# Could you chop off your own head? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 26, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399 "2010-04-26T14:25:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/41 "2010-04-27T02:15:55Z")
I think someone did this with a chainsaw. Checking… [Yup. I thought I remembered this one correctly.](http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/articles/2007/05/09/1178390344008.html) ---
**Author:** ![kjbrasda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/74df32/32.png) [@kjbrasda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjbrasda)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/42 "2010-04-27T05:24:42Z")
Did somebody find the Head of Vecna? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/43 "2010-04-27T06:25:29Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Much better if you drink wood polish. It’s a horrible, slow and painful death, but it’ll give you a wonderful finish. “What happened to him?” - “Nobody knows. He just varnished.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/44 "2010-04-27T08:12:19Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > The more interesting question is “Could God chop off His own head?” Could God grow a head so large that even he could not chop it off? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/45 "2010-04-27T08:50:09Z")
Would it be possible to wrap some kind of super wire around your neck and yank at it from either side? I suppose you’d have to wear gloves so you didn’t slice your fingers off first. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/46 "2010-04-27T09:01:09Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Would it be possible to wrap some kind of super wire around your neck and yank at it from either side? I suppose you’d have to wear gloves so you didn’t slice your fingers off first. Maybe if it was attached to a stirrup into which you put your foot, then you stand up quickly and forcefully - more muscular strength and mass on the move = harder to stop halfway. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/47 "2010-04-27T09:06:48Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > The more interesting question is “Could God chop off His own head?” With that beard!? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/48 "2010-04-27T11:03:39Z")
Going back a few years, in a British Coroners handbook I saw a photo of a man who had cut his own throat with appropriately, a cut throat razor. It looked like he had a "flip top"head. I don’t think that he had got through the vertibrae though. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/49 "2010-04-27T13:58:23Z")
I once asked a cop what was the goriest thing he ever saw. I’ll put his answer in a spoiler box cause it’s prety gross. Open at your own risk [spoiler]He answered a report about a car hitting a tree. The driver was slumped over the steering wheel. The cop went to check the guy’s pulse on his neck and the cop’s hand went up into the inside of the neck. The car had hit a tree branch with such force that the victim had been decapitated and his head was under the back seat.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/50 "2010-04-27T14:12:37Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > This is in the running for _The Last Words Ever Spoken By the Human Race_, right up there with “I wonder what this does?” Also in the running: “Ya’ll watch this!” “Try and take it from me.” “Y’know, that outfit really _does_ make you look fat, honey.” “So you don’t think I’ve got the balls, huh?” “Of _course_ you can safely scratch a bear’s tummy!” “I wonder what that mountain goat is doing up here in this cloud bank?” The last one is courtesy of Gary Larson. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/51 "2010-04-27T15:02:19Z")
> [@Oregon\_sunshine](#): > > I think someone did this with a chainsaw. Checking… > > [Yup. I thought I remembered this one correctly.](http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/articles/2007/05/09/1178390344008.html) [A similar case.](http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1422241.ece) Can’t find a link, but there was also a bizarre case some years ago in (I think) South Africa where a man walked into a butcher shop, fired up the bandsaw, and attempted to cut off his own head. He died before getting all the way through, so mission accomplished, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/52 "2010-04-27T15:02:27Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Also in the running: My personal favorite: “Uh-oh” Francis “Dick” Scobee, Commander, Space Shuttle _Challenger_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/53 "2010-04-27T15:16:19Z")
[Time once again for an encore presentation of _The Passion of the Bat_.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7128461&postcount=21) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/54 "2010-04-27T15:28:47Z")
I was not prepared to laugh at that… but I did. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/55 "2010-04-27T15:58:46Z")
> [@Sal\_Ammoniac](#): > > Well, how about piano wire? A loop around your neck, another loop for your foot to go through, and a quick downward thrust of your leg. I can see it happening. Helps to have an well- developed lower body, and an underdeveloped upper body. The old piano wire story inclued a rope, a bridge, and some superglue. And it left the body hanging under the bridge upside down, holding its own head. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/56 "2010-04-27T16:11:30Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > It looked like he had a "flip top"head. Suddenly I feel like having Pez. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/57 "2010-04-27T19:41:31Z")
Here’s another (you couldn’t make this shit up): > [@](#): > > Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe’s most macho man by cutting off his own head in 1995. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some “men’s games”. Initially they hit each other over the head with frozen turnips, but then one man upped the ante by seizing a chainsaw and cutting off the end of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw and, shouting “Watch this then,” he swung at his own head and chopped it off. > > SOURCE: [1996 Darwin Award: Macho Men?](http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1996-07.html) ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/58 "2010-04-27T19:59:48Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > I am reminded of a story told by H.L. Mencken about a German emigrant in Baltimore. He decided to end it all, so he went to a bridge and climbed on the railing. He then put a noose around his neck, took poison and shot himself in the head. He said the police were impressed with his thoroughness. Sounds like the guy I heard about, except he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t just wound himself enough to keep him from jumping off, so he jumped and then shot himself as he was falling. But in the turbulence of falling, he missed his temple, the bullet ended up severing the rope, and after landing in the water, he swallowed so much brackish water that he vomited up all the poison. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/59 "2010-04-28T03:02:43Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > Sounds like the guy I heard about, except he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t just wound himself enough to keep him from jumping off, so he jumped and then shot himself as he was falling. > > But in the turbulence of falling, he missed his temple, the bullet ended up severing the rope, and after landing in the water, he swallowed so much brackish water that he vomited up all the poison. He also set himself on fire, but the water doused it. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399/60 "2010-04-28T04:00:41Z")
I don’t think so, Tim. You just don’t have the leverage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/could-you-chop-off-your-own-head/537399.md?page=4)