# Could my state gov't get any more stupid? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 3, 2013, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900 "2013-01-03T00:00:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/41 "2013-01-03T16:01:18Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > the state forced her to name who the “father” was. What if she didn’t know? What if she _claimed_ she didn’t know? ---
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/42 "2013-01-03T16:02:35Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > What troubles me is that you can’t “bargain” away the child’s rights, but you can “procedure” away the child’s rights. > > It’s a bit of a phony argument that we’re placing the child’s needs first and foremost, but if you shell out 300 bucks to a doctor, the child’s needs are cast aside since you did it all legal-like. I agree entirely with this. As for the ‘deadbeat dad’ tangent. I don’t buy it at all. It isn’t as if the deadbeat dad is going to produce a contract stating he was a sperm donor. Both bio-dad and bio-mom are in _agreement_ that it was a sperm donation. The only reason it is an issue is because the STATE is trying to stick someone else with the bill. They aren’t going after a deadbeat dad. They are trying to be a deadbeat state. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/43 "2013-01-03T16:11:15Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > What if she didn’t know? What if she _claimed_ she didn’t know? She would probably have been told to give them a list of names to add to the putative father registry and that would have been it. > [@sachertorte](#): > > I agree entirely with this. > > As for the ‘deadbeat dad’ tangent. I don’t buy it at all. It isn’t as if the deadbeat dad is going to produce a contract stating he was a sperm donor. Both bio-dad and bio-mom are in _agreement_ that it was a sperm donation. The only reason it is an issue is because the STATE is trying to stick someone else with the bill. They aren’t going after a deadbeat dad. They are trying to be a deadbeat state. Lots of single mothers would agree that their children were the result of sperm donations if it meant they no longer had to bother pursing the fathers for child support. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/44 "2013-01-03T16:27:44Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > What if she didn’t know? What if she _claimed_ she didn’t know? > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > She would probably have been told to give them a list of names to add to the putative father registry and that would have been it. “During the time the child was conceived I was attending swinger parties for the purpose of anonymous sex.” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/45 "2013-01-03T17:02:18Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > You know, all of them! It’s right there in his post. Be advised that without warning, \*\*al27052 \*\*may mistake you for a noted television personality and then suffer a seizure. We suspect some form of temporal lobe damage but the details are scant so far. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/46 "2013-01-03T17:22:26Z")
I don’t understand what the problem is. If the guy’s wages get garnished or whatever, the woman can just give the money back to him. What’s the big fucking deal? Also, isn’t it possible to surrender your parental rights, but you have to go to court and do it with permission from a judge? You can’t just sign a piece of paper. A judge has to order it. Does anyone know under what conditions you will be allowed to surrender your rights? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/47 "2013-01-03T17:30:35Z")
Missed the edit window but I do in fact see that it is legal in Kansas to voluntarily relinquish your parental rights, and you CANNOT be held responsible for child support payments from the state if you have done this. And yes it must be done with a judge or with an officer that is authorized to do so. So, these people were just all around idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/48 "2013-01-03T17:30:39Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Does anyone know under what conditions you will be allowed to surrender your rights? In family law, where kids are concerned, the answer to just about any question is “if it’s in the best interest of the child.” A court generally won’t terminate parental rights unless there is a surrogate parent stepping in (say, a step-parent adopting the child) except where the parent whose rights are being terminated is a threat to the child. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/49 "2013-01-03T17:44:15Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Lots of single mothers would agree that their children were the result of sperm donations if it meant they no longer had to bother pursing the fathers for child support. If they have another person standing ready to be a second parent instead of the biological father, and everyone involved is happy with that arrangement, I’m puzzled to see why that would matter. Which is more important; the child having two involved parents who both want to parent, or ensuring that everyone who contributed DNA is held responsible for the results of their genes? Sometimes, like here, those two things are in conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/50 "2013-01-03T17:51:40Z")
In this case, they \*didn’t \*have another person standing ready (from a legal perspective), because Kansas would not have recognized the adoption of the child by the biological mother’s lesbian partner. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/51 "2013-01-03T18:23:29Z")
Reminds of that (chilling) case where a woman blew some guy, and secretly put his semen into her vagina and had his kid. Then he was on the hook for child support. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/52 "2013-01-03T19:02:28Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I don’t understand what the problem is. If the guy’s wages get garnished or whatever, the woman can just give the money back to him. > > What’s the big fucking deal? I said why in post 21. > [@](#): > > Does anyone know under what conditions you will be allowed to surrender your rights? Not when the state is trying to get reimbursed for a child on public assistance. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/53 "2013-01-03T19:43:07Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Reminds of that (chilling) case where a woman blew some guy, and secretly put his semen into her vagina and had his kid. Then he was on the hook for child support. And cases like that are why I don’t support requiring men to pay child support. There’s an anti-male slant to those laws. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/54 "2013-01-03T19:57:24Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Reminds of that (chilling) case where a woman blew some guy, and secretly put his semen into her vagina and had his kid. Then he was on the hook for child support. Cite? If there were ever a story that sounded like an urban legend… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/55 "2013-01-03T20:05:35Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Cite? > > If there were ever a story that sounded like an urban legend… [Old thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=236178)(From 2004) News story [http://www.mommyish.com/2011/11/23/woman-steals-ex-boyfriends-sperm-has-twins-sues-for-child-support-836/](http://www.mommyish.com/2011/11/23/woman-steals-ex-boyfriends-sperm-has-twins-sues-for-child-support-836/) [http://www.bionews.org.uk/page\_113236.asp](http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_113236.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/56 "2013-01-03T20:36:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Bauer has said she is willing to assume financial responsibility for the 3-year-old girl, but the state doesn’t recognize same sex partners, so she doesn’t have any say in the matter. If Baur is willing to assume financial responsibilty, why were they asking for state aid? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/57 "2013-01-03T20:54:27Z")
IIRC, they were asking for State Aid (Medicare) for the _Mother_’s illness. I have only anecdotal information, but IME once you let the camel’s nose of the state into your checking-account tent, the state thinks it has the right and reason to turn over every rock of your financial life. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/58 "2013-01-03T20:55:23Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > If Baur is willing to assume financial responsibilty, why were they asking for state aid? Even if she has a job that offers medical insurance to her family, it wouldn’t be available to a kid she’s not allowed to have legal ties to. So many things wrong here. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/59 "2013-01-03T22:10:03Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I don’t understand what the problem is. If the guy’s wages get garnished or whatever, the woman can just give the money back to him. Giving away her child’s support money might put her in violation of a court order, and if she were ever to get into a fight over custody or with CPS, I suspect it could be characterized as evidence of unfit parenting. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900/60 "2013-01-03T22:45:47Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Giving away her child’s support money might put her in violation of a court order, and if she were ever to get into a fight over custody or with CPS, I suspect it could be characterized as evidence of unfit parenting. she doesn’t have to TELL anyone what she’s doing. For that matter, TELLING the state that she knew the father was the first mistake. It’s not the state’s business, IMHO. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-my-state-govt-get-any-more-stupid/645900.md?page=4)