# Could I sue... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 5, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890 "2011-07-05T12:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/1 "2011-07-05T12:29:12Z")
I know this is a really retarded question, but it’s because I’m tired and I think of really stupid questions when I’m tired. Say I’m wandering in public woods and get lost at night and wind up on some farmer’s land. Suddenly, as I’m walking, my belt breaks and simultaneously my zipper and pants’ button break, instantly dropping my pants to the ground. In the pitch dark, I cannot find where they dropped as they slipped off my feet, and since I forgot to wear underwear I am now walking around completely bottomless. As I’m walking, I hear a strange noise behind me. A whinny or a neigh. I’m confused and scared. I walk a little faster, but the sound is following behind me. Then, all of a sudden, a giant male horse mounts me and sticks his erect weiner into my butthole with pinpoint precision. Excrutiatingly painful as it is, I yell out in agony as the horse’s member tears and shreds my tender colon. My scream is so loud it attracts the farmer, who calls the cops on me for trespassing on his land. I then get cited for indecent exposure and bestiality as well. Oh, by the way, I caught all this on film as I accidentally left my video camera running the whole time. Could I sue the farmer for what his horse did to me? Or am I completely in the wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/2 "2011-07-05T12:34:52Z")
IANAL, but: (1) Did the farmer train the horse to rape trouserless people? (2) Did the farmer know that the horse habitually raped trouserless people? If the answer to both questions is “No” then the farmer had no reason to expect that his livestock would sexually assault you, and would have no tort responsibility for the horse’s actions. Horses are not dangerous animals, and in particular are not known to attack people in that way. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/3 "2011-07-05T12:38:24Z")
Also not a lawyer, but AFAIK, you can sue simply because you can pretty much sue anyone for anything though the case might not make it to court and there’s no chance in hell you’d win. > [@](#): > > Oh, by the way, I caught all this on film as I accidentally left my video camera running the whole time. There must be a market for that sort of slapstick/bestiality combo. Again, not sure about the legalities wrt that. ---
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/4 "2011-07-05T12:43:05Z")
Okay, if I couldn’t win in court, would I at least have enough to get the charges of beastiality, indecent exposure and/or trespassing dropped? ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/5 "2011-07-05T12:52:23Z")
> [@CheeseDonkey](#): > > Okay, if I couldn’t win in court, would I at least have enough to get the charges of beastiality, indecent exposure and/or trespassing dropped? Only if you could get a jury to believe your story, Larry Craig ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/6 "2011-07-05T12:53:07Z")
Bestiality – no, since you were raped by the animal. Indecent exposure – probably yes, since you had your trousers off where others might see you. Trespassing – not as a crime, since you accidentally strayed onto the land, and didn’t cause any damage. The farmer can just ask you to leave. ---
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/7 "2011-07-05T13:19:14Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > There must be a market for that sort of slapstick/bestiality combo. Again, not sure about the legalities wrt that. I’d probably have to go to Denmark if I legally wanted to make any money off of it. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/8 "2011-07-05T14:05:49Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > Also not a lawyer, but AFAIK, you can sue simply because you can pretty much sue anyone for anything though the case might not make it to court and there’s no chance in hell you’d win. Why do we have to go through this rigamarole every single time someone asks a question about the law? It’s just a common layperson’s way of putting the question. You know what the OP meant; if you have any useful knowledge, just get to it. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/9 "2011-07-05T14:18:39Z")
consider being lucky that you weren’t charged a stud fee and brought up on charges of theft of semen. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/10 "2011-07-05T14:27:31Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > consider being lucky that you weren’t charged a stud fee and brought up on charges of theft of semen. So, if person A tied $1,000 in banknotes to a brick, and threw it through person B’s front window, and person B used part of the $1,000 to pay for the repairs to the window, keeping the rest for other purposes, and used the brick to repair a wall missing one brick, could: (1) person B be charged with the crime of theft or embezzlement of the $1,000? (2) person B be sued by person A for conversion of the brick? I don’t think so. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/11 "2011-07-05T14:33:02Z")
> [@CheeseDonkey](#): > > I know this is a really retarded question, but it’s because I’m tired and I think of really stupid questions when I’m tired.\ In the pitch dark, \ I caught all this on film as I accidentally left my video camera running the whole time. And the blind man saw it all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/12 "2011-07-05T14:45:27Z")
[moderating] Since the OP is really looking for opinions here, I’ve moved the thread from GQ to IMHO. [/moderating] Incidentally, reading the OP makes me wonder whether horses are typically attracted to **CheeseDonkey** s. Probably, since that’s where CheeseMules come from. 😃 (And don’t tell me we’re actually talking about CheeseHinneys here. I like my joke better!) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/13 "2011-07-05T15:18:13Z")
Are you trying to find a way to weasel out of paying the farmer a stud fee for use of his horse? If money is tight, pay him off by transferring copyright of the bestiality video to him. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/14 "2011-07-05T15:36:40Z")
Did some out of the ordinary experience/stimulus cause this… such as saw a stud’s erect penis then took a walk in the woods or had some good(?) dope or all of the above? Just curious. ---
**Author:** ![CheeseDonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@CheeseDonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheeseDonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/15 "2011-07-05T15:56:29Z")
> [@brittekland](#): > > Did some out of the ordinary experience/stimulus cause this… such as saw a stud’s erect penis then took a walk in the woods or had some good(?) dope or all of the above? Just curious. Nope, the question just kind of popped into my head this morning. No stimulus…it just happened. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/16 "2011-07-05T22:36:56Z")
After all, the male horse is merely behaving naturally. He’s doing what is expected to a horses’ ass. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/17 "2011-07-06T00:17:26Z")
> [@CheeseDonkey](#): > > Nope, the question just kind of popped into my head this morning. No stimulus…it just happened. No stimulus for a horse-rape question? That’s hard to believe. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/18 "2011-07-06T00:22:01Z")
> [@Al\_Bundy](#): > > After all, the male horse is merely behaving naturally. He’s doing what is expected to a horses’ ass. Anal horse-sex is a vile perversion of decent, God-fairing horse-sex! – I suspect the horse on the receiving end wouldn’t enjoy the process much, either. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/19 "2011-07-06T00:58:23Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Indecent exposure – probably yes, since you had your trousers off where others might see you. > > Trespassing – not as a crime, since you accidentally strayed onto the land, and didn’t cause any damage. The farmer can just ask you to leave. Wrong on both counts. Indecent exposure ordinarily requires lewd intent, which is not present when the person is trouserless due to a series of unforeseeable accidents. Trespass to land, which is a tort and not a crime (although there is also criminal trespass), requires no showing of fault (beyond showing that the person entered upon the land as a result of his own voluntary act) or damages in order to prevail. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890/20 "2011-07-06T02:39:07Z")
> [@Ura-Maru](#): > > Anal horse-sex is a vile perversion of decent, God-fairing horse-sex! > > – > **I suspect the horse on the receiving end wouldn’t enjoy the process much, either.** Not with human penis; I regularly see vet’s sticking their arm all the way in up to their arm pits on Animal Planet vet shows and that doesn’t seem to bother them much… or it could be that they enjoy it? I don’t know how to read horse’s face. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-i-sue/587890.md?page=2)