# Could you be romantically involved with someone who'd been the Other Person multiple times...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-be-romantically-involved-with-someone-whod-been-the-other-person-multiple-times/583777>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 30, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-be-romantically-involved-with-someone-whod-been-the-other-person-multiple-times/583777 "2011-05-30T18:30:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-be-romantically-involved-with-someone-whod-been-the-other-person-multiple-times/583777/61 "2011-06-02T14:28:37Z")

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I don’t think it should be wildly controversial to say that you can be a nice person who’s done bad things. Cheating on is bad. Cheating with isn’t _as_ bad, but it’s still not okay. Doing the occasional not okay or even bad thing doesn’t render one a horrible human being.

That said, no one is obliged to date every non-horrible human being, and you’re allowed to pick and choose your criteria. If the cheating is a big deal for you, that’s valid.

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**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-be-romantically-involved-with-someone-whod-been-the-other-person-multiple-times/583777/62 "2011-06-02T14:48:57Z")

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Yup, it’s a matter of personal choice. I might take a dim view of it, but it’s not like I’m all het up wanting to sew a scarlet A on anybody; I’m just taking a pass.

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**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-be-romantically-involved-with-someone-whod-been-the-other-person-multiple-times/583777/63 "2011-06-02T15:00:47Z")

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Heh. Looking at the poll results, it appears that at least three people here are having some trouble accepting that their spouses do in fact have free will and were not actually forced in any way to cheat. Good luck with that, guys.

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**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\
**Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-be-romantically-involved-with-someone-whod-been-the-other-person-multiple-times/583777/64 "2011-06-02T18:40:25Z")

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“would not have a relationship under any circumstances” - well, assuming the person _knew_ he was involved with married people in those prior relationships. Similarly “morally the same as being the cheater”.

If the person did NOT know in any of the relationships, then I might question his ability to judge people, so I’d tread pretty carefully.

For what it’s worth: it takes two to cheat. The “other person” is just as bad as the spouse who’s cheating.

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