# Could I buy a dolphin? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 15, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874 "2005-09-15T22:59:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/21 "2005-09-16T18:52:20Z")
[Go wild](http://toys.search.ebay.com/dan-marino_Action-Figures_W0QQsacatZ246). ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/22 "2005-09-17T00:16:11Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > Alternately you could open a marine mammal rescue center and wait for a sick animal to stran itself, but again the costs would be enormous and they don’t usually survive too long at that point. Even then, an animal rescued for rehabilitation must be released within 6 months or you must apply for a permit extension. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/23 "2005-09-17T00:41:03Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I assume you are joking (unless you are in Japan), but for those who might think you are not, it should be pointed out that there is fish sometimes called “dolphin” (these days more commonly sold as “dorado” or “mahi-mahi”) that is completely different from the marine mammal. I don’t know what “dolphin” strictly means, but one meaning is, of course, the porpoise – same animal. Then, there’s dolphin fish – YUM! First fish my wife made me start eating, and now I’m a believer. On the food channel they like to call it mahi-mahi, and in Mexico they call it dorado. As near as I can tell, there’s no standard but deliciousness. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/24 "2005-09-17T01:03:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I assume you are joking (unless you are in Japan), but for those who might think you are not, it should be pointed out that there is fish sometimes called “dolphin” (these days more commonly sold as “dorado” or “mahi-mahi”) that is completely different from the marine mammal. Yes, I was joking, and referring to the dolphin fish rather than the mammal. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/25 "2005-09-17T01:14:11Z")
> [@jln420](#): > > Is it legal for a private citizen to own a dolphin? Where could I buy one? You need to be more specific: why, and what species? It all depends on your porpoise. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/26 "2005-09-17T02:08:46Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Dolphins utilize echo location to find foods, the desity of objects, depth, and a whole range of things we do not fully understand. So do bats, and they’re not particularly bright. Echolocation is merely another sense, like hearing or sight. Having a sense we do not possess is not a measure of intelligence. There are many animals which have senses we do not, such as the magnetic sense of migratory birds, the electric field sense of sharks or the heat sense of some snakes, for example. A shark may be a highly-attuned hunter, but it’s dumb as a bag of hammers. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/27 "2005-09-17T04:38:15Z")
> [@](#): > > There are many animals which have senses we do not, such as the magnetic sense of migratory birds, the electric field sense of sharks or the heat sense of some snakes, for example. A shark may be a highly-attuned hunter, but it’s dumb as a bag of hammers. Exactly. My brother can sense a pot of tea being brewed from two miles away but i’d hardly call him intelligent. ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/28 "2005-09-17T04:55:07Z")
What do you want the dolphin _for_? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/29 "2005-09-17T05:06:21Z")
Which dolphin? [dolphin/porpoise picture menu](http://www.acsonline.org/factpack/map-dolphins.html) ---
**Author:** ![jacs47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@jacs47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacs47)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/30 "2014-01-29T02:05:39Z")
I want a dolphin too but I was thinkng another country. Lolz love em. ---
**Author:** ![wheresmymind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@wheresmymind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheresmymind)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/31 "2014-01-29T03:24:02Z")
If you’re interested, zombie dolphins are probably much cheaper and easier to care for than their still-living brethren. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/32 "2014-01-29T03:35:37Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Agreed a dolphin is the last animal you would want to capture, and own. Their brain cavity is larger than a humans and the grey matter inbetween weighs more than ours. meaning they are extremely smart. If dolphins are so smart, why do they still live in igloos? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/33 "2014-01-29T03:41:37Z")
The problem with owning a dolphin is: at some point in the future, it will launch itself into space, saying…(I don’t have to finish the sentence, do I?) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/34 "2014-01-29T09:07:10Z")
A Navy dolphin trainer told me that it was absurd to imagine (as some dolphin activists do) that the Navy would ever have trained suicide-dolphins to either search out underwater mines (getting themselves blown up in the process) let alone planting mines (also getting themselves blown up in the process). He pointed out that procuring, training, and caring for a dolphin is _vastly_ more expensive than procuring, training, and caring for a lowly human recruit. So, if you were a sensible Navy upper-management type, which would _you_ choose for finding or placing mines? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/35 "2014-01-29T13:30:54Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > … > [sub]The USCG calls the Dauphin the ‘Dolphin’.[/sub] They’re in good company. The representative of France presents Henry V with a nasty gift from the Dauphin: …This tunne of treasure: and in lieu of this, Desires to let the Dukedomes that you craue Heare no more from you: This the Dolphin saith. King. What treasure Vncle? Exe. Tennis balles my Liege. King. We are glad the Dolphin is so pleasant with vs, And [a wonderful scary and quite moving speech of war continues.](http://youtu.be/NHAAH8PCnMo) (Link is to Kenneth Branagh as Henry V in his movie. Check it out.) ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/36 "2014-01-29T18:11:29Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > If dolphins are so smart, why do they still live in igloos? Errr … what? ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/37 "2014-01-29T18:35:01Z")
It’s a South Park joke, from way back in the very first season, IIRC. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mr.Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Me)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874/38 "2014-01-30T01:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > “The public has this image of dolphins as mythical, unaggressive and intelligent animals,” says Dr Miranda MacQuitty, a researcher for the programme. Mythical, unagressive and intelligent on rye bread with some mayonnaise. /Cartman [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-buy-a-dolphin/321874.md?page=1)