Could I buy a dolphin?

[cmkeller]

Go wild.

[wevets]

@dolphinboy

Alternately you could open a marine mammal rescue center and wait for a sick animal to stran itself, but again the costs would be enormous and they don’t usually survive too long at that point.

Even then, an animal rescued for rehabilitation must be released within 6 months or you must apply for a permit extension.

[Balthisar]

@Colibri

I assume you are joking (unless you are in Japan), but for those who might think you are not, it should be pointed out that there is fish sometimes called “dolphin” (these days more commonly sold as “dorado” or “mahi-mahi”) that is completely different from the marine mammal.

I don’t know what “dolphin” strictly means, but one meaning is, of course, the porpoise – same animal. Then, there’s dolphin fish – YUM! First fish my wife made me start eating, and now I’m a believer. On the food channel they like to call it mahi-mahi, and in Mexico they call it dorado. As near as I can tell, there’s no standard but deliciousness.

[yBeayf]

I assume you are joking (unless you are in Japan), but for those who might think you are not, it should be pointed out that there is fish sometimes called “dolphin” (these days more commonly sold as “dorado” or “mahi-mahi”) that is completely different from the marine mammal.

Yes, I was joking, and referring to the dolphin fish rather than the mammal.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@jln420

Is it legal for a private citizen to own a dolphin? Where could I buy one?

You need to be more specific: why, and what species? It all depends on your porpoise.

Daniel

[Q.E.D]

@Phlosphr

Dolphins utilize echo location to find foods, the desity of objects, depth, and a whole range of things we do not fully understand.

So do bats, and they’re not particularly bright. Echolocation is merely another sense, like hearing or sight. Having a sense we do not possess is not a measure of intelligence. There are many animals which have senses we do not, such as the magnetic sense of migratory birds, the electric field sense of sharks or the heat sense of some snakes, for example. A shark may be a highly-attuned hunter, but it’s dumb as a bag of hammers.

[garius]

There are many animals which have senses we do not, such as the magnetic sense of migratory birds, the electric field sense of sharks or the heat sense of some snakes, for example. A shark may be a highly-attuned hunter, but it’s dumb as a bag of hammers.

Exactly.

My brother can sense a pot of tea being brewed from two miles away but i’d hardly call him intelligent.

[Oregon_sunshine]

What do you want the dolphin for? :dubious:

[astro]

Which dolphin?

dolphin/porpoise picture menu

[jacs47]

I want a dolphin too but I was thinkng another country. Lolz love em.

[wheresmymind]

If you’re interested, zombie dolphins are probably much cheaper and easier to care for than their still-living brethren.

[Namkcalb]

@Phlosphr

Agreed a dolphin is the last animal you would want to capture, and own. Their brain cavity is larger than a humans and the grey matter inbetween weighs more than ours. meaning they are extremely smart.

If dolphins are so smart, why do they still live in igloos?

[blondebear]

The problem with owning a dolphin is: at some point in the future, it will launch itself into space, saying…(I don’t have to finish the sentence, do I?)

[Senegoid]

A Navy dolphin trainer told me that it was absurd to imagine (as some dolphin activists do) that the Navy would ever have trained suicide-dolphins to either search out underwater mines (getting themselves blown up in the process) let alone planting mines (also getting themselves blown up in the process).

He pointed out that procuring, training, and caring for a dolphin is vastly more expensive than procuring, training, and caring for a lowly human recruit.

So, if you were a sensible Navy upper-management type, which would you choose for finding or placing mines?

[Leo_Bloom]

@Johnny_L.A

…
[sub]The USCG calls the Dauphin the ‘Dolphin’.[/sub]

They’re in good company. The representative of France presents Henry V with a nasty gift from the Dauphin:

…This tunne of treasure: and in lieu of this,
Desires to let the Dukedomes that you craue
Heare no more from you: This the Dolphin saith.

King. What treasure Vncle?

Exe. Tennis balles my Liege.

King. We are glad the Dolphin is so pleasant with vs,

And a wonderful scary and quite moving speech of war continues. (Link is to Kenneth Branagh as Henry V in his movie. Check it out.)

[purplehorseshoe]

@Namkcalb

If dolphins are so smart, why do they still live in igloos?

Errr … what?

[cmkeller]

It’s a South Park joke, from way back in the very first season, IIRC.

[Mr.Me]

“The public has this image of dolphins as mythical, unaggressive and intelligent animals,” says Dr Miranda MacQuitty, a researcher for the programme.

Mythical, unagressive and intelligent on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
/Cartman