think maybe an ape or parrot could be taught to play tic-tac-toe or checkers to the level of a human child. Hell, even a chicken can do that. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/27 "2009-11-15T05:34:09Z")
Would it be legal in any sport for a coach on the sidelines to call out commands to an ape player on the field, possibly via a helmet radio? You might not be able to teach a chimp when to use the various plays, but you probably could teach him to throw a long pass when you say “Hail Mary”, or the like. Well, assuming that he’s physically able to, at least. ---
**Author:** ![mmmiiikkkeee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@mmmiiikkkeee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmiiikkkeee)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/28 "2009-11-16T19:45:43Z")
How about rock climbing, or rowing? Also arm wrestling and many of the strong-man events; parkour as well (although they’d be “running” on all fours). Although not really sports, apes would be very competitive at Ninja-Warrior type events, as well as various types of acrobatics… but probably not those where points are awarded for strict technique. ---
**Author:** ![Thrash\_the\_Almighty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90ced4/32.png) [@Thrash\_the\_Almighty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thrash_the_Almighty)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/29 "2009-11-17T16:27:19Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Ultimate Fighting would largely come naturally to them, I imagine. While the basic idea of fighting would come naturally enough, it would take all of a second for an enraged chimp to begin biting his assailant and get a disqualification for using an illegal technique. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/30 "2009-11-17T16:53:35Z")
> [@Alex\_Dubinsky](#): > > Small heads-up. Any idea with the word “classical” in it is outmoded, primitive garbage. Especially in a field that is not physics. But… but we just did that in psych class! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/31 "2009-11-17T17:01:55Z")
> [@Alex\_Dubinsky](#): > > Small heads-up. Any idea with the word “classical” in it is outmoded, primitive garbage. Especially in a field that is not physics. I’ll be sure and let the dog know to stop drooling. ---
**Author:** ![davekhps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@davekhps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davekhps)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/32 "2009-11-17T17:17:46Z")
Wow, no fans of bad Fox television here? Look up “[Man vs. Beast](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_vs._Beast).” They had a chimp there, he lost out to a retired Navy SEAL on an obstacle course. EDIT: And, in a bizarre twist, that SEAL was one of the four contractors who [were killed in Fallujah](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Helvenston) back in 2004. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/33 "2009-11-17T17:31:29Z")
> [@davekhps](#): > > Wow, no fans of bad Fox television here? Look up “[Man vs. Beast](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_vs._Beast).” Fascinating. I wonder if it’s out on DVD? And, if so, … What the DVD commentary is like? ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/34 "2009-11-17T18:40:14Z")
> [@davekhps](#): > > Wow, no fans of bad Fox television here? Look up “[Man vs. Beast](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_vs._Beast).” > > They had a chimp there, he lost out to a retired Navy SEAL on an obstacle course. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that on YouTube. Thing is that the SEAL was giving it everything he had while the chimp was kind of ambling along, effortlessly but leisurely. I don’t think he realized that he was in a race. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/35 "2009-11-17T18:46:02Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > Fascinating. I wonder if it’s out on DVD? And, if so, … What the DVD commentary is like? I believe the chimps commentary was something along the lines of: “WAAAH! WAAAAH! WAH WAH WAHHHHHH! Eep! Eep!” ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372/36 "2009-11-17T19:36:31Z")
“Oh yeah? You show me in the rulebook where it says a chimpanzee can’t shoot free throws!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-apes-be-trained-for-sports/517372.md?page=1)