# could OF? would OF? should OF? ::::banging head on keyboard:::: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 4, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596 "2001-06-04T23:44:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/21 "2001-06-05T13:40:32Z")
I think that’s the point, **Rez** - **jr8** is complaining about people who spell it **mute**. At least, that’s what I assumed. pan ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/22 "2001-06-05T13:41:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kabbes \* > \*\*I think that’s the point, **Rez** - **jr8** is complaining about people who spell it **mute**. > > At least, that’s what I assumed. > > pan \*\* Yes indeedy.😉 ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/23 "2001-06-05T13:43:54Z")
I think it has to do with “internet notation” (my own made-up phrase) that’s plaguing the population. Posting, instant messages, chats, message boards (except this one, of course) are loaded with errors. Non-use of punctiation, phonetic spelling, substituting numbers for words, no capitalization, etc. People, and more important to note, YOUNGER people are having less use for actual pen and paper. Has anyone taken a look at the HANDWRITING of the average teenager? Well, it’s either that, or they’re just idiots. Or maybe my wife is right… and I’m just a curmudgeon. ---
**Author:** ![Earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/90db22/32.png) [@Earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthling)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/24 "2001-06-05T14:40:15Z")
Seen on a billboard the other day: **HAROLD’S CLEARANCE SAIL**. Um, I presume it’s “sale” and not “setting off in a boat.” This led me to think, hell, maybe we should ban all homonyms (or more precisely, homophones). In addition to the ones already pointed out: [ul] [li]too / two / to[/li][li]undo / undue[/li][li]here / hear[/li][li]accept / except[/li][li]the endless “affect / effect” confusion[/li][li]there / they’re / their[/li][li]cant / can’t[/li][li]where / were[/li][li]discreet / discrete[/li][li]defuse / diffuse[/li][li]toe / tow [/ul][/li]There are plenty others, but these are the common ones that come to mind right away. Banning homonyms would also make it more difficult to make puns, which some may consider a benefit. Oh, and Corporate America isn’t helping, either, what with Southwestern Bell Wireless renaming itself to Cingular. Yeesh. **GrizzRich** , maybe I’m getting too old, but the thing I don’t understand about “internet notation” is that though they’re supposed to be faster to type, it actually takes me considerable effort to read (not to mention _think up_) these abbreviations. For example, it’s a lot more straightforward for me to think and type “you are” rather than “u r.” Ah, the curse of literacy, no? ---
**Author:** ![kjorsty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kjorsty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjorsty)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/25 "2001-06-05T15:34:09Z")
Telphone companies. I hate my telephone company since they changed their name. It was once U.S. West. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now, their name is “Qwest”. Everytime I write the check to pay the phone bill I cringe, grit my teeth, and resist the urge to cancel my phone service because a large communications corporation is spreading illiteracy to thousands of people. I fear waking up one day and writing in my journal or a letter in which I use the word quest but instead write qwest. Damn them. Damn them all. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/26 "2001-06-05T16:06:17Z")
I think my co-workers think the “U.S.” was replaced with “Q.” because that’s how they say it: Q. West. Or Q-West. I haven’t decided yet whether it’s amusing or irritating. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/27 "2001-06-05T16:29:05Z")
I just called the lovely folks at Qwest . . . they, unfortunately, pronounce it “quest.” I’ll go grind my teeth now. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/28 "2001-06-05T16:42:13Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Philistine \* [li]the endless “affect / effect” confusion[/li][/QUOTE] Repeat after me: “To affect the effect, effect an affect.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/29 "2001-06-05T17:41:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > “To affect the effect, effect an affect.” Y R U, for all intensive purposes, going back in fourth over those words? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/30 "2001-06-06T12:39:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tdn \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > > “To affect the effect, effect an affect.” > > Y R U, for all intensive purposes, going back in fourth over those words? \*\* I’ll have you know that that sentence is grammatically correct. Mind you, I could of made a mistake… ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/31 "2001-06-06T18:35:12Z")
**Opal** , I know how you feel. I think it is a case of people being “television” literate who don’t read very many books. They know how the words are supposed to sound, but couldn’t write them to save a life. If you are well-read, I think you have a better grasp of spelling and word usage. ---
**Author:** ![Earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/90db22/32.png) [@Earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthling)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/32 "2001-06-06T19:35:05Z")
[petty showing off] > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by jr8_ > “To affect the effect, effect an affect.” From my dictionary: **chiasmus** - a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel phrases. There’s a book titled _Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You_ that contain a wealth of these gems. [/petty showing off] ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2001, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/33 "2001-06-07T13:19:11Z")
Think “could of” is bad? That ain’t nuffin’. I’ve seen “isn’t it” written as “is and it”. :eek: That one _really_ grates, dozen tit? ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/34 "2001-06-07T14:13:33Z")
But there’s one misuse of homophones that really makes me **loose** my lunch! ---
**Author:** ![Many\_Crows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Many\_Crows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Many_Crows)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/35 "2001-06-07T16:08:36Z")
Another one that bugs me: To CITE an example, post a SITE. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/36 "2001-06-10T18:27:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neidhart \* > But there’s one misuse of homophones that really makes me **loose** my lunch! I always figured that loose/lose was a typo, then I began to see it more and more (unfortunately, often on these boards). I chalked it up to a regionalism, until I saw it used in this [banner ad](http://secure.oneworldlive.com/_offers/upr3/redirect.asp?ulr=ulr24&creativeid=2). Is it taking over, and what can we do about it? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/37 "2001-06-11T17:32:12Z")
I often see these sorts of errors on flyers around campus. The people writing these flyers are college students at a well-respected school with a reputation for fostering good writing skills. Yet I frequently see things like “TAG YOUR IT!” at the top of a flyer advertising a trip to play laser tag. It did my heart good to see that someone had penciled “My it?” into the margin of one of these flyers. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2001, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/38 "2001-06-11T22:32:24Z")
For what it’s worth, I saw Buster Keaton’s _Steamboat Bill Jr_ last night at SIFF, and one of the title cards used “could of” or “must of” or something similar. And this, mind you, was in 1926. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/39 "2001-06-12T00:23:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fear Itself \* > **I chalked it up to a regionalism, until I saw it used in this [banner ad](http://secure.oneworldlive.com/_offers/upr3/redirect.asp?ulr=ulr24&creativeid=2).** They spelled it correctly in the last line of the copy, though. “Loose” may, indeed, have been a typo. What grates on me is that the perpetrators of these mistakes will sneer “I wasn’t an English major,” whenever you point out their mistakes as though there was something wrong with being an English major or as if only an English major would know such things or both. I usually tell them that I wasn’t an English major either. ---
**Author:** ![caircair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@caircair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caircair)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596/40 "2001-06-12T14:42:43Z")
Off the subject, but for showing off purposes, did you know there is a complete sentence that can be written using only homophones? “Write “rite” right, Wright.” Right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-of-would-of-should-of-banging-head-on-keyboard/67596.md?page=1)